“Would not host again” and neighbor’s crappy family

21

You need your neighbour on your side and that’s the most important issue so you’ll need to speak with them.

It can be really nice and friendly. Just point out that renting a place via Airbnb isn’t like other rentals - that having extra people staying is against Airbnb’s rules and against your license and STR policies. Say “I’m sure that they weren’t aware of these things”.

There’s no need to mention the late checkout to the neighbour because that is really the host’s responsibility - to ensure that guests are out on time. Were they made aware of the cameras? If they were pointed out to them and if the bloke was still so insensitive as to have a pee in full view of a camera then that really was, NPI, taking the piss. If the neighbours are nice people they’ll see why that isn’t acceptable. (Bear in mind though that men do these things - probably simply because they can).

When you’re considering your review ask yourself “if I knew that these people were going to stay with my best friend, would I tell her?” I know that the hosts here are only internet people but we are real! :slight_smile:

By the way, almost every guests says “we’ll be back, it was wonderful” but certainly not every guest actually does.

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22

I would start by showing the neighbour the “pee tape” and then ask him:

“How can I possibly feel comfortable ever renting to your brother again? I won’t hold his behaviour against you, but if you or your kids looked out the window and saw one of my other guests standing at the front door with his fly open and his dick in his hand while pissing all over the porch, I expect you would immediately phone me and insist I get rid of the guy… and I would do so without delay.
Like I said, I’m not holding his behaviour against you, but I AM holding it against your brother – and nobody gets a second chance after doing something like THAT on MY front porch. He’s left me no choice.”

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23

@HudsonNY , I think @Sparky_O_Reilly kind of has a point to just be upfront with your neighbors about their brother’s behaviour. There is a reason that they didn’t have him stay with them. Of course they could have made up a believable excuse about space or Covid or something but I bet there’s a reason they had him stay at your place. They already know he’s a cad.

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24

Yes, I can envision the conversation.

"What? Joe wants to come visit again? No way. I put up with him and that snivelling wife of his and the bratty kids for 2 weeks last time- never again, I don’t care that he’s family. Get them to book that Airbnb down the street. And when you want to visit with them, I’ll make sure I have ‘previous plans’. "

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25

For instance, if any one of my three brother in laws want to come visit us, I might have them stay with you. I sincerely apologize in advance and I know you’re at least three hours away from here but if it has to be one of us, it is not going to be me :wink:

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26

I am afraid I would not write a bad review, nor mark them as “wouldn’t host again”. I agree their behavior was awful, but in the interests of having a good relationship with my neighbors, I would just say everything was great and move on. In reality how often would they stay in the future? Not that often is my guess and your neighbor is your neighbor every day!!

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27

Saying everything was great is outright lying to other hosts. Better to leave no review than a blatantly dishonest one.

And the guest has no idea if a host marked “Would not host again”- that information is not public.

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28

Definitely won’t be writing a great review or marking “would host again.” And there’s a strong chance they’d want to be back soonish considering upcoming holidays…

29

Rather than say good guest, can you find something positive to say, like Bill was friendly and enthusiastic or something else true?
You could skip mentioning how the left the house, how they communicated, and that they would not be welcome back.
When I review guests I mention specifically communication, that they are welcome back, and something about how they left the house. If their personality was notable, I might say that too.
Maybe if you just say the one nice thing that is true, other hosts will catch on, you’ll have to dump their house rules and cleanliness ratings for sure.

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30

No, I wouldn’t “catch on”. And hosts who don’t use IB are not privy to a guest’s star ratings, we rely on the written reviews.

Leaving low star ratings and a “nice” written review is cowardly and dishonest.

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31

Your lack of candor is a disservice to all hosts and by omission you are setting up the next host to be hurt by this guest.

Maybe this will help: before you sit down and write a review that is colored by your need to be dishonest for your personal benefit, try to imagine what it will be like when you read a guests review it tells you how wonderful they are and turn out to be the guests from hell.

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32

@rolf & @muddy
I totally get what you guys are saying and am constantly annoyed at the people who post on FB groups how they gave a bad guest a good review as they were afraid they’d get a bad review, not even understanding it’s blind.

However, you have a host who also does not want to offend his neighbor, a neighbor who could get angry at a bad review for family and retaliate. Maybe he calls the city or county on the rental house, maybe he calls ABB and files neighbor complaints, who knows how it might affect the host.

It also sounds like these guests were not malicious partiers, but rather dumb about how it all works. Or perhaps they acted with the over familiarity of having family next door, so they failed to act as great guests and instead acted like rude family.

I am seeking some sort of middle ground, many times I would see a host like this (on FB forums) advised to not risk himself and just leave no review. I wondered if damning them with faint praise could be a solution, perhaps not? But dang, OP, do not out and out lie, do not say anything good about them that is untrue.

A bigger question is can you educate them as to how guests should act? Can you say to the neighbor, as suggested above:
“Gloria, we were happy to host Bill and hope they had a good time, but I need a favor from you. I don’t monitor my guests but I got a front door camera alert and there was Bill peeing off the front stoop. Kinda hard to unsee that. Could you ask him not to do that if they stay again? The other thing is we don’t normally allow kids under 12 because of the [unfenced pool, sheer cliff, vicious coyotes] and I was really worried the kids visiting could get hurt. Also our insurance only allows us to have a maximum of x people in the rental at any time. So could you keep the kids over at your place? That would be a huge help.”

I think that strikes the perfect attitude.

Perhaps you even put in the review that the house required longer cleaning time, that’s just a fact and not being judgmental (in their eyes.)
Personally, I too, would not make the peeing off the deck the last straw. I read these posts often and I do think it depends on the setting. In a neighborhood where no one else can see them, whatever (because I have lived on acreage and that’s a pretty normal thing for guys.) In an HOA perfect neighborhood, stop it! (apparently this is a real issue for people who have homes fronting on golf courses, guys are constantly peeing in their yard, that’s gross.) I don’t know your set up, but do believe you that you think neighbors might see.

I believe I would point out to the guests, at least in the private feedback that it was problematic for you that they brought kids to your adults only house, maybe deflect potential anger by blaming it on insurance or something, but point out that it was a problem?

If you can approach this in a way to give future hosts any sort of heads up, and rating them guests low on stars (which I think they don’t see?) will give hosts a heads up on a low star value, mention it took longer to clean, throw in some nice comment if there is anything nice to say about them, but keep it weak. I think this is better than no review.

33

I said it before but I see I have to say it again- hosts who don’t use Instant Book cannot see guests’ star ratings, anymore than guests can.

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34

You do not have to leave any review. That is what I do often when the guest has not reviewed our listing. Also, you can change the rate for the booking if you decided to keep the peace with your neighbors. They would decline or accept the much higher rate (cleaning fees). If your neighbors ask why the significant increase just say that is the market rate for the number of people.

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35

Seems like this is all hinging on the neighbor, telling the neighbor what happened, negotiating with the neighbor.
I’m assuming the guest was an adult and kowtowing to that person because of the neighbor seems wrong.
Where is honesty? Why try to downplay something that was wrong. If this “guest” doesn’t see that peeing off the deck of a place where he is a guest and bringing in extra children when he’s not supposed to is wrong, he’s not trainable. It needs to be pointed out.

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36

I would not host this family again. They have clearly violated your house rules and shown a disrespect for you as a host and homeowner. Make up all kinds of excuses any time they try to book and they’ll get the message. Personally this is what I would do rather than try to talk to your neighbors etc. which sounds like a very delicate situation. Also maybe not give a review at all is the best solution in this regard. Good luck and stand your ground. Totally unacceptable!

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37

You can’t win in this case. That’s why i’d probably let the review date pass and not write anything. Then you’re not lying and you can’t offend anyone.

About your comments: try to name the things that are really disturbing like permanent stains, the peeing,… The fact about visiting children I would leave out when mentioning it to your neighbors. Yes, it is against your policy and you’re right to be angry. But not welcoming children (although totally justified in your case) can be sensitive and undermine the rest of your story.

I would also never give them another discount again and if possible and you have target dates in advance, I would even dare to up the pricing. At least then you’ll be compensated for your extra work (if you can’t just say no).

Apart from that, I feel that people who pay less are also just less respectful of your property. Those who pay more expect more, but in my experience are also a lot more respectful and abide by the rules much better.

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38

Different story when one does not want a pissed off neighbor. We would look to do a “blame the 3rd party” to pass on future bookings with them.
.
Sorry but we can’t - our insurance policy does not permit children and visitors who were not on the booking party. They are very strict and we can not risk our policy that way. Thank you for your understanding.

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39

I think that’s an interesting alternative approach.

You could give a neutral public review, “Nice guests, thanks” or whatever then say more in private review. “Thanks for booking. A couple reminders: Activity at the front door, such as pissing off the stoop, triggers the outdoor camera to alert and record. For insurance and safety reasons, no kids and a limit of x people on the property, inside or out. We can’t modify these requirements even for friends.”

Then you haven’t involved the neighbors.

If you give a negative public rating – you’re justified in doing so, of course – you can bet your neighbors will hear about it.

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40

If I knew the listings of all the hosts here suggesting to leave a “nice guests” review for guests you’d never want to host again, I would make a note of them, so as to discount any guest reviews you’ve written, as I would doubt their honesty.

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