They’re the new James Carville and Mary Matalin. shrug
Guy goes into a hotel bar, sits down on a stool at the bar, orders a drink, then notices an attractive woman sitting alone a few seats down, with no one else between her and him. He strikes up a conversation.
“So, are you a guest at the hotel?”
“Yes”, she answers, pointedly not looking at him.
“Are you on holiday?”
“No, I’m a flight attendant”, without enthusiasm, making it obvious she doesn’t appreciate the attention.
"Oh, what airline do you work for? Wait- let me guess. ‘Fly the friendly skies?’ No? How about ‘Where will tomorrow take you?’ No, not that one? Okay, how about ‘We go above and beyond?’ "
He continues to reel off airline slogans, she continues to ignore him.
Finally, she swivels on her stool and says loudly, “Look, mister, what the f**k do you want?”
“Air Canada!”
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After all the COVID-19 cancellations, I now look at my calendar and truly know how the hosts on Houfy feel…
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This is insane!!
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Now that was inspired and brilliant.
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SPOILERT ALERT: Politics & Religion. If that might offend you, best you move on.
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Hilarious. As far as I’m concerned, I look forward to more “offensive” laughs.
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If only he had his face obscured all the time and I didn’t have to see it everywhere. Literally makes me want to plant a boot in it, and I’m not a violent person.
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Hey, I’m not a doctor. But you should try it. What have you got to lose?
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Stole and shared on FB!
I have a smile on my face as I toddle up to bed. I would sing it as I go, but Mr J is asleep already. T’wouldn’t harmonise well with his snores.
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Australian sense of humour…and I don’t mean to offend
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Breaking News:
Two people arrested for sunbathing during lock down in Scotland yesterday, both have tested positive for Hypothermia…!
JF
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I posted these on my FB page:
One/two liners:
This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog… we laughed a lot.
My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.
Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.
Home-schooling update: 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.
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Boris Johnson is out of ICU and is being rushed to a hair stylist.
We are all gonna become so bored by the end of this that everybody is gonna know how to fold a fitted sheet.
Commercials in 2030 will be like: 'Were you or someone you know overly exposed to hand sanitizer, Lysol or bleach during the 2020 coronavirus pandemic? If so, you may be eligible for compensation!
Due to Covid-19, I’m self-isolating. No one may enter my home except Jason Momoa, Hugh Jackman and those cute firefighters holding baby puppies and kitties from that calendar I saw.
And for KKC:
“Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.”
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LOL. I’m gonna do both: I’ll be an amazing cook with a drinking problem.
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