we have a few like this in our first year of hosting…the two we had fall into the ultra petty and picky category, maybe they feel their real vocation (rather than vacation) in life is to host one of those TV programmes about hotels with the white gloves on checking every surface (and hey we do that as part of own quality check - but it is rubber gloves not cloth ones… 
)- and have a valued opinion that the host must jump to ad the world is on the edge of its seat to read. Our policy is simple - we do not write a review…better to say nothing on a review than start an e-mail ‘war’ with such people - the trend has been in the 2 cases we had that their opinions and unrealistic expectations are so entrenched - one wastes one time with them. They speak to us as if we are their servants who wait upon their every whim. We mark them up on our own sheet as ‘not again’. I know in an ideal world we could share and be honest and find compromises - sadly some folks just are immovable. So one awaits the day they go away. Have a current guest who is ‘upset’ - although he is not the one paying the hosting fee - because he cannot get multiple news feeds on the TV menu and it was not set up to allow him to do it with “one simple click”…I get it that we are all fearful of that one scathing review…it happens and if someone has that mindset then it is a ‘cost of doing this business’. As much as it truly grates - being a host one becomes bottom of the food-chain and is prey to the few unpleasant folks, or, those who want everything thrown in for free…thankfully these types are the exception yet can cause one to potentially burn-up a load of emotional energy. Maybe they get their kicks that way, maybe no one ever sat them down and had a frank discussion with them…as a host though that type of therapy is not part of the offering…
There’s another way.
Write an honest review but wait to post it close to the end of the 14 day review period, so that there is little or no time for the guest to respond publicly.
If the guest engages you in an ‘e-mail war’ as you say, you can block the guest on the platform from sending you those emails.
By writing the review you both warn future Hosts and also demonstrate to the guest that there is accountability and advise them of their inappropriate behavior.
Since you value frank discussions, let me urge you to revisit your “valued” opinion. I’m not sure who has assigned this value to your opinion, I certainly don’t value it. It is essential that you write an honest and unemotional review for every guest, especially the undesirable guest.
When a host refuses to write a review out of their own selfish laziness, this facilitates the continued use of Airbnb by undesirable guests. In some areas this is called “pass the trash.” Because you won’t write a review, another host is not forewarned and can’t either decline the request, cancel the instant book reservation or take mitigating steps to deal with their issues.
The reason you give for not writing a review is this: “better to say nothing on a review than start an e-mail ‘war’ with such people - the trend has been in the 2 cases we had that their opinions and unrealistic expectations are so entrenched - one wastes one time with them.”
I don’t understand this on two accounts. First, why does this start an email war? You leave a review that posts at the end of 14 days or when they leave theirs, whichever comes first. They read said review and start messaging you. You don’t reply. End of story. If an email war starts, you started it. If they continue to harasses you, report them to Airbnb and get them blocked. Second, a trend is 2 cases? Of how many guests and in how long of a time period? I’ve had over 1000 guests over 9 years in my one guest suite and have not even had two situations of the kind you describe.
I have my own valued opinion that hosts who refuse this most basic of host responsibilities are rewarded in a karmic sense and get a disproportionate share of unpleasant guests.
We had one that was upset we ran out of coffee beans and couldn’t find more (no Amazon or Starbucks nearby). Provided them unlimited ground coffee but she was annoyed we couldn’t get whole beans. Left us a three-star review with vague complaints.
Fortunately, the next few sets of guests all left glowing five-star reviews. I’ve heard an occasional non-five star review actually helps - all perfect scores looks like they are fake or paid. Doesn’t seem to have hurt us - we’re booked out as well as I would expect to be.
So you mark them for yourself as “not again”, yet don’t care if other hosts also get stuck with these “never again” guests, because you failed to warn them.
What does “an ideal world” have to do with it? You just write an honest review, like other hosts do. And ignore any argumentative messages from the guests about it.
Hey Muddy - calm down and respect that we all have differing ways to approach this…I offered my approach to enhance the discussion not invite personal attacks.
Calm down? I can assure you I am not agitated. There was no “personal attack”. Your approach is not to warn other hosts about guests you wouldn’t want to host again, and hosts who have that approach do a disservice to their fellow hosts.
I fail to see how that “enhances the discussion”.
good bye… I am out of here - better things to do with my life!
…and another poster who did not get the exact answer / praise / agreement they expected leaves to troll another day…
So ironic. I guess no one ever sat them down and had a frank discussion with them.
I guess “that type of therapy” was not just not part of his offering, but also not welcome coming from anyone else.
Someone here recently observed that we all know how to be nice, when money’s involved. Sometimes, don’t you think, we can be too blunt?
Not sure if that works for me - I spend my days ‘massaging’ the guest experience, and look forward to my time here to be blunt and open and honest. In many cases, people come here looking to get validation for their ‘ideas’. I’m always going to be honest, no matter what the OP ‘wants’…
You do understand how that makes you seem?
I don’t think people with that attitude care how they seem. If they cared about some solidarity with other hosts, they wouldn’t be blowing off writing reviews to warn other hosts about guests they themselves would never welcome back, because somehow the possibilty of a guest who didn’t get a good review sending them a nasty message is far more important.
Absolutely. And some of these complainants go to Tom, the forum owner, who then scolds the moderators. It’s definitely one of the most unrewarding parts of this unpaid work. But this is the internet and what is said here is so mild compared to the less monitored parts of the internet that I just have to laugh.
When we had guests like this we would listen to their issues and reply with solutions nothing more different than that. It addresses their concerns and deals with what can be dealt with a puts unreasonable in perspective, such as, “I’m sorry if a dog somewhere in the distance is disturbing you but there is nothing I can do about that.”
A review we would leave would always be the same short lacking details - "Would not host again, unrealistic expectations’.
It’s honest and gets the point across, there will be other hosts who will feel the same about them and leave huge negative reviews about them over time, we never felt the need to be one of them, life is too short and there are too many great guests to enjoy to spend much time over guest like this who are the exception not the rule.
Here’s what I ended up writing:
“I would not host x and x again. While they did follow the rules and left things in good order, they have expectations that are not well suited to the Airbnb model. They had multiple complaints, including issues not related to my unit directly. After their stay they requested compensation. I have not received similar complaints before their stay or since.”
I posted an hour before the review period closed and I didn’t receive a review from them.
Thanks for all the good advice!
As a home share host who has the opportunity to converse casually with guests, I have heard that voiced from guests. “It seems like so many places have 5* ratings, it’s hard to believe.”
This gives me an opening to explain that while Airbnb tells guests that 4 stars means Good, and that their expectations were met, Airbnb tells hosts that an average below 4.7 means the host needs to pull up their socks, and that 4.8 is required to maintain Superhost status. Which is the only reason hosts get upset about less than 5* reviews, not because we all think our places are something fantastic.
Most guests are shocked to learn this, and it then makes sense to them.
Airbnb should really lower the “acceptable target” rating to 4*s, IMO. Superhost at 4.8 is fine, but a .1 rating difference between Superhost and “acceptable target” is just weird. And it stresses hosts out for no good reason.
Personally, I find blunt answers very helpful. I’ve only been hosting a little over two years, and when I have a problem or question, I’m on here almost immediately searching archives. If I can’t find the answer, I’ll post and yes, sometimes decisions I’ve made weren’t the smartest and I probably deserve to be called out for a dumb decision. But then experienced hosts from all over the world kindly offer better options and we all learn something.
So thank you Tom for making this forum available, and thank you to our moderators and other long-time posters, for spending time and offering your wisdom. I greatly appreciate it!