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Wondering how others hosts would handle - discrimination issue


Back story, I accepted a 3rd party booking made by a young lady for her senior and not tech savvy parents. So obviously, it’s the young lady’s Air account I would be leaving feedback on.

I rent two separate bedroom/bath suites in my owner occupied home, one is upstairs and one is downstairs.

Had two sets of guests check in yesterday, the seniors and downstairs guests who happen to be black. This morning, the seniors come down at 5:45 AM. My husband was up, and engaged them in what he tried to keep quiet, conversation. They were from the state where my husband went to college so they had a commonality to converse about. Well, male guest starts talking, LOUDLY, about his experience in said state. His conversation got louder as he started talking about how BLACK the lower class neighborhood was when he was there. My husband desperately started trying to steer the conversation in a different direction (and he didn’t even know our downstairs guests are black), but the upstairs guest was on a rant and wouldn’t stop. OMFG.

I will be apologizing profusely to the downstairs guests when I see them, first to apologize for the level of noise at 6AM and then for the appalling behavior of the other guest.

I am wondering what kind of review any of you might leave for the daughter of the racists. And no, though the racists were delighted with our Airbnb and want to come back, I don’t really want them in my home again.


This is a bit of a pickle. If you say that the guests are a third-party booking then you’ve admitted you’ve violated TOS by accepting them. That’s the only conundrum I see. Who cares if you thumbs-down the daughter. That was her risk for booking for her parents.


I agree with @TuMo. Your issue has nothing to do with your guests and everything to do with the fact that you accepted a third party booking. The third party guests ‘aren’t there’ as far as Airbnb is concerned, the daughter is. Your review, if indeed you choose to leave one for the sake of other hosts, should merely say’ ‘xxx did not stay with us therefore I can’t review her’. Of course, this will be telling all and sundry that you accepted a third party booking…


We made the mistake of accepting a third party booking once too. We actually didn’t know we had done it at first because there was a language barrier. They brought more kids than what they disclosed and after the reservation ended, the person who booked called my boyfriend ‘uneducated’ for making them pay $100 extra after the reservation started. We just reviewed him and mentioned all the problems the group caused.


I’ve been in the position of accepting a 3rd party booking unknowingly in the past as well, though that being said, I did accept this one, and I’ve done the same thing, for the exact same reason (older folks who are baffled by the interwebz) if the younger folks doing the booking are forthright and communicative.

And while on the subject of 3rd party bookings, yes, it’s against Air policy, but just see what happens when you try to get them to cancel one, depending on which bone head rep you end up speaking with. As I related in another topic not too long ago, the last time I tried to do that, the rep first couldn’t figure out what I was trying to tell him, so accused me of trying to circumvent Airbnb and threatened to close my account. Once he figured out what I was talking about, he was combative and wanted to know why I wasn’t comfortable and wanted to cancel the reservation. The hassle of dealing with Airbnb CS is often the greater of two evils, and I supposedly get the Superhost line.

But @jaquo and @TuMo are right, I can’t really leave a review. After the review period is over, I may contact the guest through Air’s message system and tell her that her parents will not do well as Air travelers if they continue to spout their racist views.


This is a good reminder of why third party bookings are a bad idea: inability to review the guest directly. At the very least I would leave private feedback letting the daughter know that you were uncomfortable and embarrassed. Also tell her that her parents aren’t welcome to return. If we don’t start naming it and shaming it, it’s not going away. There is far too much tolerance of this racist nonsense already.


I agree with K9 about leaving her private feedback for the daughter, word for word. If you state in the public part that the guest did not stay, this does not necessarily indicate you accepted a third party booking. I have had guests who I said I couldn’t review because they didn’t arrive; one had left his passport at home in Germany. No ferry for them. I was able to say that communication was very good throughout.


Give a thumbs down for the daughter. She must know what her parents are like. At least that will come up on her record and stop her instant booking in many circumstances. Because it’s a 3rd party booking just damn with faint praise.


I think you should review. The daughter needs to be accountable for her parents. You don’t need to mention the third-party booking; just speak of “the guests” without naming.


you don’t apologize for the comments made- apologize for the noise. if they say the person is a racist then you can day that when you book you have no idea what kind of a person they really are, and leave it at that. and, just tell those folks that you’re uncomfortable with their making disparaging remarks about others, and you’d appreciate it if they didn’t. then just smile.


I totally understand that third party bookings are not the greatest idea. I have had one canceled by BnB because the son thought that WE should call his dad to get all the arrival information we needed: No, No, NOOOOOO.
We have accepted another third party booking from a mom for her two sons (14yo and 17yo, the surfers) who in the end where great guests and who will be returning in a week.
The fact remains, some people just don’t know how to manage the whole AirBnB thing. Suppose that the daughter would have made her parents an account and handled the whole situation. OK, in that case you could review the parents directly, but in the end what is the big difference?


Not knowing what generation these folks are actually from… are they considered to be racist, or just recounting their experience? Of course your husband could have have gestured to the guest shh…“let’s go outside right now” so I can tell you something right now. That would have nipped it in the bud. Maybe that opportunity wasn’t there at the moment. Only you will know that.

I think a lot of people from different backgrounds state things but maybe they aren’t racist. Maybe your guests really were…since you didn’t share the details and don’t expect you to.

I don’t know…I think politely calling them out would be enough, and if they are now aware that you also welcome black guests…then the ball is in their court. It will be up to them to decide that they will stay at your place again - knowing that you accept black guests too.


How about we quit making excuses for racists? It’s wrong.

It’s 2018. Reading this and I feel like it’s 1974 again. We all accept black guests or should.

You should be ashamed but I know you’re not.


Excuse me. My current guests who left today were a black family with their kid and grandparents…five guests. I was only trying to bring in a different perspective because I do know how some of my grandparents and others in rural parts act and behave.

I was trying to be helpful. Trying to help racism sometimes comes from talking to people, and not scolding them. That’s the only point I was trying to make. I grew up with a Grandma who is still alive and when I visited New Orleans as a kid, she grabbed my arms to not walk down the aisle because a black person was walking there.

Even though as a child, I told her it was wrong…it didn’t necessarily matter. She is now 92, and doesn’t have the same attitude - as it is me now walking her down the aisle. And she immigrated from Nicaragua so I always thought it humorous that someone who came to this country and couldn’t speak the language, would want to discriminate against others. But it’s more in depth than that.

And my Italian grandfather was a racist…and I thought he was crazy. Sometimes things are generational. I was trying to put out my perspective.

So please…pass judgment on someone else.


Yeah, and I know what that is.

In addition to you? I surely will.


I think racists like that should be banned from the platform. We also need to protect hosts of colour from racist guests. There could be a special reservation for racists to holiday on perhaps.


The guests should have been called out on why exactly it was relevant that the neighbourhood was black. I was just talking to a (white) friend of mine this evening who’s thinking of moving. Her neighbour said to her she wished she would stay because she was fed up with Asians buying up all the big houses (we have many well off Indians etc in the UK). You know that really reminded me of the kind of things the Nazis said about the Jews before the 2nd world war. That kind of stuff really needs to be nipped in the bud. Racism in a community meant to be based on international travel? I don’t think so.


I never got the impression that @Chloe neighborhood was black. Even if it is…I truly was trying to offer a different perspective since she mentioned the guy talking about the past was talking about “the blacks in the old district.” I don’t know her age, and I didn’t know their age and background. Seriously folks…I was trying to be impartial. If the people are truly racist then go for some bad review. But sometimes we need to consider backgrounds and the conversation. That’s all I was mentioning. It’s all good folks…:grinning:


Indeed the guests were talking about another neighbourhood but it was still unacceptable for them to bring up the blackness of that neighbourhood in a negative way. Making negative generalisations about people on the basis of colour is the bedrock of racism. Whatever their age or background racists need to be challenged, not only to protect people of colour but also to protect everyone from shifts towards fascism. We’re either moving forward or backwards. No point in millions dying in the war just so racists can spout their crap.


Actually, I totally understood what @cabinhost was trying to convey and didn’t read racism into it. My own father lived and worked overseas his entire life, throughout the civil liberties period in the US and was truly caught in a time warp when he retired here in California, I was speechless at the racists comments that would come out of his mouth. Also not defending the practice, only that I understand generational differences.

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