Right ok… they could have worked a 60 hour week and just want to chill. I mean if you don’t like your guests hanging around like this then perhaps hosting isn’t ideal for you?
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HI @Kirsty_Jane
That was a little harsh. We come on this forum to sometimes let off steam. Not to be told we shouldn’t hosting when sometimes we find things a little hard to handle. I have one open plan living area so having the guest there from the moment I get home after a long tiring day at work every day, I find a little tiring.
In my case my guests did part time bar work and were a couple of hours away by plane.
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Well, not harsh really. It’s a fair question that I think hosts probably ask themselves all the time.
I have to hand it to those hosts who have guests inside their personal space. I just don’t know how you do it…
A few questions…
–do you feel forced to be cheerful, make small talk, ask about their day or give them suggestions?
–make them a cup of tea or coffee if you are also having one?
– avoid watching your own TV, say if you have one of those “guilty pleasure” shows you indulge in? Do you watch anyway or save ti for when they aren’t there? Do you let them have a choice of tv show to be polite?
–avoid talking on the phone when guests are there?
–get more dressed up than you normally would?
–have someone just be too interested in your personal stuff?
Thinking about these things is just one reason I could never do it.
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Yes, we do our best to be open, smiling, cheerful and helpful. If I don’t feel like it, I will retreat to our room, and my hubby steps in or vice versa.
Just think of it as anyone working in a service environment, being exposed to a continuous stream of clients all day long. All these workers also survive. And for us, most of the time we don’t get exposed to clients 8 hours a day. It’s max. an hour in the morning, and sometimes a few hours in the evening. For us it’s the charm of the job 
.
Even if we are not having a cup. If I feel like someone would be in need of a cup of tea, I just ask.
Our TV is in our bedroom. Our living room is still TV-free 
.
I am one of those people who shouts a little bit through the phone 
, certainly if the connection isn’t great. So I usually take the phone to our bedroom.
No, I won’t go walking around in my underwear 
but I will wear what I want to wear.
Do you mean personal items or personal life? Until now, we haven’t been bothered by either.
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I meant your stuff really. Like having them ask questions about an heirloom or something expensive would make me uncomfortable.
A few other questiOns…
–what do you do in the case of a guest in your,space giving off a disappointed or unhappy, unfriendly tone or vibe. I’ve had this kind of guest but basically I can close the door,after I show.them the place and wish them a nice stay and wait for the bad review. 
–having them be a total slob in your,shared space? Make a mess and not clean it.
I guess the forced socializing would be the hardest for me. It’s hard enough in my separate space.
I make small talk, ask them about their day, give them suggestions, invite them to eat with us if they are here during meal times, etc. Our current guests had dinner with us last night: quesadillas, guacamole and salad; all foods that are not eaten in China. The thing is I don’t feel forced. I am an extrovert and I thrive on interaction.
I show them the tea. If I’m making tea or coffee I offer. Otherwise, they are welcome to make themselves a cup any time they like (as long as they can stand my uncivilized stovetop whistling kettle).
I’m a night owl, so I usually watch TV or movies after everyone is asleep. We don’t have a TV so our guests and we watch on our devices.
I talk on the phone when guests are here. I avoid vacuuming when guests are here. I don’t use my stand mixer, food processor, stick blender or regular blender until the guests are awake or 10:00 A.M. whichever is earlier.
No, I don’t get more dressed than I normally would. In the morning I just wear a long sleep shirt. I haven’t gotten any complaints.
I don’t mind at all when people are interested in my stuff. If they find the adult toys, that’s their problem. Other than that, I’m happy to talk about whatever is of interest to them.
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Thanks for all the interesting answers guys!
We don’t have a lot of valuables exposed to guests. Well we simply don’t have a lot of valuables . My MacBook goes with me to the bedroom at night and that’s about all the significant value we have at home.
Yes, those are awkward situations, because most of the time you don’t know what’s going on, and you can’t always ask or discover: People can have a headache, food poisoning, just a bad day, relational problems OR a problem with us or our place. We can only try and stay nice and pleasant. Not a lot else we can do.
I just think of it like this: A family member can also have a bad day and be a little unpleasant. It’s not the end of the world.
We really haven’t had this problem. We have lots of dust in Lima, so we need to clean almost every day anyway. We don’t allow our guests to use the kitchen, so there is no mess to be made there. And in general there is not a lot of mess to be made. Well future guests might still surprise me 
.
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Whoa, that sentence perked me up… : )
So they would have had to be snooping to find the ‘adult toys’, right?
…or am I thinking of something else?
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Guests have seen me in my long robe and jams, my shortie jams, or just back from the ocean so super beachy, or in my yardwork grubbies and even with color on my hair… eeek! It’s how we live!
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Well, there is that thread about what you have hanging above your bed. 
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Yes, they would have to go in the chest of drawers in our bedroom, so that would definitely be on them.
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bahahhahahhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaa, My imagination has run 50 shades of wild! LAWL…
Yes, that was probably it. Like I said, it’s no problem for me if they stay in and possibly I was actually venting at the fact my saturday night plans fell through and I ended up staying in so was annoyed that they weren’t out having fun!!
On the other hand, they didn’t leave the house until 11am this morning and then came back around 5 and took extra long showers and back in the jammies at 8pm. So I continue to have at least one eye rolling…
Good questions! For me, my house is quite big and I have my own living room so guests do not impinge on my personal space. The dining room has no tv and is set up to be solely for eating not hanging around.
Around 5% of guests are needy and want to see you in the evening and show you a zillion photos of their day but generally we manage to avoid each other quite successfully 
A few guests have behaved as if the (very small) kitchen is their personal preserve and that’s been difficult but they are very much the minority. I NEVER see guests in the morning, unless they sleep in. I tell them this at the outset. I’m not a morning person and all they’ll get from me is a growl if they’re around.
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That would be the big one for me. This is a pretty relaxed place and everyone wears jeans (or shorts) and t-shirt most of the time. That’s fine but I’d have to wear my posh jeans,
But when guests are here, which is most of the time, even though it’s a separate apartment I feel the need to be out of pjs and with mascara on by 9 am just in case I bump into the guests outside. Mind you, guests who leave or go out early often see me pj-ed and bedheaded.
But especially for the arrival and house tour, I feel that I have to look respectable.
Sounds like they are saving their energy for nightly indoors activities 
. Someone is doing a lot of bonga bonga…
Ha ha but no! Two young women and I’m 99.9% sure they are just friends. I’ve been doing this long enough to know the bonga bonga types and don my special hardcore headset straight after the house tour 
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Again, my post was just to suggest it would be useful to mention it in your feedback; in a subtle way, that these guests are homebodies: in the same way when guests are out a lot I write “friendly guests, always out and about”…these little comments can help the next host to decide if the guest is a good fit.
We are here to support each other, not judge.
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