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Welcoming in person, what phrases do you use? What cringey sentence has kept you awake at night?


#1

I have a big room and a small room, and I always say “who’s gonna fight for the big room then?!” like its bloomin’ pantomime season. It doesn’t even really makes sense, but I hear myself saying it every time I open the door to the big room. More Alan Partridge than Basil Fawlty
#lighthearted


#2

“Which room do you prefer.” (If both are available)

Save yourself the embarrassment by assigning a particular room to a particular guest before they arrive. Then you always say “This is your room, I hope you enjoy your stay. Let me know if you need anything.”


#3

I’m not after coaching, I’m hoping to hear some stories :wink:
(also, the 2 rooms are let to groups of four, would be cheeky monkey to tell them which rooms are whose)


#4

Hello and introduce them to the dog. Or Co Host as we call it on ABB.


#5

oh go on then


#6

What a cutie-lootie!! [And your nail color isn’t bad either.]


#7

I have a similar standard spiel…“I’ll give you the 10 cent tour and get out of your hair”… “please no chin-ups on the overhead boiler pipes. Haha”. …not even funny, but I say it every time, and cringe every time I hear myself. I guess I’m just too lazy to come up with something else to say.


#8

Oh dear, I hate me so much when I say ‘and here’s the original MCM kitchen. It dates from 1949 - it’s even older than I am’. Ha ha ha. (Yuk yuk yuk).

It is older than I am (of course) but it would be lovely if some guest would say ‘my goodness, it’s that is so many years older than you!’

They never do though!


#9

I say “l’ll leave you to fight over who has which room”, only to find one group doing exactly that and I ended up mediating. One couple, one friend, so the friend gets the smaller room. Simples. They argued over breakfast about about anything and everything, so I gave them an itinerary of places to visit etc. They were too tired to continue arguing by the time they came back. I felt most matronly.


#10

“This is the kitchen … it’s, er, … a kitchen.” (As they probably could have guessed from the fridge, stove, sink, coffee maker etc.)


#11

oh god yeah. “And this is the bedroom…” No sher, Shitlock!


#12

" Meet George the Cat". He looks like a cat, and howls like a cat. Why don’t I ever simply say “meet George”.


#13

Not a personal greeting faux pas, but my canned message 3 days before arrival starts out, "Dear X, your unique keycode is XXXX . . .
You knew it would happen eventually, I just addressed George, my upcoming guest, as “X” and gave him the secret XXXX keycode.


#14

This is the bidet attachment. Don’t stand in front of the toilet and turn it on experimentally or you’ll get sprayed in the face. As happened to one guest.


#15

Fortunately George has a sense of humor, said it made him feel like a spy infiltrating Langley (US CIA headquarters which is nearby). I’ve written “Welcome Agent X” on the whiteboard.


#16

one more: When I first open the door, they always say “are you Nick?”, and I always reply “yeah! How did you guess?”, then I worry that it seemed passive aggressive/downright sarcastic


#17

Please don’t put anything other than toilet paper in the toilet and don’t forget to keep the shower curtain inside the shower tray. How I wish I didn’t have to say these things, it makes me feel like such a drudge. Mind you drudge and grudge galore on the times guests have stained the ceiling below with flooding or I have had to call the Saniflo engineer out!


#18

“Hi. Nice to meet you. You seem to have put on weight compared to your profile pic”

(@Barns, you asked for cringey!)


#19

@Astaire, Tell me you didn’t say really say that?! That would have been one star from me then … especially if it was true!


#20

I once blurted out to a newly-arrived guest ‘Oh you’re so pretty! Your profile photo is horrible’. Luckily she paid more attention to the first part of what I’d said rather than the second.


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