Very risky. How many people do you know that are understanding of criticism of their family? There is a ton of potential downside. And then what? You have ruined a relationship with a neighbor and it can get worse from there.
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FORTUNATELY there was no real harm done. We WOULD hit “no” for “would you host again” but not give a blatant honest review. And would use the 3rd Party excuse to not have them over again.
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Sorry but I’m going to shout here. YES YOU DO!
It’s so very selfish to your fellow hosts if you don’t leave honest and factual reviews.
This forum gets many hits from potential and new hosts and we need to stop encouraging them to be scared of what are referred to as ‘retaliatory reviews’ (whatever on earth that means).
Hosts need to be honest, as do guests.
If a host has a guest who is less-than-perfect then PLEASE tell your fellow hosts. Those hosts who don’t leave reviews, or leave ambiguous reviews, are doing their fellow hosts a huge disservice.
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Ok so exactly what review would you write in their shoes, to be “honest” yet risk pissing off a neighbor permanently?
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Sorry but not being fully honest in one review is trumped by keeping a relationship with someone that matters!
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I agree with you in almost all cases. But there are occasionally situations where hosts may put themselves in real danger by leaving a review. There have been hosts who got local guests who turned out to be pretty scary people, with warrants out for their arrest for violent crime or there was a stream of really sketchy people caught on camera going in and out. Hosts have even had “guests” cooking up meth in their homes.
In that case, it’s better for a host to leave no review, or a coded one like “1 night booking” than risk physical reprisal or have to be frightened.
Not leaving a review for guests if they don’t leave one for you isn’t some kind of punishment for the guest, it shows a complete lack of caring towards your fellow hosts, and a lack of understanding about the purpose of reviews. And it’s lazy.
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And, the neighbor won’t wonder why you won’t host their charming brother again?
Since I don’t have a close relationship with what’s left of the family, think I have a little different take on things.
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Per one of my other posts - we would use the very useful “blame the 3rd party” (insurance) - and do so with the Guest.
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We would say nothing to the neighbor at all. No upside there.
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Bad guests need to be stopped asap, these issues did not magically appear after they left; the host should immediately react to issues during the stay. For example, if the guests are behaving badly then the neighbor could have been contacted immediately. “After they left” is too late to control the damage. Not reviewing should not be the result of ‘lazy’ hosting.
"coded’ means nothing to seasoned hosts and again, lying in a review is just as bad when you are a host as when you are a guest…
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I really dislike coded reviews myself, but in certain rare situations, like a fear of physical reprisal, it seems like the only choice, unless you just decline to review.
I think most hosts can understand that “1 day booking” means the host had nothing good to say, and “Better suited to a hotel” is pretty clear. As I say, I don’t like it, but if it’s the host’s only real choice if they want to warn others, I can accept it.
It’s when hosts think that if they just say “Nice guests” or “Good communication” that other hosts won’t take that at face value, that is really unacceptable. It’s completely misleading.
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Set up a special secret code book for reviewing guests and then sell the info!
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I agree with Muddy, Rolf, and jaquo that hosts need to warn each other about potentially bad guests. (HudsonNY said these bad guests had prior good reviews. Maybe from other hosts also reluctant to tell the truth?)
What about this as a coded message? “Guests were referred by nearby neighbor and welcomed as family. They clearly communicated their arrival time (or some such neutral truth). There was a miscommunication about some of the house rules and the unsuitability of the property for children, but the guests were nice.” Would that be a clear enough warning?
Agree with others that if the relationship with the neighbor is good, a frank talk is in order. But asking them to ask their family member to not piss off the porch is just warning the guest to avoid the camera next time they want to to piss outside.
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It is not reasonable to expect someone to risk conflict with a neighbor, or that we are “duty bound” to give an honest review, regardless of circumstances.
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It is not that big a deal, really. The guests were “meh”. A bit messy, some extra people, kids and a late check-out. But nothing serious and no damage or stains. Very few of us would saunter over and kick out or chastise guests in this situation.
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I agree with whoever said that the next door folks didn’t want him in THEIR house. I doubt if they’ll be offended. I think the OP should stop pussyfooting around.
You obviously only deal with people who understand subtle clues, who are probably very polite. The clueless often wouldn’t get it if you slapped them upside the head with a 2x4.
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These guests sound really friggin annoying. I would be really annoyed too. I also would not want to deal with them. I hope I don’t have to deal with them. However, they are not the worst guests ever. @HudsonNY does not need to complicate her life by publicly trashing these guests in an Airbnb review. It is her real life with her real neighbors. Real life takes priority over Airbnb.
Does that mean that one of us might get stuck with these guests? Sure. Fine. Anyone of us on here could more than aptly deal with these guests should we book them due to their possibly vague review from Hudson. I agree with @Jefferson in that the relationship with the neighbors is more important.
It’s already a bizarre Sci-Fi film that we publicy admonish people for being messy or not communicating to our specifications. It’s not easy and it’s not natural. And it cannot be good for us. So, it is not a small ask for a host to write a bad review. And it is not appropriate to demand that someone do so at the risk of impacting their immediate lives, to embarass their neighbors. Get a grip. There is a risk to having guests. And you might get one that pees off the porch but they will be gone soon enough and I advise you to not piss in your own pool by embarassing your neighbors over it. It is not that important.
@HudsonNY , a good vague review works here. “My neighbor’s family stayed for 3 days”. They won’t think anything of it but it is better than nothing for the rest of us and it is the most any of us should ask. Give 1 star on everything. Anyone using the star ratings should either use 1 or 5. The way they average the stars will never reflect a 4, 3 or 2. And click on “won’t host again”. It won’t save you from your neighbor asking again so you just block off the middle 2 days that they need and say “I’m so sorry, it’s not available”.
Should hosts generally leave honest reviews? Yes. But let’s don’t pretend that they don’t have any repercussions.
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As a potential host, looking at a guest’s reviews, it is up to ME to decide what constitutes activity that would be considered acceptable or unacceptable for MY Airbnb. And that’s the point isn’t it? If you’re honest and factual, the next host can decide whether their actions are acceptable or not. Some hosts would find extra guests and kids showing up as tolerable, while others like myself with a small room in my own home would feel like they were being invaded.
I’d be happy though, if one section of the Airbnb manual dealt with coded reviews, with a list of them and their actual meetings. Until then, the only coded comment that I’ve ever understood is the southern USA expression “bless their heart“ lol
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You are worried about someone bringing extra guests and kids into your own home where you live? If you are there, can’t you just tell them to leave?
I have wanted to say that in a review a few times. It says what multiple paragraphs of detailed ranting just can’t. 
With a separate private entrance and not having my safety net in place (their info, their CDC vaccine cards, etc)… yes I am. Confronting folks like this never ends well.
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Send the guy’s wife the video with a comment of ‘thank you so much for staying- looks like you guys had a great time! Thought you would like this video for memories! ‘ 
If they have any decency what do ever, they won’t book again.
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I feel weird resurfacing this old thread, but I’m trying to catch up with older threads as they are a trove of great info and perspectives. So, my response here:
The relationship between neighbors… Seems this thread has been about how to maintain a good relationship with the other neighbor, by not bashing the less-than-stellar guests/family members publicly. But to maintain a relationship it has to be a good one in the first place. Shouldn’t we be seeing that it is the neighbor who has damaged the relationship already? They foisted their rude family on @HudsonNY who was left holding the bag. I do think that Husdon should have (and may well have) somehow, gently, informed the neighbor of their family’s “excursion” from the rules. Maybe that would be enough to chagrin them to not even asking later to stay. But for the onus on “having the good relationship” be on Hudson, I feel is backwards thinking.
Love this forum! Sorry to dredge up old threads, but I may be doing it again. It’s hard to read through them, get worked up about something, then realize it was almost a year ago in some cases.
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How is this?
This was quite the rambunctious group! Very social they didn’t limit themselves to registered guests, though I wish they hadn’t invited children (our listing says unsafe for children). They are family to our next-door neighbors and understand they had a great time. Wild!
Then check ‘would not host again.’
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