Leaving fb for host

I’m not sure I’m doing this right but I can’t seem to find this topic. I’m getting ready to leave really bad fb for a host and want to do it at the last minute. Can someone tell me how to do that? I know you have 14 days but when is the last hour? It doesn’t really matter if she responds or not but that is how I want to do it. I’m have been a host on airbnb for 6 years and have been a superhost for 5. I stay in airbnb’s frequently. I’ve never had the experience I just had recently. I felt so unwelcome and disrespected I ate the rental fee and stayed in a hotel instead. If this had been my first experience with airbnb I would NEVER use the platform again. Can someone tell me how to know when the other person can’t respond? As it is, she has said more than enough that should have been left unsaid.

There isn’t a time when they can’t respond. If you wait to leave a review until 14 days after the stay, time expires at the same time that Airbnb sent the initial email to review. So if they sent the email at 3:20 pm Pacific time you have until 3:20 PT 14 days later. But after your review posts she can respond to it on her listing. She can’t put anything else on your profile.

I’d love to hear more details about what consitututes “unwelcome and disrespected.” I don’t doubt you, there are lots of subpar hosts but could you be specific. And when you review please be specific.


Ok thanks, that was helpful. I don’t want her leaving anything bad on my profile. She was paid to do nothing but maybe leave a light on longer than she would have preferred. I’ll try and summarize my experience with this host.
I had booked a few weeks before the stay as I was meeting my sister at an airport close to this property. Her flight was late so we thought we’d just get a place close to the airport and then go on to our destination the next morning. I woke up the day we were to stay there to a text from my sister saying her flight had been canceled due to weather. I contacted the host early in the morning to see if there was a way to alter the reservation to the next day. She didn’t respond. I had a four hour drive to the airport my sister was flying into so went ahead and got on the road not knowing when or if my sister would make it. I knew there was a good chance I couldn’t alter my reservation but it would have been nice to know one way or another. The roads were really bad and I was stressed to say the least. I received a phone call from my host while driving and her exact words were, “are you coming or not”. I answered that I still wasn’t sure when my sister was arriving but was hoping she was successful in getting another flight. I knew by this time it was too late to do anything with my reservation so I said I would keep it as is. My sister was able to get another flight but would arrive even later than the first flight which was scheduled to get in at 10:00 PM. I had several hours to kill waiting and texted my host (who had a check-in time of 4:00 pm) that I would like to check in earlier than I had told her, to rest and wait for my sister’s arrival. It was more of a courtesy than anything else since I felt I had a right to use the property anytime after check-in. She texted back “earlier than what?” It was around 7:00 PM by then. I proceeded to get another text from the host saying she didn’t wait up for late arriving guests as she had to be in church early the next morning. I texted back that I didn’t expect her to but still planned on coming to rest a while before my sister got in around midnight. She thought that was too disruptive and didn’t want to waste electricity on leaving lights on. Needless to say I didn’t even want to go there by now so I booked a hotel. I woke up to another text from her the next morning stating she “expected better behavior from a host.” I looked through the messages on airbnb and saw that she never once welcomed me nor gave me any information that would have been nice to have. I personally have a “canned” message welcoming guests and giving them the same information that is in my listing but they might have forgotten or simply missed while booking. Between her rude phone call and rude texts I decided to just eat the fee and book a hotel. It was more how her words made me feel than anything else. I don’t think I’m hypersensitive because if I were, I’d never lasted 6 years on airbnb. The first thing in reviewing a host is “how was your experience?” My experience was terrible. A kind word about weather and stress etc., would have gone a long way and it was obvious to me that she didn’t care one whit about what I was going through. It was all about her being inconvenienced by not knowing exactly when I was arriving and having to use electricity by leaving lights on for us.
If the situation had been reversed I would have sympathized with my guest and simply left lights on and gone to bed. My guests are free to come and go as they wish between check-in and check-out and leaving lights on and not knowing exactly when they are arriving is really no concern to me. I have self-check in as this lady did as well. IMO she did not do her job as a host and added to my already stressful day. And like I said in the first message, if this had been my first experience booking on airbnb, I’d never do it again. Once you book a hotel, you are free to come and go and they don’t worry about electricity. Sure this is her home but by accepting bookings, she is opening it to the public and needs to be more accommodating. It’s been almost two weeks and I’ve had a lot of time to think about this so I know I’m not just reacting. She deserves a bad rating.

Oh lord, please stop me from commenting on this…oops, unsuccessful. May I ask how long she had been hosting and how many reviews she had?

OTOH, being honest here, you pay for a room, not a therapist. Not knowing if someone is arriving, changing their reservation and their mind about arrival times is inconvenient. And expecting everyone to host the way you do isn’t really fair either.

Now if you booked with me with a separate entrance I would have been kind, solicitous of your dilemma, the lights and heat would be on. Unless my phone malfunctioned you would get quick replies to your messages. I do think she was rude but I think you were in a situation where you should have booked a hotel from the beginning. I really try to keep my feelings separate from the business. So you can give her the review you feel she deserves. I suspect if I read her review about you on this particular reservation it would make me hesitant to host you. You are projecting how you host onto this other person.


Could be but my review is about MY experience with this host, not about what you think. My experience will be what I review. I’ve stayed in many airbnb’s and I’m the most flexible person you will ever meet.

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One thing I’ve learned is that texts don’t always correctly convey feelings etc. Some people write terse texts because texting is cumbersome and the message received can be ambiguous or harsh. Going back and forth over text can make it worse.

Sometimes, it’s best to actually pick up the phone and call. Explaining something that’s complicated and conveying some emotions are prime examples. Both apply to the situation you describe and I have to wonder if a simple phone call could have smoothed things out.


Maybe, it’s all second guess from here. All I can say is the one and only phone call I had with her made me want to never speak to her again. I went into great detail apologizing for all the unknowns and I knew it was too late to do anything with the reservation so never asked again. Her answer was “are you coming or not?”

Here is my draft review:

I would not recommend staying with X, I ended up not staying because I felt unwelcome. X has self check in but told me she did not want to waste electricity leaving a light on for me. Her communication was slow, and when she did get back to me her responses were terse.



Thanks I like that! I want it to be succinct or no one is going to read it.


I get it. I have over 450 5 star reviews and am the top host in my city. I got there by meeting my guest’s needs and doing some extraordinary things along the way. But not everyone hosts like we do and you may have a bad review coming your way as well.


I am doubtful the host will give a preemptive bad review for a guest that did not stay and did not ask for a refund. But it would be almost certain if the host sees that the guest reviewed first because she would know it was a bad review.

But who knows, anything could happen.

I think this host does need to be called out on her inhospitality, we are in the hospitality business and even Motel 6 will leave a light on for you.


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She sounds like the type that would. But maybe if she can’t be bothered to reply to guests she can’t be bothered to post reviews.

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I agree that she was pretty unwelcoming and ungracious with the travel challenges you and your sister were running into. I like River Rock’s wording for the review.

I can see some frustrations from her side. Hosts pick a range of check-in times, but once you’ve arranged an arrival time with them, THAT is now your check-in time. IMO you were a little entitled with the “informing her was just a courtesy” attitude about showing up several hours early. She’s already planned her schedule (and possibly cleaners) around the arranged time.

You said her check-in window started at 4pm; what was the latest time she set?
I get the sense this was a room in a house rather than a stand alone listing. Once the host learned you’d arrive much earlier than expected AND return again after midnight, disrupting her sleep, you were probably working her last nerve. It sounds like she should tighten up her check-in window or not allow self check-in if she isn’t okay with allowing liberal use of them!


There was no cut off time. That was the big reason I chose the place. Hosts who try and see things from a guest perspective are better hosts. My entire interaction with her was all about her.

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I agree, anything can happen. I’ve thought about her reply and honestly I think anything negative she says about a guest who books a hotel rather than stay with her, will seem lame and defensive.


Sounds like she has missed the entire point of self check in

The review window closes exactly 2 weeks from when you get your first reminder to review. Take a look at the timestamp on the “please review HOST” email.

I think there is genuine frustration on both sides, and if both you and the host end up reviewing, I would hope both left an honest and nonemotional description of events. But that is a tall order since many guests and hosts have trouble avoiding sharing just how hurt they were by the other party’s behavior. This might be a situation where a mutual non-review is best outcome.

If I were the host in this situation, I would likely leave an honest and neutral review at the end of the review window. I would note that the guest decided to stay elsewhere and asked for a refund for the first night. In fact, I have left such reviews at the end of the review window.

This host could improve her affectiveness in texting, but it is her choice if she wants to allow flexible check-ins or meet her guests. It is easy to overlook the setting of the “end-time” of a check-in window in the booking settings. It does sound like you expect a hotel experience, so perhaps hotel stays will be a better fit for you in the future.

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Did she initially ask you a check in time? Or did you just happen to provide one? With our room we have self check in and do not ask when they are coming as there is no point if we offer the convenience of self check in.

Honestly I probably would not have asked to change my reservation, especially if you were heading that way anyway. Then you were sending multiple messages where you are constantly changing your mind, stating you were not coming then you are arriving, then you are arriving earlier. This just was giving the host too many details that were constantly changing.

I recently booked an extra night at an Airbnb as I had to stay logged into my computer for work until 6pm and did not feel I should ask for any favors such as a late check out. I left at 615 even though I paid for another night. So I would not think to ask a host morning of my reservation to change a date. I would just feel that was too demanding as she could probably not rebook at the last minute and your reservation blocked her calendar for that night that you originally booked.

Granted she could have at least pretended to be gracious with your multiple change requests.


450!!! Bravo!!!

In defense of all concervationists I would say that if someone leave lights on all the time I would be furious too. I am not saying you have no right to be stressed out about the situation with your sister, her flight, you driving for hours, your host not being nice at you specially becaus e you are “paying” for a place to stay. But I would say everyone has their own point of view things and you are upset because she wasn’t “easy” on you. I don’t doubt you are a super-host and by having YOUR way to do your business, but each host has its own way to run their business. Good luck next time! BTW I am not his host :wink: