Agree, my version was a little OTT.
I was a bond trader in the open outcry trading pits in the 80s and usually the only woman on the big âsledsâ racing offshore.
Donât know if youâd survive the first bar⊠
Abso-fucking-lutely.
And I donât mind getting the coffee cups or cleaning the crumbs, really, Iâve done it before and I always ask guests if I can clean the water glasses and refill their water bottle in the morning. But it was the attitude that really got me. Absolutely ZFG for anyone else and no respect for my home.
I fed her when she didnât read my one sentence of âMake sure you eat in Tampa and itâs OK if you arrive late - NOTHING open past 9pm here.â When she hadnât replied to my offer to get her food for her first morning, I offered her the frozen healthy bread left behind by other guests. âI donât eat frozen bread,â I replied, âThatâs what the toasterâs for.â Next morning, sheâs 4+ slices in before Iâve fed the cat.
Weâre coming to Miami. You know all the good spots.
Sheâs still on m y last nerve. I need to meditate and pray for patience on this one. Your review is so polite. She wouldnât get it.
Guest broke every House Rule despite thrice-daily reminders - from expecting different check in/check out times; smoking on the no-smoking property; eating in the bedroom: and not cleaning up after herself. Dirty dishes left everywhere, empty wine bottle hidden in the closet, empty potato chip bags in the bedroom⊠The list goes on. This guest is NOT suited to a home share and in the ABB Host Code of âBetter Suited To A Hotel,â I would not host again.
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Youâre SUCH a tease!!!
Iâm cryingâŠ
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Ummm (timid voice), you know the audience for your reviews is not really the guest, who, trust me, is not going to change their ways, but is mainly other hosts, right? So we donât accidentally get stuck with this entitled glassbowl? (please donât hurt me, casailing!)
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I know itâs for hosts. Iâm trying to walk that fine line between where you are with such lovely language and where I am - All slow-simmering German/English temper now at a boil.
I hate feeling like this and I think what has me so upset and disappointed is that ABB CS sucked so badly and I had to put up with her or lose SH (yeah, not really caring), my calendar blocked, and losing the money. I mean if it meant losing SH and being able to re-book (busy busy season), then I would have taken the hit.
Thank you for your review. I think itâs a great start for me to tone down my âOMG this woman is a horror show!â
I even tried to get rid of her mid-stay citing the smoking, eating, and mess. No bueno.
My ex husband (#2, not #1 as #1 and I would cheerfully hide each othersâ bodies in a swamp, given the chance) calls me one of the kindest people he knows. I am kind, I just donât suffer fools and she was a ⊠grrrrâŠ
I fed this ungrateful be-yotch at 11 at night when she didnât pay attention to anything I wrote or said about the sidewalks rolling up at 9pm. I moved my office into my bedroom - across the entire house - to give her privacy while she WFH. She then moves her Slack call to the Lanai table outside my (glass) bedroom door and proceeds to YELL at her co-workers so loudly that MY clients hear her while talking to me. When she takes a break, I mosey into the kitchen and calmly say "Well, that sounds like youâre having a tough time, my clients send their sympathies. " She never batted an eye.
Fucker.
I mean if ABB would let me leave that one word review⊠sighâŠ
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Thanks! Iâm thinking that will be either the first or last sentence. Itâs funny yet serious and if people read my reviews about my cat, then theyâll know ⊠because Bella likes almost everyone.
I truly think my dogs can be better judges of people than I am sometimes.
If a review said, âEven my dog (cat) didnât like themâŠâ. I would NEVER rent to that guest ever and probably try to block them from messaging. It would be the death toll for all future rentals to that person. BOOM it is finished forever!
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I think I have the last minute review. Thoughts? @aelilya @JohnF @JDD @muddy @dpfromva and the rest of you cheerfully opinionated folks:
Guest repeatedly broke House Rules and had poor communication skills. We keep it really simple â check in and check out times; clean up after yourself in the kitchen; no food in the bedrooms; and no smoking. Flagrantly ignored repeated polite requests to abide by said rules. Even the cat didnât like her. Better suited to a hotel.
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Get it from them, Iâd use way too many âfucksâ etc.
JF
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Thatâs why Iâm venting on this forum.
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Itâs good!
Youâre probably doing this ⊠but just in case, definitely use her name.
I personally would like some YELLING caps. Why? Because âthatâs all you had to sayâ and sheâd be blacklisted for me, so I wouldnât want to miss the deal killers.
A tiny tweak or two/removed some wordsâŠtake or leave as yours is good & these are just âpreferencesâ:
âSuzy communicated poorly, ignored checkin/checkout times and REPEATEDLY BROKE house rules,. Itâs simple - clean up after yourself; no food in the bedroom; and NO SMOKING. Flagrantly ignored several polite requests to abide by these rules; NOT a good house guest.â
<edited out cat comment per @JohnF suggestion>
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Yes, thatâs pretty standard. Iâll often even tell my guests if I see them start to wash out their coffee cup and cereal bowl before heading off to the beach, âOh, you can just leave it- as you can see, I have dishes of my own to wash- one more cup and bowl is no big deal- go enjoy yourselfâ. And my guests will sometimes wash my dishes as well, when they are doing theirs.
But Iâve read enough posts by hosts who say they donât really expect guests to do any clean-up, that I can see a guest having all 5* ratings even if they left a huge pile of dirty dishes in the sink and a stovetop swimming in grease.
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Before the pandemic guests would sometimes come into my part of the house to meet the dogs. Iâve given reviews that said âthe dogs loved them so you know they are good people.â
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Enough to get it bombed. You canât speak for the cat, even though we know you do
JF
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I wondered about that. Glad you brought it up. I think youâre right 
If itâs important to @casailinglady to say something about it, is there a more objective way that would not jeopardize the review or does it just need to âgoâ?
Unfortunately, it was poor choice of words given the shit going in the world right now, but yeah, I am right.
Yes, she can use her eighty seven years experience (just a couple more than me ) in IT to simply destroy those individuals, but not via Airbnb.
JF
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You mean my ninja social media skillZZZZZ to taunt and needle and basically destroy?
Too much unpaid trouble.
Are you sure about the cat? Because Bella really didnât like her and she (person) knew it.
How about âEven Bella the cat, normally seeking attention from all my guests, kept her distance.â
A fact, rather than conjecture about the catâs thoughts.
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Reversing the relevance reviews stance from AirbnbâŠâŠcan a guest point out the relevance of Bella pesky paws dislike?
We all want this review to STICK and follow her EVERYWHERE and make every following host to refuse her.
I listen to my animals when they want to tell me things, but other hosts that are not tuned in may not get the comment.
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I should have been clearer (especially for new hosts reading this thread looking for real help). I like the line about the cat being the entire review, really like it, but I would never use it, and for the reason the others stated: It could get the review removed. The catâs experience was not the authorâs, or whatever.
I entertain myself by writing scathing, economical, comical reviews as first drafts for my own horrible guests. Then once Iâve calmed down I write something professional that will stick.
So, yeah, âEven the cat didnât like herâ would be a first draft that, sadly, would get pitched.
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