You're bored and want to help me with my review

First Draft:

“R is a sweet young man. He arrived two hours before our agreed upon check in time, while we were still preparing the space. He sat down at our dinner table, so we shared our meal with him and had an interesting conversation about the differences between the Brazilian and American justice systems. He seemed to have trouble with reading timetables.”


Ladies and gents, I know that last sentence needs work, but how do i express his general bewilderment with the world?

I wouldn’t have let him in, but I thought it was a box from Amazon (husband is on point when it comes to ordering me Xmas presents. 17 years of marriage will wear down the worst procrastinator) so I told the 9 yr old to answer the door since I was literally hauling the space heater down to make sure the porch was warm enough before the guest arrived at 3. But no, he was standing in my porch at 12:45 with 2 huge(!) suitcases explaining, in a genuinely surprised and befuddled way, that the hotel told him he had to be out by noon.

I was very relieved I had already sorted out the porch, so I could let him come in (note: I’ve added the “early/ late check in is available at a price” language to my house rules, but he booked before I added it)… And since he was happy once he had the wifi password, I left him to it.

I started cooking dinner at 5:15. About 5 minutes later he wandered in and sat down at the dining table… (in myyyyy seat) … at 5:55, he was still just sitting there, so i added a can of corn to the pot and asked him if he had dinner plans?

He said no.

… so I invited him to join us.

I don’t kick puppies and i don’t kick hungry people away from my dining table, but… I don’t include photos of the living room in the porch listing. They are my bargain guests and get a bed and a towel and bathroom access, and if they’re very nice the microwave.

He had originally said he was coming at 5, but it turned out he was confused and needed to come at 3. He also said he would be leaving at 5 am originally, but it turned out he was wrong about his flight and he’d be leaving closer to 9 am. All of which was fine, but I think future hosts might like a gentle warning.

I think I recommend him, because he was befuddled but not mean or greedy. He came with an older family friend, who had checked out the day before, and I think maybe this was the first time he had ever shifted for himself and expected everyone (hotels, too) to mother him.

I didn’t ask, but since he could afford to come to the US for a week-long seminar with his family friend the judge, I’m assuming he’s closer to the 1% than the 99%. (My main knowledge about Brazil is that they have a huge gap between the haves and have nots. I know you shouldn’t judge people by their luggage, but I’m guessing he’s a have.)

… All of which does not need to go into the review, but I thought you’d be entertained by the character portrait…

But what would help you as a host?

(He’s already written me a review, so there’s no reason for me to hold off. If he doesn’t give me 5 stars I will respond publicly. Dammit.)


Oh gosh…
So much off here. I wouldn’t have let him in at all, but you already knew someone here was going to say that. :rofl:Sitting at your table was … beyond rude. As for assuming he is befuddled…is he?? Or is he manipulative… don’t care what country you are from and what your cultural mores are…I mean how ignorant can you be??

But on to the review. Never assume your guest who is befuddled in your language is befuddled in theirs. He could have expected MORE and will just slam you. I think it helps to say to yourself, I will never see this person again, I need to be honest.

Guest arrived two hours early and seemed to expect to be fed. He was a nice young man, but if you rent to this guest, make sure he understands what to expect and your check in guidelines.

And again, are your rules and listing really really clear? What about your guest info PDF? You seem to be getting a constant stream of problem guests?


I’d keep it short and simple. The first sentence is enough of a warning to other hosts. I wouldn’t go into all that detail. I’m not sure about recommending him though. I just had someone Instant book for today. They only had one review and it was not glowing. It said the guest left the place messy and she has 3.5 stars. Yet, the host recommended her and now I get her. I already messaged her hours ago to see what time she is arriving and she hasn’t answered yet. Another bad sign. It’s only for one night though.

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I want to know he arrived early and that he intruded on dinner. The problem with your space is that people are in the common area. It’s hard to make something off limits without the physical barriers. I thought you’d decided against renting out the porch in winter?

Same here for last night. But it’s instant book so…gotta deal with it.

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Is he young-ish (early 20s)? Is this his first AirBnB experience? If so, I’d tend to give him the benefit of the doubt (befuddled rather than manipulative). And go with something similar to your first draft. As a host I’d like to know he showed up early, but as a guest he maybe didn’t know better. Air marketing can come across as a “be part of the family!” experience, and my family shows up whenever they damn well want (which is why I keep the doors locked). I hope you let him help you out with the dishes?!



You’re getting a lot of good advice so I’ll just say, thanks for the interesting (and entertaining!) read.

Your guest sat down, uninvited, for dinner…so you just “added a can of corn to the pot”… :grin:


I see where you want to straddle that line between “What a jerk” and “Nice kid, a little confused.” How about “Mr. Guest arrived 2 hours before check-in time and checked out later than originally scheduled but within the check-out window. He was tidy and friendly.” (If the latter is true!) That should be enough to warn hosts who don’t want to deal with that sort of thing (lookin’ at you Kona) I wouldn’t mention dinner because 1) theoretically you could have said “Hi, you’re early, please have a seat in the living room while my family finishes dinner – here’s a magazine,” which I understand you didn’t have time to do because you were completely blindsided and 2) thinking about that darn Airbnb ad that shows the urbane-looking (and undoubtedly witty) host whipping up something delicious-looking and about to clink wineglasses with his trendy apsrtment with his happy guests.


I had, but he booked the porch before I realized I needed the space. It’s blocked now.

I’ve got a list of things to do for next year (we go quiet mid November to March, so part of it is I’m dog tired at the end of our season…)


I know it’s after-the-fact, but for these kinds of situations (cuz it happens) just approach the guest and say ‘It’s so nice to meet you! You are a little early, but no worries. your room will be ready by 5 as planned. Meanwhile, there are a lot of great cafes and restaurants nearby where you can get something to eat, get oriented, etc. and then we’ll see you here at 5. Have fun!’


Yeah, that was what i was intending to say, but he just kept saying “is ok, is alright” as he pushed his luggage in. And my husband was away on a business trip and my kids were standing between us, so there were a lot of environmental reasons why I couldn’t be firm like I planned.

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(It might be significant that I’m not quite 5 feet tall, so no one is intimidated by me until I’ve actually used my ninja skills on them. And can you imagine the review? “The bed was a comfortable place to recuperate after the host kicked my kneecaps sideways.”)


Yeah…it kind of makes it hard with the language barrier. Awkward indeed.

Speaking of which, i think that is the best word to use in your review…if you haven’t written it yet. ‘Hosting guest x was awkward, as he didn’t seem to understand boundaries. Could be cultural misunderstandings. in any case, i probably wouldn’t host him again.’ And, make sure he gets a thumbs down.


I’m sitting here smothering my laugh and snorts because someone is in the next room taking a siesta. My insides are hurting. You are tooo funny.


It might also be significant that you’re a woman. All over the world there are men who think they are entitled to literally and figuratively push women aside.


I’d be careful about the cultural misunderstanding phrase. In this day and age, that could get a review removed.

Ok, review posted.

I kept it to facts “did not communicate well beforehand, arrived 2 hours before agreed upon check in time, left the place reasonably tidy” and skipped adjectives because who knows.

I rushed to post my review because i wanted to see what he wrote… thank goodness for Google Translate, because in Portuguese what looks like “very aggressive” actually means “nice” which was his entire pubic review.


But hey, better than “very aggressive”. (I know where his kneecaps are. Just sayin)

Privately he slammed me for dust. Which, you know, I was working on when he arrived 2 hours early.

How come whenever I try to snooze my listing, Airbnb is having a server issue? I find this suspicious.


Oh gosh !:open_mouth:
But good to know he left you a “very nice” as his review.

Would make me very resentful of letting him in early and giving him free dinner- what a jerk, regardless of how much dust you had. I would certainly send him a message on the Airbnb platform telling exactly how rude and ungrateful this makes him appear.


I knew it. He would slam you. I knew it. Little ungrateful brat.
Just the review left right away gave it away.
Pushed in hours early, sat down at your table, not so subtly demanding to be fed and then cracks you on dust. What the heck!!!

Glad you did it! Told the truth!

Guests, ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


(Having “nice” as “his entire pubic review” is noteworthy.) … :crazy_face:

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