Unneccssary friction

Flettie’s posts removed at his request.


Exactly, I try and frame everything involving this business with that in mind. What is the best business decision for this situation?


Raises hand. :raising_hand_woman:


By the way, I think “takes the high ground” means rises above it all in a positive way. But I think what you meant was “someone thinks their :poop: doesn’t stink” because they are a Superhost which is supposed to be insulting. And I’m okay with that too.


I don’t see it as forum friction. Take the advice as it benefits you and just ignore the rest.
I don’t believe anyone posts anything to be mean. Well that someone doesn’t post anymore. We are all such different hosts so there no right or wrong as far as the opinions
Overall this is a valuable resource for host information.


Your perception that there is “friction” here. I don’t share that perspective. I get much valuable insight here and a lot of it comes from seeing the contrasts as well as the similarities in how others do things.


That is the tone of the OP, frankly.


You make some good points, @Flettie, but I have a counter-argument (let’s face it, this wouldn’t be Air Hosts Forum if I didn’t!)

You’re right, the entrenched positions do get a bit wearing and the trouble is that because many of us know who we agree with and “follow”, we read and like these these posts and it reinforces our certainty that what we’re doing must be right … the “echo chamber” situation. Moreover, I’m not entirely convinced that people run their B&Bs based entirely on logical business decisions - our own personalities come into play a lot. There’s no way I will accept back-to-back one-night stays because basically I’m a lazy cow …

However, sometimes you really can learn from hosts whose style is completely different. Example: I’m firmly in the “Rules is for Schools” and let’s just expect our guests will be civillised individuals camp, but found somewhere this has fallen down recently. Most guests don’t own a pool and don’t realise things like not using glass nearby, not wearing sun cream when they swim etc. So instead of casually mentioning these things to them and hoping they’ll remember I now have a laminated list of rules for the pool (though I stick to my No Rules rule by calling them Guidelines!) It’s worked very well - I might even do a few more!

BTW, hoping to visit Buxton Festival next year when I stay with my daughter in Sheffield!


Thanks for a great response - 99.9% of my guests have been absolutly reasonable and civilised the others I’d happily go to prison for :slight_smile:


Anyone that is entirely convinced need only spend a few minutes on this forum to see the error of their ways.


I wish I could “like” your post more than once! You are so perceptive. I’d also say that a lot of the friction/debate (however you choose to interpret it…) on here comes from the entire-property v in-home hosts. They are such different beasts. I do both at the moment so can often see either side but I don’t have much in common with multi-property owners. And already I can feel my hackles rise at the thought of those greedy money-grabbing speculators… JOKE. But also making a point that it’s not just personalities that are at play.

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Different solutions can be had for the same problem. That is not to say that every decision is perfect. There can be better ways of hosting. It is healthy to have your decisions questioned and to think if there is a better way to do things. Lots of businesses go bankrupt.


@flettie thanks for your post!

I too have trouble sometimes with the tone on this forum, but overall I’ve gotten great advice, I hope I’ve also given some, I’ve got support and also “tough love” (but usually doesn’t really feel like love).

I recently had a guest making complaints about the cleaning, which apparently she had a history of doing with other hosts (who did not say so in their reviews).

I got lots of support, outrage, empathy and confirmation from other hosts who found this ridiculous and unacceptable. This was healing! And just what I needed.

I also got 3 or 4 feedbacks saying, shame on you, you should have cleaned better.

We all need empathy and support faced with airbnb’s tough tactics. WHY does this forum have to be so much one-upmanship.


That’s a rhetorical question, right?


Got it! Gonna start my own airbnb love host forum. :smiley:

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You wouldn’t like the answer and don’t want to hear it so I’ll skip it…this time. As you know perfectly well this forum has some of the best advice around…for free. Better than hucksters on youtube and “bloggers” with so many ads on their blog you can’t read the articles.

People indignantly say they are going away and yet return to read in secret but stop posting. Others create new profile IDs to post because they crave the attention. Masochists I guess. It’s amazing.

No place where people gather is going to be perfect. Look at churches! They are drama and meanness magnets and those people are saved by grace and have the love of Jesus down in their hearts. LOL.


Amen to that, Sister! I speak as a faithful member of a very liberal Anglican Church for the last 20 years … and I swear that nowhere else have I found such vicious rivalry and emnity! Plenty of the opposite of course, but it’s no wonder so many of the Golden Age murder mysteries were set in vicarages. I’m just waiting to write my crime novel “Who stabbed the Archdeacon?” and believe me the queue of suspects is already out of the door …


Hmm. Maybe something that’s not being accounted for is everyone on here may be spending a good part of their time writing back and forth to guests. And even the perfect guests, who are not difficult at all, require a certain amount of extra energy for communication. We have to be parse words, be extra polite, really make sure to be clear but not make any wrong impressions. It’s a lot of work. But on here, it is more of a “safe room” where we can relax a little and be more direct and not have to lay the manners on so thickly, beat around so many bushes. I’m not denying that some replies or comments haven’t seemed harsh to me at times but I still think it’s friendly fire. If everyone was coming from the same place and had the same opinions, I doubt it would be such a helpful forum. I personally find direct communication easier but know that a lot of people don’t and so try to “word things nicer” but it would be easier to not have to. (Having to say “IMO” when it is clearly my opinion since I’m saying it, but I get that it’s about tone). And there seem to be quite a few folks on here who have answered the same questions over and over and that’s what I get out of some of the tone; however, it only makes more grateful that they’ve taken the time to answer the question again.

BTW, spend an hour in the Airbnb subreddit and this seems like one big happy family ,)


OMG yes! I took a look and skedaddled straight away. It’s true that regular posters get tired of answering the same questions and engaging in the same topics over and over. That’s life. I try not to engage unless I have something useful or amusing (yeah, matter of opinion!) to say.

One thing that I have decided NEVER to do, despite the posts on here: get a blacklight. FFS, we’re not performing surgery.


From Merriam Webster online dictionary:

Forum: a medium (such as a newspaper or online service) of open discussion or expression of ideas

Support group: a group of people with common experiences and concerns who provide emotional and moral support for one another

We are the former, some people want the latter. Nothing wrong with that and I’m sure that as soon as someone starts one it will be all rainbows and unicorns and singing Kum-ba-yah.