Really? I don’t recall ever reading another host saying that vetting in general is intrusive.
It’s more a matter, it seems to me, of how one vets. Which for sure depends on location and the nature of the listing.
It would be silly, for instance, for me to ask a guest what brings them to the area, because I live in a beach destination tourist town- everyone basically comes for the same reasons- to escape the cold and relax at the beach.
But that might be a totally appropriate question for a host who lives in London and gets a 1 week booking- is this person coming on holiday to sight-see, coming to attend a conference, or are they going to be lounging around your home-share all day, playing video games and getting on your nerves.
And a host like KKC, who I gather gets a lot of last minute, 1 night bookings, because she lives just off the interstate in an area where there aren’t many places to stay, might not need to ask those guests anything. If someone just needs a place overnight to shower, heat up some take-out or whip up a simple meal and go to sleep, getting back on the road the next morning, they don’t really require much as far as vetting.
Vetting, for me, is about exchanging a few messages with a guest to get a sense of who I am dealing with. As a home-sharer, if a guest sends chatty messages, asks if I need anything from Canada or the US that they could bring down with them, I’m prepared for a friendly, sociable guest. If they just answer briefly, I know they may be a more private, not super sociable person who I probably won’t see much of.
Actual vetting questions for me are to determine whether they read the listing description and realize exactly what they have requested to book. I.e. 20 minute walk to the beach and town, and that they’re aware that the private room is only suitable for one guest.