My home is a sex den

We’ve had our first 4 guest, and 2 of them I’m certain used it as a place to have sex. I’m cleaning up and the last guest had pulled the bed w/ attached headboard about 7 inches away from the wall, and in their private feedback complained that the other room was two close to theirs and could’ve posed some noise issues if it had been occupied. The too rooms don’t even share a wall, there’s about a 4 foot hallway between them. I am glad that he said it wouldn’t suit his future sexscapades privately though. The girl he was with was “18” and he was 20. She was a local, and he was from out of town. I think there is a chance that she wasn’t 18, but I didn’t check IDs, which maybe I should start doing.

The couple before them I think were having an affair, because the guy she brought with her totally wasn’t the guy that she is lovingly pictured with in her profile photo.

I know people are going to have sex in the rooms, and that’s fine but there’s something a little cringy about these types of guests. This is my home, not a cheap motel room, and pushing in the bed felt so cringy.

So far my ideas for filtering this are increasing prices (they have been set pretty low to get some first reviews, so this probably is partially my fault), or creating a minimum stay of 2 nights, but I’d rather not do that.

Would it be weird if I casually mentioned something about this in my listing to deter folks from using my home as a place just to have sex?


You know, that might be a turn off for future guests who are not looking to hook up. I wouldn’t say that in your listing. But I might say it in the rules… however,

I think your low prices are drawing this element, because it’s cheaper than the no tell motel. :laughing::triumph::weary::rage:
I like to describe the kind of guest I want.

My place is perfect for singles or couples who are self sufficient and courteous, and for those who are looking for a centrally located place for their island adventures.
It’s not suitable for anyone who wants to party as this is an extremely quiet area. Etc etc.

Raise the price way up. Make it more than the local sex motel.

You could possibly add something to the rules that are something along the lines of

This is my personal home and I ask that you treat it with respect. ID may be checked on anyone who looks under 20. Those who are found to be using my home to hook up here will be asked to leave immediately with no refunds.

But I honestly think if you raise your rate and you will solve this in a heartbeat.


I think as a host there are things we can do to try and make sure the guests we want stay with us.

Describe clearly in your listing what sort of guests will and won’t suit your property.

Remove Instant Book if you have it turned on and take the time to find out more about your guests , why they chose your listing and plans for their stay to help you decide whether to accept their booking.

Having a two night minimum will help.

And having prices similar to comparable properties.

I think mentioning something in your listing to deter casual sexual is quite cringy and would put me off staying with you.


It sounds as though you are renting out two rooms in the home at which you also reside. One would think that would be a major deterrent to most people. Perhaps your listing could be more clear about you and other people being around and seeing who is coming and going. Putting a diagram of your floorplan might help. Having a cleaning fee which make the room a bit more expensive for one night stays might be an option. I’m not one of those who thinks there’s a strong correlation between price and the type of guest one gets. I also haven’t have problems with the few local bookings I’ve had. If you’ve only had 4 guests that’s not enough to determine what kind of experiences you are going to have with airbnb. If you have instant book take it off until you get more experience.


I will be looking through my house papers today for a floor plan so it’s clear where the rooms are located.

I’ll have to add something along those lines, thanks. That sounds a lot better then “No sex meetups plz.”

Fortunately, we are booking single rooms during the slow time of year, and will be renting out the entire suite only for the other 8-9 months out of the year, which is more of a family sized accommodation.

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For me, it’s best if I focus on the service I’m providing and the guest is receiving. So, for this gent’s concern with noise, I might make sure that my listing clearly states the level of privacy the room provides with regard to noise. Something simple, to help the guest understand what it’s like at my place. One listing I saw indicated that conversations in the room could be heard in the hallway. Similarly, if you want the furniture to stay in place, just put it in your house rules. I wouldn’t like to find my bed moved.

I’ve only been hosting for about three months, and my approach is based on what I’ve learned in that limited time. I personally stay away from age- and activity-guessing. I might abet a criminal unawares, but I might insult perfectly decent people, too. It’s best for me to stay focused on my business with my guests. This is what works for me.

PS, just to keep this light in spirit, I’ll tell you that the first thing my husband does when he enters a hotel room is to remove his pants! People will do all sorts of weird stuff in your house. Make sure they adhere to your house rules, and they don’t damage your place or cause you unnecessary inconvenience. And I think raising your rates will help. Best wishes!


Can’t agree with you on this one @cricktbatty

Of course hosts should provide a good service, but any guest with an iota of common sense will know that if they are sharing with a host and other guests they won’t have complete privacy.

If you read the original post the host clearly states the other bedroom in question wasn’t even occupied and is in any case separate from the room the guest actually stayed in.

Nor do I agree a host should have to indicate in house rules, that large furniture items shouldn’t be moved. If you had to have house rules for every silly thing a guest might do in your house you will end up with a huge list.


Again, I only described what works for me. I respect that you disagree. But you might consider just letting me state my opinion, which was asked, rather than arguing immediately. Again, I respect that you disagree.


Lordy @cricktbatty.

How long would you have liked me to wait before expressing my opinion 1/2 hour? 2 hours? a day? I just happen to be on at the same time as you :slight_smile:

I am just giving my opinion based on my experience of being a host.

Of course! I just haven’t seen anyone else’s thoughts argued with immediately. I respect that you disagree.

Well let me say this, cricket. At three months you are but a mere babe. Come back and see us in three years and your tunes will no doubt change considerably. :laughing:


Helsinki was not arguing. She’s a long time member of the forum who sometimes is the only person to answer brand new members, such as yourself.


Look, I’ve been reading this forum regularly for about six months. I chose
to contribute today. I’m not sure what to make of the response I’m
getting. It does not feel at all welcoming or inclusive or anything that
I’m looking to enrich in my life. Perhaps I’m having an off day. I’ll
sleep on it. I wish you the best.

Well I am wondering why you chose to get defensive with the suggestions you were given? New members are always welcome here, but for some reason, the bloom goes off the rose when they start arguing immediately c with regular members who only mean to help.

Most of us have been doing this for a number of years. Sometimes our advice is intended to help new hosts stave off the actions of some bad bad guests.

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I’m sorry. I actually intended my last message as a pm; further evidence that I need to go back and read all of the forum information again. I will hold back. I sincerely wish you all well.

Absolutely do a reset and then come back and join us,
Have a look at the forum guidelines as well.

crickbatty is not the OP.

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No I know she wasn’t. She got defensive.

I chose to react because I saw my comments getting different treatment from other comments I have read. I made a suggestion, and that suggestion caused a great ruckus, which is a distraction to the stated purpose of this community. For that I am truly sorry.

Don’t apologize. I don’t think you really caused a ruckus. You stated your opinion, other people stated theirs and no one needs to get their feelings hurt. It’s the nature of internet forums and humans.

Frankly, I think you’re right. I think this forum can be a bit unwelcoming as you said. You’re not the first “new” member to express the same complaint. I’ve noticed we are a bit suspicious of “outsiders” just like other communities.

I’d explain it this way: you’ve lurked for months reading posts. You get to know us and get a feel for the forum. Then you publically post with that kind of familiarity (gosh we just met you and you’re already telling us about your pantless spouse!). So you know us but we don’t know you.

I’m sure we’ve run off a lot of people but if you stick around and give us a chance we can be supportive, funny, and helpful.

We veer off this quite a bit. We often talk politics to the stern consternation of many. So don’t blame yourself for this. In the same vein, it’s best not to take things too personally even if you see others doing so.