There’s an insect where I live that’s one of the scariest bugs you’d ever see. Whip-tail scorpion it’s called. Get as big as a large man’s spread-out hand. But not a scorpion at all- harmless and quite shy. They prefer darkness, so there’s a lot in my shed, but you occasionally see one elsewhere. I actually have a dead one in a jar to show my guests so I can tell them not to flip out if they see one, because they are harmless.
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Made famous in this scene
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No I did not realize you have AC, I did not read through all the comments. I would respond along the lines of:
So sorry you did not pay attention during the tiny tiki tour and missed the instructions on the AC I thank you for your review hopefully future guests will learn from your error and pay attention during the tiny tiki tour.
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Cool. I ever saw any of the Harry Potter movies. That’s a small one 
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A vinegaroon!! We had those in Texas growing up.
I love that you have one in a jar to show guests. You have my 5 stars already.
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Nah. Made famous by anyone who’s ever run into one. It’s basically a spiritual event if you aren’t expecting it 
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My neighbor found a albino one in his shed one day. Bright snow white. A restaurant owner here had one in a frame on the wall that was as big as a dinner plate.
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Unfortunately my review of them is: Margie and her husband are great guests with great communication, very clean, respectful to the hideaway, and we wish them and their new little one great happiness!
I probably should have known a bad review was coming at set her up with a bad review to warn fellow hosts…
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HEY RRR This is perfection in a response!!!
I used to cook the cane spiders if they were dumb enough to be spotted in my oven in Maui. They get good sized maybe 6". Bella has been know to get a tarantula or 2 around here!
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How do roasted cane spiders taste?
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It probably makes you feel better right now and I totally get that, but I would avoid a host who was so openly hostile, it sounds catty at least:
I think there’s a better way of saying it without sullying yourself, just IMO.
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Well I didn’t eat them, they had absorbed too much gas .
My specialty was Lilikoi Chiffon Pie.
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The few times I have felt a need to respond to a review, to correct a misstatement by a guest I make sure to respond to all the reviews I can before and after so it does not seem I just responded to the review with incorrect information. Seems there are always a few I can respond to.
RR
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Like 
of course.
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I see RRR>>> just do the responses as needed all around the bad review?? i.e. " Thank you for the Icy A/c Compliment"
I do not usually respond to reviews. I did at the beginning, but no longer.
In this case, (if I didn’t respond to the others nearby) it might really stand out and only if the reader made it to the bottom of her review would they then see the indented column of my review… is this correct? or would they see it before getting to the bottom of guests review…
I think you can respond to all the reviews for the last 14 days, not sure but that would be 5ish for me. then you can respond to the next few as well.
RR
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I just did a public response to 3 of the latest so I can do her when I figure out what to say… Thank you everybody 
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“Thank your your interest in returning; It didn’t seem to be a good fit for you on your first visit and I think it would best for both of us, if you found an alternative location.” 
The break from that perfect 5.0 is like the first ding on a new car 
. Terribly frustrating, but as we do with the car, accept it, and move on.
Most prospective guests reading that review will read between the lines especially when they see your prior reviews.
Regarding the AC, I have similar fear of late, with the unusual amount of AirBNB guests booking my guest house in July / August, and with temperatures above 110, anyone trying to get the AC to anything below low 70’s F, is going to be disappointed. I try to set expectations especially when it’s so ‘F’ng hot. 
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I love your picture!
Our house on a hot day at best is under 86 degrees. The trailer is likely cooler than that, with a/c on, unless it is over 105, which it was not, but will be a few times very soon in the next 60 days!!!
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