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Yes. I am perfectly comfortable talking to people I know, or even strangers, if they initiate the conversation.
I just need time to myself frequently, to recharge, as you say.
There is also the tendency to conflate introversion with things like Aspergers. They can go hand in hand, but not necessarily. People with Aspergers have a hard time reading other people’s faces and emotions.
I am quite the opposite. If anything, I am hyper aware of the tiniest facial expression or change in voice tone. When I’m on the subway, I always find myself wondering if the person across from me had a bad day, or trying to figure out how different people are related and if they just had a fight. It can be exhausting and sometimes I wish I could turn it off. I would probably make an excellent poker player, if I could just figure out how to hold a hand of cards and shuffle.
Yes exactly. I wish i could do it, but i know myself. Thats why when i trravel, i travel slow, as i need more time to get my energy back.I meet a lot of people every day, and i talk to strangers a lot. That makes me very tired. I like to spend time in my hotel in a mornings before facing the world:), and then come back and not talk to anyone.
I make a perfect guest. I am out of the host’s way most of the time, and dont bother anyone with my conversations.
wow, i do that to. I even have a game where i try to figure out this person’s favorite drink, music, places to eat, and what kind of house he/she has. I also very much aware of my surroundings and how people react to what i say.
Good stuff Yana; by total coincidence was talking to one of my guests yesterday about this very thing; she came across like a Triple-A extrovert, but assured me would die having to deal with people in rapid succession for too long, and needed time alone intermittently, thus why she came to the island.
I saw your island, looks amazing. Too bad its rented 2 years into the future. I dont know how people can be so certain this is what they are going to do in 2 years:).I am not sure where my travels will bring me as of next month.
To me is the weirdest thing in the world. Yesterday I get a message, from a woman who booked 6 months ago for this coming Spring (2017); now they are getting divorced. I went back and re-read her original enthusiastic communique, because it was a surprise to her ‘loving husband’. Imagine what could happen in 2 years. As the world turns.
Garden - it sounds like a lot of us are what is classified as “highly sensitive people” - and I don’t mean we go crying because someone criticized our house rules…lol.
I think the statistics are that around 20% fall into this category, and about 30% are extroverts, 70% introverts.
But we feel things on a deeper level. I am extremely sensitive to noise. I can drive 45 minutes to town in complete silence. No radio needs to be turned on. But I do get very annoyed when riding with someone and they have the music on loud.
I recall at some jobs where other co-workers said they could never work somewhere if it wasn’t busy. They claimed to not be able to sit still. Huh?? You can pay me any day to just sit there and day dream…if there really is nothing to do because no customers are coming in. Maybe those co-workers were just lying to act like they have such high work ethics…lol.
But like you mentioned how hyper aware you are in any change of voice tone, expression. I am too. And this is why I can sense (sometimes) from beginnings of communcation - guest has other intentions - or I know they want to arrive early and pretend to not have known check in time, etc. Although, another host may say the guest has made no indication of it. But HSP’s can just feel it and will pick up on one slight word.
We are extremely detail - oriented, and that is what makes us excellent hosts - even if we have quieter personalties. We take a lot of time to ponder when making a decision. My partner cannot understand when I say sometimes it takes me days to do research on the internet…just to make a decision. But then I have to remind him how many thousands of dollars down the drain he has wasted because he makes hasty decisions…ha!
He thinks I am crazy when I try to show him how manipulative someone is trying to be. He cannot “see” it, and says I am just a hateful person. He can only tell someone is manipulating him, far, far after they have ripped him off already and long gone. BTW - my “partner” is not my significant other…just in case anyone is wondering why I would be with someone who thinks I hate everyone…lol.
LOL! Is she still coming? Maybe alone or with a new young man?
I wouldn’t give up my place in line at your island just because a simple divorce happened.
I know because they tell us, usually before they book. It’s in our listings, we expect to know who is staying at our house.
We all do things differently. We don’t host anonymous guests.
We had one guest stay with us over Christmas once, he was an infectious disease specialist and he left every wastebasket and garbage receptacle in the apartment filled to overflowing with surgical dressings. He registered under a false name. We had to scour the internet to figure out who this guy was but once we did, he seemed okay.
But he wasn’t on the level. He was actually coming to town for some kind of medical reason. The suite looked like he had been caring for a someone who belonged in a burn unit. No-pressure dressings, yellow-bown goo. It was actually pretty scary to clean up.
So, from then on - we meet everybody and they tell us exactly who they are, married? divorced? looking for love? on vacation? thinking of relocating? visiting family? We know it or they don’t come to our house.
Yes my place is very arty, as am I. I am a photographer but I like to play music too.
I don’t want to host couples because: I rent out my very own cozy bed and it takes a lot for me to have strangers sleep in it, let alone having couples get frisky, ugh. It’s bad enough finding sticky tissues in the bin after young guys have stayed. I love sex and romance, but just not in my bed. A couple would talk, argue, laugh, make noise, but a single person stays silent and that’s what I want. I also don’t want to be out-numbered in my own house, it would make me feel like the guest/kid, and I’d lose the intimate connection I have with my guests when we talk one-on-one.
The picture over my bed is an original Biba poster from the 70’s, and was originally a hand coloured photo. The drapes are cheap red velvet curtains from Ikea
Yep, being outgoing and highly sensitive is a combo, I’m heading in that direction too. Doing Air has helped push me that way. I think it’s interesting that so many of us on here are HSP. I guess non-HSP hosts would never bother going on a forum to agonise over the precise wording of a review etc…!
Ugh, that’s scary. I hope you reported him to Airbnb. And it sounds like there might be a medical association or something you could report him to as well. Did you say anything to him directly?
Well, those are some very well articulated points.
Not much room for dispute there. It’s a bit rough having to rent out your own bed. Sorry about that.
I see, I don’t know what Biba is, and a search isn’t of much help. I sort of assumed it was a print of an actual “old” painting.
Yes, somehow I thought they might be red velvet…
Re: HSP, I’m not sure I’m a believer in personality categorization. Human beings are complicated creatures. They’re hard to label… I looked at the HSP traits. I fit some of them, but not others. I expect it would be the same way with anyone else.
I just concur with what others have said. I’m a total introvert - very much like @Yana_Agapova (Yana, you can relate to my hell of our fourth of July celebration - I was visiting family and we spontaneously ended up going to a beach that we heard had fireworks. It was MOBBED with kids running around and screaming, adults being loud, lots of smoke from grills, and a BAND playing and all I could hear was the bass thumping away. This was after 2 days of ‘camping’ with a lot of family including 5 very loud kids…Holy crap, I was so proud of myself by the end of the night that I didn’t just fall to my knees screaming…)
anyway…be polite, be kind - and if they are interesting and you are interested have a chat - otherwise, clean the place and hand over the key.
My daughter is also an introvert who has been known to hide when the guests are coming, lol. But she still loves us doing airbnb because she enjoys the cleaning and preparing the room, and making the breakfast table look nice.
I also have grown a lot hosting. I’ve learned to be more open-minded and more curious about why people do certain things - and less likely to react. I’ve learned a lot and really enjoyed meeting the different people.
It’s clearly important to take one’s time when making important decisions. The more important the decision, the more time required. And the internet is an important and valuable tool in doing so. I honestly cannot imagine how I lived my life before the net. Does anyone really not get that?
I spend a ton of time researching stuff. It’s (a) a giant pain (b) necessary. When I don’t do it (which sometimes happens), I often regret it. Of course, one has to draw the line somewhere.
Hmm. Your partner sounds a little bit unappreciative. I suppose you have pointed out to him that you are just trying to protect him, and yourself? It’s a scary world out there.
My conclusion is that he thinks I am “criticizing” his choices and decision making skills. So…instead of recognizing that I am more intuitive (and this has been proven) he would rather continue on the path of trusting everyone. But then again…that goes much deeper in life. Some people need to have their ego stroked.
When a person needs to have their ego stroked…they will never ever learn the lesson of being manipulated. Manipulators cling to people who need their ego stroked…
Yes, I can see where he is coming from. But try to explain that it isn’t about criticism. You are just watching out for him. But I can relate - I’ve been in that sort of dynamic myself. It’s frustrating when others can’t see things that are obvious to oneself.
