Being in a vacation destination, I frequently have young men staying solo with me. How do others deal with solo guests who “hook up” and bring strangers back to their room with them? My profile allows two people in the room.
One of my first rules is ‘no additional guests without prior approval, or something like that’. This would not work for our family - with three kids, guest is sharing our space - in any way. Decided for yourself what will work for you. However, I’m near DC so my guests are usually completely exhausted by the end of the day!!
I am stunned that you would tolerate or allow this. A host ( you ) must be mature enough and self assured enough to set clear parameters with all guests…both for your personal safety, and for their ease of visit. Deal with this prior to arrival, either by house rules or by contract, and do not allow “hook ups” in your home.
I have no conserns about my personal safety. I live with three large dogs who would never tolerate anyone threatening me. But I agree with you. It’s only occurred once but I’m new at this. I like the house rules “no additional guests without prior authorization.” I’m going to add that to my profile now. Thanks guys!
Noway, at least they need to ask.
in my house rules I have in capital letters NO CASUAL GUESTS
The language I use is “no unregistered guests allowed to stay overnight. Noncompliance results cancellation with no refunds and remittance of security deposit.”
It is a business and security issue that deserves language with gravitas that represents your views and is very clear.
I actually had a young lady bring home a stranger once. I had it in my house rules and personally told her no strangers. What I tell my guests now is if you want to hook up go to their home. You get to know the type of person who will bring strangers home, but not to my house. I need to know whom I’m bumping into on the way to the bathroom.
Even better. I’ll use that language. Thanks!
Terrible… I have something similar in my rules. “No unregistered guests allowed on the property or in the apartment. Only your approved party allowed.”
I thought it was just common sense but then when someone did it I was totally stunned. This so-called “quiet professional” from Portland (Jennifer H, don’t EVER rent to her!) brought home a local dude she met on the beach and started partying with him here, then gave every indication of having him stay over, I had to first break up the party then send her a text later to make sure he left. That local guy now knows where I live, what my situation is and what I have here. What was that fool girl thinking? I left her a SCATHING review. No one will ever rent to her on Air after reading my choice words.
You have to make this rule clear or they will take advantage of you every time.
Also, just because your profile allows two, that doesn’t mean you rented to two. There’s a difference.
Thank you for this post. We just had this happen the weekend before last. We now have the rule in our house rules “only registered guests allowed to stay overnight”.
She had booked with us 6 months prior. She was going to her good friends wedding. She had booked for 2 guests but then informed us the day before arriving that it would just be her.
The first night was fine - that was the rehearsal dinner. It was the night of the wedding that she arrived home at 2:30am, stumbling up the stairs with “someone” who drove her home. In the morning, we set an extra setting at the breakfast table and eagerly awaited meeting our surprise guest. She brought home a guy that she claimed to have known for a couple of years. I didn’t really expect it so we had to awkwardly go with the flow. The girl even had him hang out with her for the whole day in the room.
To top it off, you would think she would know a thing or two about etiquette since she is a travel blogger…ah well, she’s young and beautiful and for us it’s a learning experience :-).
Other than the whole surprise guest thing, she was a nice enough girl. Had the “guest” thing not have happened, we would have recommended her to other hosts…but alas, we did not.
You might also want to add “on the property” as well as in the room. Once it is in your rules, they cannot do it without clearly being in violation. Also it is a security issue. You don’t want strangers not on your contract (implicit with Air BnB) in your home!!!
Pretty or not, a girl stumbling home drunk with a hookup in hand would not appeal. This is your HOME, not the No-Tell Motel.
I’m pretty sure I’ll get flamed by konacoconutz for this, but I don’t mind guests bringing home guests.
We had a medical student from England who asked if he could have a friend stay the night and we agreed. This medical student also made a friend in L.A. where we live and brought him over several times. All three of these young men were very nice.The overnight guest brought me a gift of delicious toffee.
We get a lot of guests who are here for conferences, classes, seminars, etc. and I think it is nice for them to be able to entertain the people they meet. In fact, we make it clear to guests that it is fine for them to bring their friends over.
By the way, we also have two large dogs who also would put the kabosh to anyone trying to hurt my husband or me.
I think I wouldn’t have a problem if I had prior warning. The one young man that brought his “hookup” home from the bar left a bunch of used condoms in the room and I thought he was watching porn on cable with the volume really loud. Until he snuck out of the room with his conquest. I laughed about it but then thought “what if she were some meth-head or prostitiute”? I think the prior authorization is a good idea.
I would also be upset if a guest brought a guest home without asking first. That’s rude. Also, the used condoms; just disgusting and loud porn; irritating not to mention that pay per view costs money. It sounds like you had a horrible guest. The guests we’ve had who brought guests home have been gracious about it.
Flamed? What do you mean? I never personally insult anyone on forums. I might have a strong opinion but I don’t “flame.” That’s a pretty strong word.
If you are fine having paying guests bring non paying guests in exchange for some toffee and conversation, more power to you. None of my concern at all. To each his own. But people unknown to you not part of your Air reservations pose a potential security issue to you. If they cause damage, Air won’t side with you. If they don’t want to leave, you have no recourse because you gave strangers permission to be there.
As for extra guests who aren’t paying, you are footing their accommodations expenses like utilities, linens, clean up, water, etc. If you are fine giving away what you are selling, then it’s totally it to you. It’s your gig.
I didn’t say that I don’t have our guests’ guests pay the second person fee if they stay overnight.
I have in my descriptions that “please no ‘extra’ guests if you know what I mean” which I hope covers it.
A couple of backpackers I hosted asked me if for one night one of their (girl) friends could crash, as they were quite young I agreed (free of charge too) because I really didn’t want the young girl to be stranded. They were happy about it and gave me some biscuits as a present, and I felt reassured.
I would make it MORE emphatic than that. “NO casual, additional guests allowed.”
Some people who don’t speak English won’t get it if you say “if you know what I mean.” Sounds wishy washy.
I have it in my rules. “Only guests in your approved party may be on the property or in the apartment.”
Don’t leave it to chance.