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Do not allow your teenage daughters to go to bed in my white Egyptian cotton bedding when they have just applied artificial tan.
If you run out of toilet paper do not use the paper napkins as a substitute. This is an apartment building and you will clog the pipes for 19 apartments.
Do not liberally apply suntan oil and the lie directly on the mattress of the sunbed, lie on your provided beach towel.
Do not glue together a broken dinner plate as hot food will cause the glue to melt and the food will end up either on the floor or in your lap.
Do not tune TV and radio to Polish stations and forget to retune.
The furniture is that way for a reason do not move it.
I could go on. In 4 years I have had to replace dining chairs twice- why how. I have never broken a duning chair in my life.
This is what I say about all the sheets I’ve had ruined. 11 guests and I’ve gone through three sets. I am currently using a set on my bed that I’ve had for 8 years that still looks great with no stains. EIGHT YEARS AND NO STAINS! You hear that guests!!!
No it’s the dreaded Proactive and other benzoyl peroxide’containing products. Ruins towels, sheets and anything else it comes in contact with like a spill on an area rug, carpet, comforters etc. etc. HATE THAT CRAP!
I know these products are clearly marked that they bleach fabric if they come into contact. I stuck hundreds of labels on them over the years as a Pharmacist. So that is negligence on their part. I would bill them for it.
I’ve not written them down in house rules but I’ve had most of the above at some time or another.
I would like to add (but won’t) ‘please do not arrange to go away for a fun and frolicksome weekend of sun and sex with your sugar daddy/boyfriend/married lover if you have your period’. What is it with women these days???
One I never, ever thought I’d even dream, let alone think … ‘Please do not leave tomatoes under the ottoman.’
Please do not try to light the LED candles - use the handy switch on the bottom to turn them on.
No glitter. I never in my wildest imaginings ever thought as an adult I’d need a rule like that, but there it is.
And one that seems like common sense but isn’t - please turn on the hood fan when cooking/frying. I have a nest smoke alarm, and you would not believe the number of times I’ve been notified that “there is smoke in the flat!”. One guest set it off three times - even after being told to use the vent. Sigh…