My Neighbors are Making Hosting Stressful!

Cute place! I stayed near Treme on my last visit to NOLA. I don’t like to stay in the Quarter when I visit and loved this area! I am book marking your place!

I have a sweet Vietnamese family living next door to my house. One of the family members is about 60 but has the mentality and curiosity of a 6 year old. I adore them all but also know that this man stops and stares at everyone coming into my house while he is outside. One of my first guests mentioned it. Now when I check people in, I mention that this man had a brain injury when he was a child, he is kind as can be and completely harmless. They are actually my favorite neighbors that I have ever had and I also tell my guests that!


It is an interesting problem. I’ve always (I hope) gotten on well with my neighbours. I tell guests not to play loud music or talk loudly late at night. Which they don’t. I live upstairs and would come down on them like a ton of bricks if they did. One of my neighbours is an awesome self taught classical guitar player from an ethnic group that is not always popular. Nonetheless my guests have told me how they have heard him playing at night and applauded when he finished. Those same neighbours are always friendly when they meet my guests over the fence.

My other neighbours, an older white couple, I have always gotten on with. Then last year they started getting really snarky about my cat pooping in their vege garden. So I got rid of the cat. It all went a bit pear shaped and I thought if we just left each other alone for a while it would sort itself out. But then my neighbour started making silly hand signals to my guests about me being gay. So I have planted a “neighbours be gone” hedge.

What can you do? Move? Ha ha they wish. I have talked about it to my other neighbours in our small community but the best they can offer is me apologising, which I already did.

One of my chickens went awol this morning in my bad neighbours garden. The guest offered to help me get her back. As he went up my neighbours drive she said “I don’t know you get off my property”. To his credit he replied “Sorry I was coming up to talk to you” and left. Anyway the chicken came home later.

I am sure my neighbours have checked out the local council regulations to see if they could complain but I am across all that. If I really thought my guests were a problem I would sort it out.

I should add that I found out her husband has cancer and so I don’t want to make their lives any worse. But they seem to want to make mine worse.

Did his diagnosis coincide with them turning on you? Or maybe even pre-diagnosis but he was symptomatic. I have found almost without exception that when people turn like that, it’s them, not you.

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We had ghastly neighbours for ten years. They moved into the cottage (not here) next door soon after we moved in and were friendly, sociable and good fun for the first year, to the extent that we even took them to our French house for New Year. During this “quiet” period, they often told us about their old neighbours of 16 years and their constant feud. In the Spring we started noticing some odd behaviours towards their neighbours on the other side, then they turned on us. Loud music full blast through the party wall, shouting abuse over the fence, trespassing,constantly chopping down shrubs between us on our side, including in front of other neighbours we were entertaining in the garden. On one occasion we returned from holiday to find our gas boiler vent pulled away from the wall; had we not heard strange noises from the boiler, we could have died of carbon monoxide poisoning. We couldn’t prove it was them however, but no one else had access to the vent. I had the police out a number of times; not interested, a civil matter. The Council Noise Abatement Officers served numerous notices but these are time limited, so they’d shut up until each had run out.

A colleague in mental health told me that their pattern of behaviour followed the path of people who are fine for a while but become increasingly paranoid, jealous and fixated on certain people, particularly neighbours, a pattern similar to stalking behaviours in some ways. We gave up eventually,after dreadful damage to my beloved garden, sold up and moved. On the day we left, he ran into our garden, danced around shouting “we won, we won”. It’s taken me four years to recover.


What a horrible story. I’m so glad nothing like this had ever happened to me. I’m afraid I might do something that would land me in jail.


Update I spoke to my neighbor and apparently my guests asked them for drugs. To make a long story short, my guests were in my house doing drugs that a friend of my neighbors’ sold to them. I just can’t right now! I feel betrayed on so many levels. :persevere:

Ho-lee-cow. Did these guests complain about the knock on the door during the night or did you just see it on the security cam?

Nope. They never mentioned it! I saw it on camera (my camera has audio). All this time I thought they were just being extremely nice by not mentioning it in their review or talking to me about it! I guess I was being a bit naive.

You must be feeling so dreadful right now.; my empathy and thoughts are on your way. What a ghastly thing to find out. I am so sorry,

I used to both live and work in an area of London (Brixton) that was where many people of Afro Caribbean heritage settled, including the first generation from the '50’s, called the Windrush generation. The UK "invited " people from the Caribbean to come over to work in the public sector post war to fill jobs such as nursing, and driving buses and trains for London Transport. The welcome they received was appalling, well documented in both the book and film “Small Island”. The area became so vibrant culturally, with a lovely market, food,music venues that it took off, then with white middle class dope heads moving in. It began to to be gentrified in the mid '80’s of course. I have lots of glorious stories, but have to go out right now. More tomorrow. One of the best times of my life! Chin up and take care x


I think the clinical term is “folie a deux”, minus the proper grammar en Francais. Again…

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Oh my goodness, this story is horrendous. I’m so sorry you had to go through this. Things could have ended up much worse, I’m glad you got out

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Those kinds of people need to stay out of NOLA. LOL.

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Most cops or most cops in NOLA? I think NOLA cops have other things to do. I was there 5 nights and went to quite a few neighborhoods from Lower 9th ward over to uptown. I don’t think I even remember seeing a cop.

I’m just guessing. The OP might know.

Thanks. I’m learning a lot for sure!

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I should add her two daughters died of cancer when young women, her first husband (their father) died of cancer and now her second husband has it. My view is to leave each other alone, I have no wish to make anyone’s life more difficult but that works both ways.

I never once thought to call the cops. There is a serious police shortage. They are literally trying to get citizens to file their own police reports for “minor” things such as robbery so they don’t have to come out! I’m pretty sure the guests would hear laughter in the background if they tried to call the cops about people smoking weed. :rofl:
Seriously though, this bothers me. I’ve never been exposed to this type of behavior and I feel this isn’t something I want to get used to. It bothers me to have illegal activity so close to home and be helpless to stop it.


It makes you despair for mankind that people can be so fixated and petty. As for befriending them and taking them on holiday to your place, as they say: no good deed goes unpunished.

Actually I think he was in chemo at the time. I didn’t actually find out until recently and he is now in remission. Mainly because I stay off the small village gossip vine as much as possible.

I left NOLA after Katrina and just moved back a few years ago. I had really gotten used to cops doing their job. I lived in Houston and really felt protected. My brother lives here in an affluent neighborhood. Some years ago a man was shot a few blocks away and collapsed a few doors down from his house. He said the first responders casually got out of the ambulance and carried him away with no sense of urgency. I love this city, but we really need to do better. :roll_eyes: