Have guests staying in every evening :(

Certainly not the worst problem to have with guests. I have a young Spanish couple staying with me. They are polite, clean and friendly so I should have nothing to complain about.

However they are complete home bodies and stay in every night staying in my open plan living space and talking quietly so as not to disturb me. I tell them I am happy for them to speak normally and there are loads of cafes, bars and restaurants locally, but no, there they are like fixtures on my sofa :frowning:

It’s driving me nuts.

Who comes to a city for ten days and then stays in every evening.

Just letting off steam. It’s been a busy few months. Maybe I need to take a break from hosting for a while.

Take them for a beer.


You’re my kind of host, haha!

When I was reading your post, I was thinking some homebody guests would not be too bothersome, but then you said 10 days lol. That is a long time. I mean, it’s nice that our guests almost always out and about. Maybe we get too spoiled with that? lol

I did that on Tuesday :slight_smile:

If I didn’t have an open plan living room or they spent some time in their room it wouldn’t be so bad.

Or if they were lively chatty guests, it’s sitting there as quiet as church mice that I find rather disconcerting.

Luckily I’m out tonight.

Among the many reasons I spent $15000 to add on to my guest room to create an ensuite and separate entrance is exactly that. Though it didn’t happen often it always bothered me. I couldn’t really blame the guest for not staying in their room since it’s a small room. Despite that I still get people who need something, want to use the kitchen or want to see the dogs. I’m really nervous about a stay starting tomorrow for 3 nights. She has cancer and can only drive 250-300 miles a day. She is on an end of life trip to Sedona, AZ. She’s already made clear she wants to tell me stories over a cup or pot of coffee and see the dogs because hers passed away. :fearful:


guests that stay in all the time really bug me, I mean they are on vacation and allowed to chill, but GO OUTSIDE. GO SEE THE CITY YOU PAID MONEY TO TRAVEL TO. hahhaa

In theory I agree… go out… but it is -4ºC here this morning, and my guests have not been enthusiastic about going out at night when it gets even colder. Can’t blame them. However, they don’t hang in my spaces, but instead retreat to their own sitting room.

Last night’s guests lucked out. I made some oatmeal-raisin cookies and since they were home, they each ate one with gusto.

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@helsi I think the talking in a low voice would get on my nerves even more.

I had some Italian guests who didn’t go out for 2 weeks. It became very difficult to relax or indeed live because I was constantly having to be on my best behaviour. You have my sympathy! It shouldn’t be a challenge and yet a constant invasion of your personal space becomes challenging very quickly.

I had to remove access to the living room after a certain time. I’m sure most wouldn’t need to go so far.


Thanks @Zandra - that’s exactly it - having to be on my best behaviour and not feeling I can put the TV on or my music as they are reading .

Ahh, this is annoying… I’ve had a homebody guests too. No, seriously, you fly at least 2500 miles to Hawaii and you stay in the apartment most of the day? Even though they are not in my personal space, I’m still mindful of guests when they are here. I try not to have my TV on loud, I wait on running the dishwasher and I try to tippytoe upstairs. So I LOVE guests who leave all day. Which is what most of them do. I especially love it when they head to the volcano as it’s an all day adventure that usually keeps them gone until the evening hours.

Karma, that type of guest making an announcement that she was expectiving a friend to talk story with would worry me too. I’m sure you don’t advertise yourself that way. As a friendly landing point for traveling strangers? Maybe she was just trying to be polite and will be a quiet guest once she gets there.

Your poor guest. If she’s on an end of life trip. I am sure she will want to get out and about. Perhaps have some details of short trips to hand with lots of sitting down involved.

If you have MacMillan (our cancer nurses here) or a hospice locally. Make sure you have their details to hand in case God forbid something happens.

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If it bothers you that much, why don’t you put in your rules that they can’t use your living room?

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Because I have never had this situation before and I am normally happy for them to come in and use it. As is often said on these forums we shouldn’t change our house rules because of one guest.

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I had a lad for 4 days who was here to meet friends. He only left the room to pee, my husband never saw him and my children thought I was only messing saying there was a guest to get them to be quiet.

When considering to do airbnb, I remember reading a review from a guest who stayed close by, the guest said she told me to get out from under her feet and not come back to 6.00 pm everyday and that she did not have time for people who hanged out in her house during the day.

I once had a year long student who followed me around the kitchen when I was cooking then sat down in our sitting room munching sweets and watching TV every night for 6 months. I was ready to kill him


I feel better now @cassid …6 months …I would definitely end up killing him :slight_smile:

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Ok, now that I understand a bit better: Why don’t you try to claim your space again a little bit. It’s your home, if you want to watch television, just watch television. Some hosts here believe that they should walk on egg shells whenever a guest is near.
We try to respect our quiet hours to allow the guests (and us) a good night’s sleep, but the rest of the day we just go to our normal business. If we need to vacuum we will vacuum. If we want to listen to music we will listen to music. If our dog decides to bark, it can bark. It’s our home, thing don’t come to a halt because we have a guest.
So don’t feel awkward, just do what you normally do :wink:.


I hope she’s not that close to the end. She’s driving alone from FL to Sedona. So while she doesn’t drive far in a day and wanted to make sure there were no stairs I hope I won’t have to deal with any medical emergency. There is a hospital nearby at least.

Let’s hope not. In the UK hospices and end of life nurses are normally better at providing treatment then general hospitals.