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There certainly are medical conditions that can cause obesity – I don’t deny that. But to claim that the majority of obesity is caused by medical conditions is wishful thinking and harmful. I come from a family where average BMI is probably 35+. I love my family for lots of other reasons, but I watch them make repeated, awful decisions and they “know” they shouldn’t. They have accepted that being fat is “who they are” and that they cant change it. When I hear the term “body positive”, I just (quietly) shake my head. It is not something I bring up with them, but once in a while they’ll make remarks about how I am so “lucky to be thin”, but conveniently forget that I dedicate a substantial amount of my income and time to do so. Gym memberships aren’t free. Peeling myself off the couch at 7 PM to get a workout in takes away from family and TV time. Buying and cooking decent food takes continued effort and restraining from the temptations of fast/junk food isn’t easy. During family gatherings, ironically, I am the one who feels judged as I pass by the pizza and the pasta and the cakes. But I know what those choices lead to, as I’ve seen glimpses of weight gain during periods of injury (or, frankly, laziness).
But at the end of the day, I share (mostly) the same genetics as my obese family, but through choices I make, am able to stay healthy. That builds on itself, too – since I can climb a ladder to clean my gutters, I do so, and that is a slow and steady workout that will keep me able to climb that ladder. My 300 lb. brother calls a gutter guy.
Call me a conservative, but I believe obesity is part of a wider cultural problem, not some convenient ‘medical condition’. By crediting most obesity to the relatively rare medical disorders you mention, you remove accountability and turn people into victims of a disease/genetics.
And if you think that “big” (call it what you will) people shouldn’t pay more for things they break, extra fuel they burn, extra space they occupy in an airplane…I guess we’ll just agree to disagree.
Read what I said. I NEVER said the majority of obesity is caused by medical conditions. I said “ Not all obesity is a result of choice. There are medical conditions that can cause it. Diseases such as hypothyroidism, insulin resistance, polycystic ovary syndrome, and Cushing’s syndrome are also contributors to obesity. Some diseases, such as Prader-Willi syndrome, can lead to obesity.”
It’s great you are able to control your weight through diet and exercise. Some people are not so able as you.
Some people have handicaps that prevent them from being able to exercise as you do. Some people work multiple jobs or are caring for disabled family members and don’t have time for adequate self care. Some don’t have money for a gym membership or for healthier food choices.
You are privileged and your circumstances are not everyone’s circumstances.
I read it. Nurse Anne here thought you were on target.
If I could like your response a dozen times I would
I’m glad for @doughpat that she’s been able to break the obesity pattern in her family.
Other good people may be burdened with physical or mental health issues that may be slow to be recognized, slow to treat, slow to heal or may never heal. Life for most of us is complicated, difficult and at times we all need a little grace & empathy. At times I need BASKET-fulls.
I would suggest that is perhaps more of a social problem. There is evidence that obesity is higher amongst the poor. It’s complicated but the links are undeniable.
I do not want to be provocative, honestly I don’t, but I am intrigued by this statement:
and how it could be applied to good people who find other methods to “deal with” their pain. Alcoholics and drug users, for example.
In terms of airbnb guests, is there equivalence between an obese person breaking your furniture and an alcoholic spilling wine on your carpet? Assuming, of course, that they both have mental health issues.
It’s amazing that one can actually have a conversation about guests breaking furniture and what the best policy would be without regard to weight. And it can certainly be done without demeaning language blaring in the thread title.
I genuinely don’t understand this post. Why is it not ok to talk about broken furniture from guests who are so above average weight that regular furniture cannot sustain them? And why they should be immune from payment of breakages?
@diamond54 The original title you used was demeaning, cruel. @KKC & I have been on different sides of a conversation before but not this time-we are on the same page. Not sorry
Yes, you completely misunderstood. I’m replying to and agreeing with doughpat that discussing broken furniture is a legitimate topic on a host forum. What I will never agree with are the folks who can’t do it without insulting language. It’s absolutely clear that diamond wasn’t interested in discussing policy, she wants to expressly denigrate people.
One of my favourite guests ever was obese. I came home one day to find her in tears because she had broken the bed. I just hugged her and told her not to worry because I knew that the frame was not sturdy enough. In fact, it had broken before from children jumping on it and I clearly hadn’t done a good enough job of fixing it. So there was no question of charging her. We did a temporary “prop-up” job for the rest of her stay.
Ah, she was such a lovely person so warm, friendly and funny. I remember asking her once if she’d had a good day and she beamed at me saying it was wonderful. I waited to hear about the great historical sites she’d seen and the beauty of the city but no, she said ‘come, come, I’ll show you’. In her room there were bags and bags of stuff from Primark! She had bought around 20 pairs of shoes and sandals. Apparently it is difficult and hugely expensive to get wide-fitting shoes in her country. She said one pair of shoes would cost the same as the entire collection she’d bought. She was like a kid at Christmas!
If all my guests were like her, I wouldn’t care what size they were or how much they drank or smoked or whatever.
Actually another of my favourite guests was a heavy smoker! I’m on-site so there’s no chance of actually smoking on the property. This guest used to go out in the front garden in her dressing-gown with a cup of tea and a ciggie, not a care in the world what anyone passing by might think.
Glad you liked the story of my (large) shoe princess. I thought perhaps it might come across as condescending/patronising. I liked her for all kinds of reasons but definitely one of them was because she was very open about her size so there was no “tip-toeing” around things. I definitely get on best with guests who are direct and open. I’m not always very good with subtlety.
I just got my super host travel voucher and totally have my eye on your place @Magwitch!
By the way, I have similar travel story to your shoes-buyer. My father’s side is Swedish but the family was pretty much gone when I was little so didn’t really have a feel for what that meant (or whether I had the ‘traits’). However, I went to Sweden when I was 23 or so and was sitting in a train station picking out a museum or something and wondering why everyone was surprised when I didn’t speak Swedish. As I looked around, I realized that for the first time in my life, I looked like everyone else - even down to the very-small-hips-but-extra-thick-thighs (it’s not a typical combo in the US). I hopped in a cab and said, “take me to a mall”! I bought 15 pairs of pants. Every pair of pants I tried on fit me perfectly, it was truly amazing!
