To celebrate my 5 year anniversary with Airbnb, I’m launching a new service and I’d like to offer it first to my fellow forum members.
Over the last five years I’ve hosted over 600 stays, been a SH 19 straight quarters, and have maintained 98% 5 star ratings. My one lagging category is location for which I have a 4.9. I have 498 reviews with the following breakdown on overall stars: A single one star rating that was given by mistake, one 3 star rating which was earned, 7 four star ratings, 487 5 star ratings. It’s obviously time to monetize this $h!t.
Many people have wondered how I manage this living right next door and boarding dogs too. How can I have a pet friendly listing and still have 5 stars overall for cleanliness? How can someone so clearly obnoxious on the forum get such good ratings?
My new service business, HICHUP, (pronouced “hiccup”) stands for “How can I help you up?” This is how it will work: You will offer me a one night stay per room at no cost. If your home has 10 rooms, I get 10 nights. Two rooms, 2 nights. I assume all visits will be 2 nights minimum (guest room and a bathroom either private or shared). In exchange, I will go over every inch of your Airbnb inside and out and brutally critique it with the honesty that is my hallmark. I will tell you what needs to be cleaned better, what you need to do for maintenance, and cost effective ways to improve your listing that will appeal to all demographics. This offer is for forum members only. Others will have to pay an annual subscription fee of an amount and at a time to be determined at a future date that will keep changing.
All the tips I’ve shared here are available to you now in a personalized, one on one, customized to your needs, form. My proprietary 100 point check list will be your new best friend. Categories for review include
Make fun of my headlamp at your peril
Cotton, the fabric of our wives
How to pretend you care about guests, aka faking empathy
I always feel like someone’s watching me: exterior surveillance made simple
flogging your blogging (even when you don’t know much)
and a special new category called “How to treat Asians like people” has been added for those who need extra help.
Availability limited and dependent on my existing travel plans.