I’m wondering what kind of limitations if any people have when they rent a room out in their home. I’ve been doing this for a couple months now and I’ve had about eight guess. Most people stay for two nights Max and are here to visit the community for a job interview or something. I just booked the guy who’s staying for a week and says that he’s just here to work locally and then move on. My rules state that the room is small but it does have a bed and a comfortable lounge chair and I said that you know a community rooms that are available include use of the kitchen, the TV room in the basement, and to sit at the kitchen table and eat. There is a living space that my daughter and I sit in that is basically two chairs that are very comfortable. I love sitting in my recliner and I treasure it. Anyway, my current guest is here for a week and he’s acting like he owns the place. He is rearranged things in my refrigerator and moved carpet around in the common living area and when I came back from being gone all day, he was sitting in my treasure recliner. He moved and then went and sat outside on the deck which is fine but I just feel like I’ve had to constantly remind him of what the shared spaces. Everyone else has always just stayed in their room and going out visited the community and it’s just odd cuz I feel like I have a new roommate without my consent. Should I amend my rules to state that they must stay in the rented room and only come out to use the kitchen or bathroom? That’s what I’m feeling I need to do. But it seems like it’s just really rude. I’m learning as I go and I don’t want to be a jerk about it but I’m such an introvert this is just a lot of change for me. Thanks for your insights
This is tough. Introverts sharing spaces with strangers. You can’t help but come off as rude when you demand your own space.
I started Airbnb as a small guest room (10x11 ft) down the hall and shared space. Use my grill, back patio, maybe even my garage for your loaded up auto. That got old real quick. One dude sitting in my living space at a desk watching something on his computer with headphones and asking me what I was doing that day every time I passed through the space had me hiding out in my room. He was only here 3 nights.
Luckily I own my home and was able to remodel to put a bathroom and separate entrance and it’s gone great since. You probably need to put a shorter limit on days they can stay, say no kitchen access and put other things in the listing to discourage people from spending a lot of time in your space.
I am not clear. Is the guest using spaces that are off limits? Is there a reason he is rearranging things in your fridge instead of using his own shelf space?
He has his own shelf space but felt the need to organize my area. Pissed me off.
You pointed out his shelf and he decided to reorganize your fridge? Do all of his items fit on one shelf?
Thanks. I’m amending my listing to 4 nights max and limiting the shared space to kitchen and dining room. No one sits in my recliner lol. My house is small and the rented room has a comfy lounge chair for guests. I think he’s lonely but has a car so not clear why he’s not sightseeing. He’s asking too many personal questions about where I’m going etc and commented my daughter was sleeping alot which is none of his business. I sure learned my lesson not to allow rentals more than a few nights. He’s creeping me out asking what I’m doing etc. And leaving his shoes outside his room in kitchen like he lives here. Books on kitchen table. Not cool.
Yep fit just fine. With room to spare. He’s actimg like a roommate might
I don’t want to be alarmist or sexist but sadly there is a very real, very measurable problem with men. Of course the vast majority of men are fine. For the 1.5 years I had people booking the room down the hall I had no real problems only annoyances. However, I am only responsible for myself, not a daughter.
I would take several steps. First, for future guests, be vague about it being you and a daughter. Put a profile pic with a man in it. You can ask for female only guests. Yes, it’s discrimination but Airbnb allows it for the obvious reasons. Put locks on your and your daughter’s bedroom doors and use them, even when you are out for the day. You don’t want him going through your things. Only accept guests with prior good reviews.
If this guy does anything else creepy, cancel his reservation.
I’d be freaked if this guy made a comment on my daughter sleeping. Like it’s on his mind, why?
I might be on the phone to Air saying you need them to cancel the reservation as it’s not feeling right.
When new guests come, take them on a short tour and tell them, these spots are available to guests and these are off limits to guests and show them the recliner. You could even put it in the house rules. Honestly, you don’t need to share your kitchen either. He’s renting a room, not an apartment. Lots of hosts start out with kitchen use and remove it due to issues. I would. They don’t need to be using your kitchen.
I have never done home sharing but I think there are those hosts who don’t give access to anything but the room. Remove the kitchen and you will be happier.
Thanks for the tips. I have considered only booking to women but am concerned I would lose out of lots of bookings by cutting out hand the population. We have locks on our bedroom doors and she locks hers at night but I need mine open for the cats to go in and out.
Since the time of my original post he asked if I have a boyfriend and I said I am independent and not interested in dating anyone. He mentioned he wants to stay in my neighborhood for another week but thankfully the room is booked for the next few days after he leaves, to a woman, and I blocked off all of May temporarily so he can’t book with me if he tries.
I will give serious thought to only renting to women and adding a guy to my profile picture although I am loathe to do do. I hate the thought of needing a fucking man to scare off other men. So tribal and patriarchal and should be unnecessary.
Isn’t that the truth?
I know! Right there with you. And I understand not wanting to lose out on bookings or even to unfairly paint all men with the same broad brush. But…daughter.
Ok, that’s it. No way. Not his business. There are people in my life I’ve known for years and never asked if they had a significant other. If you are disinclined to get him out now, which is what I would do, after he checks out you can block him. Go to his profile click report-> something else-> and then block. Then to book your place he would have to make a new profile.
What if he was just asking out if curiosity? How do I actually get him out if I do? Do I call the police first? I really hate to do this especially if I am overreacting. But my daughter suffered a trauma last night. She’s 22 and was lunched in the face by a friend /coworker who wanted to socialize. It’s a long story but she has anxiety and needed to leave and this woman not only didn’t let her, she got angry and gave her a black eye. I spent the day at the police station and emergency room to come home to the guest sitting out on my deck like he lives here
Another thing I learned is to either restrict access to bathroom and bedroom only or to be home when they check in so I can give tour designating what’s shared versus not shared space. This guy acts like the whole house is his to use for the week.
I use “man” always to my benefit. Don’t assume you are succumbing. Take advantage of your woman benefits too. Like…announcing you are on your period and last time the cops almost had to take you to the psych ward. Would your guest get a hint?
It may be innocent but I am not liking the BF question. That’s getting too invasive and personal.
If it were me I would call Air first. Open a case and see if they will be able to cancel it for you. Maybe have a male friend come over and stay for a while. I’m not liking the direction this is going.
Don’t call the police yet. Call a male friend or neighbor and then call Air. No amount of money is worth something like this. I agree with K9, get him out now.
I hate the thought of needing a fucking man to scare off other men. So tribal and patriarchal and should be unnecessary.
You go girl! I tell my daughters the same thing.
It’s hard to say what you should do. We weren’t there and don’t know the fellow. No you shouldn’t be calling the police at this point but I would be alert, be careful and consider calling Airbnb about re-homing him. Use the daughter’s assault as an excuse. Just make sure they aren’t going to penalize you. It sounds like you need more help than a forum can offer.
I’m so worried about my daughter and the stress that could accompany having to throw this guy out. She’s already crying and upset about getting a black eye from a friend. I hate this and wish I didn’t need to rent on air bnb for money. I hate it
This is the upsetting thing. The boy-man-child is secondary. Who the hell hits a friend? My life has been full of complicated relationships, but I have never had a black eye.
My daughter is very trusting and works part time as a waitress. Coworker called her to talk about work shit and they met up for dinner decided to go out for a drink. Stopped at the woman’s apt and left her keys there. Dumb move I told her never to leave her keys at someone’s house and go out. Long story short, woman proceeded to get drunk, drunk guy at bar got too friendly with my daughter and made her want to leave, friend said no I’m not leaving too bad about your keys and got mad. And punched her in the face. Total change of personality. Mean drunk. Lessons learned big time.