Things I Never Thought I Would Have To Put in Print That Guests Have Done

If something happens twice, I put it in writing either as a small notice or in my information book.
These things would include

Please make sure to turn off the water in the shower and/or sinks. If left running, it will run our well dry and cause issues with our plumbing and appliances*

Please do not move the furniture.* Why? why would anybody move furniture from one room to another???

Anybody else have anything come up that astounds them?

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Please do not put charcoal briquettes in the gas BBQ and light it. Thank you.

Please do not drag your salty wetsuit through my house, rinse it in my bathtub and drag it out again. Thank you.

Please do not put pineapple rinds in the garbage disposal. Disposals that seize and need to be replaced will be charged to the guest.

Please do not move furniture. Furniture that is moved incorrectly can and will break.

Please do not hang wet beach towels on the vintage furniture.

I could go on… and on… and on… :rofl::rofl:

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Do not allow your teenage daughters to go to bed in my white Egyptian cotton bedding when they have just applied artificial tan.
If you run out of toilet paper do not use the paper napkins as a substitute. This is an apartment building and you will clog the pipes for 19 apartments.
Do not liberally apply suntan oil and the lie directly on the mattress of the sunbed, lie on your provided beach towel.
Do not glue together a broken dinner plate as hot food will cause the glue to melt and the food will end up either on the floor or in your lap.
Do not tune TV and radio to Polish stations and forget to retune.
The furniture is that way for a reason do not move it.
I could go on. In 4 years I have had to replace dining chairs twice- why how. I have never broken a duning chair in my life.

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This is what I say about all the sheets I’ve had ruined. 11 guests and I’ve gone through three sets. I am currently using a set on my bed that I’ve had for 8 years that still looks great with no stains. EIGHT YEARS AND NO STAINS! You hear that guests!!!

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Probably the dreaded artificial tan Bunny

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No it’s the dreaded Proactive and other benzoyl peroxide’containing products. Ruins towels, sheets and anything else it comes in contact with like a spill on an area rug, carpet, comforters etc. etc. HATE THAT CRAP!

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Let’s stick to the topic, rather than discuss the stains.

Share your craziest rule you have had to write! :rofl:

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I know these products are clearly marked that they bleach fabric if they come into contact. I stuck hundreds of labels on them over the years as a Pharmacist. So that is negligence on their part. I would bill them for it.

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but it’s a subject near and dear to my heart!

Okay… how about this:

“Please do not take furniture and bedding outside”
“Please do not bring patio furniture inside”

in other words: IF IT’S IN LEAVE IT IN AND IF IT’S OUT LEAVE IT OUT!

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Perfect!!!:laughing::laughing:

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Please do not use an acetylene or butylene torch on my wooden deck.
Please don’t leave your pets alone and unsupervised in my house for 15 hours.

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One of mine is: Please don’t feed the birds that land on the balcony from time to time. They can bring mites into the apartment and exposure to avian diseases.

I made it up … :laughing: … but the purpose was to eliminate bird crap.

My housecleaner thanks me.

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Please do not dye your hair and lay down in the bed while it’s dying.

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Please don’t leave your dirty pans, unwashed, in the oven. I will find them and charge an additional cleaning fee.

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NO WAY! That’s really nuts.

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No, that’s TRUE! The mites can be a big problem.

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I forgot that one my comment is they might look cute but what goes in inevitably comes out.

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I’ve not written them down in house rules but I’ve had most of the above at some time or another.

I would like to add (but won’t) ‘please do not arrange to go away for a fun and frolicksome weekend of sun and sex with your sugar daddy/boyfriend/married lover if you have your period’. What is it with women these days???

One I never, ever thought I’d even dream, let alone think … ‘Please do not leave tomatoes under the ottoman.’

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“Do not run the air conditioning with the windows open.”

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Please do not try to light the LED candles - use the handy switch on the bottom to turn them on.

No glitter. I never in my wildest imaginings ever thought as an adult I’d need a rule like that, but there it is.

And one that seems like common sense but isn’t - please turn on the hood fan when cooking/frying. I have a nest smoke alarm, and you would not believe the number of times I’ve been notified that “there is smoke in the flat!”. One guest set it off three times - even after being told to use the vent. Sigh…

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