… and a thick skin.
For the thin skinned, wine usually helps.
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… and a thick skin.
For the thin skinned, wine usually helps.
Actually, it is sometimes a vital ingredient to remaining thick-skinned!
I can guarantee that when you post on the internet people are going to say what they want, you will never be able to control how people respond to your post. If you are lucky you can control your response. So back to the topic at hand…
In my job as a teacher I dealt with people like this all the time. Couldn’t be bothered to read directions, made jokes when they got caught not knowing what they were doing, acting bored, unable to stay still, not listening to me while I try to explain things, lying to me, negative body language…and that was just my fellow teachers! I did also have to sometimes walk away because nothing would work, nothing would help. But I found that there was a strategy that Jesus advised called turning the other cheek. St. Paul said it would heap fiery coals on their head. That’s the background I was raised in so that was my first impulse. That was also the technique least likely to get me in trouble.
Near the later part of my career I found 4 little words to be very powerful: I need your help.
Combined with caring about the other person or faking it (fake it until you make it) it was extremely effective. So instead of saying "sit down, shut up and pretend to listen to me, " I’d tell the problem kid “Look, I want you to be successful/get along with others/stay out of trouble/get the A and to do that I need your help.”
So once you realize there’s something going on with this couple I’d try that approach. “Hey I can tell you’re tired but I need you to do a couple of things for me…” When they say things like “no wifi is going to be a problem” I would have said "It seems you didn’t read the listing carefully, and you aren’t going to be happy with a loft and no wifi. I’d be happy to refund half your money if you just go ahead and find another place. " You asked what I would do…that’s what I would do. You weren’t going to have the money anyway, right? Because those days should have been blocked? That puts you in the drivers seat and maybe makes the guest sit up and listen and realize if they aren’t careful they may have to pack up and drive back to town?
I wouldn’t spend much time thinking about them because that just poisons more of my time.
As you said, out of 150 guests you’ve only intensely disliked 2%. Pretty good. You were really tired, Airbnb messed up your blocked days, you could have stabbed them in the eyes with a hay rake so it’s a win.
So very true in a hosting situation. To say "hey, do me a favour’ or ‘help me out here’ or ‘look, I’m relying on you to [whatever]’ is so effective. (“It’s’ me and you against the world”)
Make the guests your ally.
Now for a glass of wine and get ready for the next one.
[quote=“KKC, post:24, topic:35913”]
"When they say things like “no wifi is going to be a problem” I would have said "It seems you didn’t read the listing carefully, and you aren’t going to be happy with a loft and no wifi. I’d be happy to refund half your money if you just go ahead and find another place. "
Thank you. Well said.
UPDATE: please note…am relating this because what I found in the cabin after they left is just weirdly amusing… Doesn’t much matter to me, because in general it was clean… but as one who studies people (and animals) I found it interesting. I also brought in a friend with no prior info and she was of like impression.
The first impression we both got was …this has been staged…I know…sounds weird. but it is.
It was clean…but things were in disarray. Bizarally so. And if just one or two things…no weird. but EVERYTHING was…
The broom was leaning against the couch. The couch cushions were placed around the room off the couch. The towels (despite the requests to just pile on the floor in the house rules) were hanging from all sorts of things. The bath mat was laying half in and half out of the shower. The fan was in the middle of the room nowhere near where it could be plugged in and useful. There was a dish towel over the outside railing, another was hanging over a dining stool, the cutting board was in the window, the dish soap, kept in a little tin bucket by the sink, was on another window sill and the bucket was next to the front door. The hand soap was out of it’s tin cup and near the cooktop and the tin cup is missing, all four coffee cups were bunched up on the shelf together instead of placed apart on a shelf with the dishes as they were, the coffee pot (darn polluting thing) was unplugged and moved about 12" away from it’s spot (and believe me, this place is tiny and there is no other place to conveniently put it), the baskets of coffee and snaks were moved away from their place, and oddly random, not to get more room to eat, the adapter for the ground coffee was in the living room window sill. There was more, no need to detail here. Never saw anything like it. Kind of like a whirlwind hit it.
Of course am grateful that it’s not trashed or really dirty…Just found all this quite intriguing…
Or perhaps HE has a hearing issue and therefor talks loud.
What was the concert? Sounds like they were dropping acid or another hallucinogen.
Implied perhaps but definitely not obvious, obviously, by the question that followed.
We are quite similar with all the work, including a farm with pastures and land as well as multiple places, and doing it all on our own day in and day out. Only big differences are age and status…I am about 20’years younger (although have disabilities left over from 24+ years in the military) and lost my husband to divorce. My heart goes out to you, ms. Shadow Mountain.
There is an unusual venue nearby. Called ‘The Caverns’…they host some unusual (and some mainstream) musical acts. And attract similar patrons. So some of my guests who attend are indeed ‘unusual’ but not in a stoned or unpleasant way. The husband certainly struck me right away as being ‘on’ something since he could not sit still. In less than 5 mn he got up and down from the chair at least 10 times. And could not pay attention. He was hardly hard of hearing and he was not ‘yelling at her’, he was just loud and clumsy in his demeanor. I’m taking a chance here, as she said she was a host so she could be one of you!
The odd way they left the cabin hints at something… and to top it off, they left a nice note in the guest book…nutty? deliberate? Who knows? And I don’t care. I doubt I will submit a review…It would be hard to explain these folks!
And to be clear, no matter how ‘irritating’ a guest may be, I never ever let on. Just vent to friends later, lol! I have always got my ‘nice me’ on when I have guests. Why not? It’s unproductive to do it any other way. After years in real estate I’ve perfected it! Even when I had to tell a guest to leave (2 times) I was polite, but firm.
Just an interesting interaction. Glad I could enjoy my wine in total peace last evening !
Well, thank you. And the same to you. But am doing fine on a normal day to day basis. I suppose someday I’ll have to slow down, or find help, or downsize…Not thinking that far ahead just yet!
And won’t allow this stretch of bookings again!
Please review! I’m sure some of the wordsmiths here could help out given what you posted.
? not sure I understand this post.
@shadowmnt You had said you were not going to review because it would be too hard/confusing or whatever and Terry (and others, presumably with hearts for the post) said you should anyways and that the folks here On the forum would be happy to help edit it for you.
We just had a second stay guest that I’m still deciding if I ever want him back again. The first time he stayed I just got a creepy vibe from him. He was a bit of a slob too. This past week I goofed up and accidentally bought Giants tickets on the day that he was checking out and someone checking in. I offered a 1/2 day reimbursement if he could vacate at 9 am (two hours earlier )
Of course he said No. That’s not what upset me though. At 11 am checkout time I had to knock on the door and ask him to leave!!! He finally left at 1120.
The place was a mess too.
He did message me a day later and apologised. I was considering blocking him but I’ve calmed down. He definitely has some social behaviour challenges so I guess I’m feeling a bit sorry for him.
There’s a good possibility he will book with us again.
So moral of the story you will not like everyone!
yuk…and I really sympathize…but I don’t try an like my guests. It’s a business, although happily most of the time I DO like them. a few have maintained contact, their choice, and I enjoy that (since it’s long distance!) I guess my property is different enough in a way that attracts that certain person that suits me, and I designed it that way, since it’s a place I would love to stay (and DO since I live here!) In my description I endeavor to make it clear what it offers, and how it is different and so therefor it weeds out the vast majority of those who would not fit.
I think that has helped me keep enjoying this venture. If I had to deal with every Tom, Dick and Harry who were merely looking for lodging, I would have quit a long time ago. Rarely you will get someone better suited for the Marriott (or Motel 6) but the rest share my love for this place and what it offers. The longer I do this, the more willing I am to step up, politely, and offer the unsuitable a way out. After this last couple, it will be easy should it happen again (and no doubt it will)…
It does get easier to do this with time, doesn’t it? I like your attitude towards your place and I can resonate with it. My listing is nothing really special but it is an interesting old building with some charming quirks. Not everyone appreciates it, though. Ah well, their loss.