Guests bringing home guests

Yes it is one thing when your guests ask about it. That shows some courtesy and respect that it is our home and that really we should get to say or know who is coming or going from it.

I have only had two incidents with guests bringing strangers to our home, and this is because we mainly cater to NY couples on weekenders. One was a very nice couple who just wanted to show off our beautiful home to their friends that were staying elsewhere. They were having a great time and wanted to show them. I was surprised to suddenly hear a bunch of people I didnā€™t expect wandering about my home and spending a couple of hours or so here as I thought they would have known it was good manners to warn your host that you are inviting people over (you have booked a room, not taken over a home remember). But it wasnā€™t a big deal and they got a great review from us as they were very nice overall.

The other guest was a single woman, and she bought a couple of friends home late at night to smoke pot on our back porch. We have some nosy neighbors on one side that hate the extra cars and Iā€™m sure would love to get us into trouble for something - so this did bother us. It bothers us that guests bring back locals. We donā€™t need people getting wind of what our home contains, and what time it is left unlocked until because we have no way of verifying who these people are. It is totally inappropriate, and I would be unhappy about a guest that brought back people to spend the night also without permission.

If a I had a guest I liked and trusted, and they asked to bring someone they knew, that is completely different, and I would have no problem whatsoever. Itā€™s just like a guest coming with a boyfriend or girlfriend. Only one of the guests is really verified, but they do at least give you warning that two are coming and booked, and introduce you to the other guest on arrival.

This really comes down again to which kinds of guests are respectful. Some guests think of our homes as hotels, and donā€™t seem to think they need to extend the courtesy you would a host in their own home because there was money exchanged. Itā€™s a strange world as an airbnb host, because we do offer an exceptional experience to our guests because of the monetary exchange - going much further with cleaning and removing all personal effects, trying to make it as comfortable as a possible for guests, but we still hope that guests will recognize it as our home, and behave in a way that shows the understand the difference between that and public property. Unfortunately either some donā€™t, or just think if is normal to do whatever they like without concern for the feelings and potential safety issues of others.

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Two problems here with thisā€¦ and one BIG problem, so now itā€™s a blanket rule. NO GUESTS OTHER THAN YOUR APPROVED PARTY ALLOWED.

Itā€™s exceedingly rude to suddenly hear a bunch of strange voices in your own home and then beyond distressing to discover thereā€™s a free for all going on. Locals in my case too. Now these strangers know about my house and what I own and what I have here. NOT COOL, and no one will ever have the chance to EVER do this to me again.

I have not had a problem with this since making my rules INSANELY clear. Polite. BUT CLEAR. I rented to two. Not three, not four, not more. Especially when they came here and partied loudly, ignored my request to quiet the party and then broke furniture. Iā€™m still a bit stressed out over it! And this was back in February! You cannot trust trust guests, no matter how nice they seem when enquiring (remember, they want you to accept them)ā€¦ no matter how nice they are when in residence! They will turn on you after youā€™ve done extra things, they will nit pick in reviewsā€¦ Of course some are nice butā€¦ you know what? Now I donā€™t trust themā€¦ Sorry but I donā€™t. They also donā€™t read or listen.

I just removed porch lights because no matter how emphatically I say it, they still leave them on all night!!!

Sorry to sound jaded but Iā€™m getting pretty burned outā€¦ not as burned out as Sandy, but almost. :smile:

Lol Kona. Probably because you keep them separate :smile:

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Which tells you how burned out Iā€™d be if I had them IN my house Sandy! Iā€™d be on the forum for ā€œformerā€ hosts by now, LOL.

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ā€œno additional guests without prior authorizationā€ - I added it into my profile, thank you! But I live in a middle of nowhere, no place to hook someone.

But should apply to ALL guests they want to bring, not just ā€œhook ups.ā€ I had a guest who invited her brother to stay overnight. He walked right by me as I was sweeping my carport. He had a backpack and looked like he was staying! ā€œHi, Iā€™m just here to see me sister.ā€

Before I could even ask or say anything they turned out the lights and went to bed!

I spoke to the guests about it the next day and they were profusely sorry. Then they proceeded to clog up my drain and lose my snorkeling gearā€¦ All of which were taken care ofā€¦ but honestly?? If I had my bother business pick up, Iā€™d really be limiting guestsā€¦ who needs the aggravation???

Sorry to sounded jaded and cynical to all the new hosts here. But doing this hosting brings its share of sh*t.

An older but interesting topic!

Our rental is a separate apartment with a double bed and no facilities for more than two guests. Iā€™ve had 99% couples so the hook-up thing hasnā€™t happened ā€” yet.

But I do say in the listing that extra guests are limited to two people and during daylight hours only. Thatā€™s because Iā€™ve had several guests who are here to visit family and they want them to see the place where they are staying.

My apartment is directly opposite the rental so the chances are that I can see anyone who is sneaked in. And if a single guest wants to have someone over for a couple of nights during their stay, I insist on taking a photograph of their ID. I say it is ā€˜for their own protectionā€™.

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Iā€™ve had plenty of guests bring their local friends / family back to visit or for lunch / dinner a coffee or wine. Once or twice a friend of theirs has stayed the night. Iā€™ve got no problem at all with it as I often have my friends around when my guests are staying too (rarely overnight however). I wouldnā€™t care if someone hooked up for a night - if it were for longer I may ask for the extra guest amount - but probably wouldnā€™t bother. My attitude is that guests are paying good money and that the place is as much theirs as it is mine when they stay. In fact I tell them this when they arrive. Why would I care if they get ā€˜luckyā€™ or come home a bit drunk? They are responsible adults and Iā€™m not their mum. I also donā€™t assume that every stranger who enters my place is looking to scope it out to steal something later. Itā€™s another issue if they leave a mess or condoms etc. But Iā€™ve never had that. Iā€™m conscious of their normal human needs and privacy and expect them to be conscious of mine also - Iā€™ve had well over 100 bookings and have had very few issues with guests. Iā€™m surprised that some Airbnb hosts are so paranoid and restrictive. Iā€™m totally the opposite and have never had any problems and get great reviews about my hospitality. Everyone to their own I guess - maybe Iā€™m too relaxed and easygoing?

Honestly? I think you are too relaxed about it. Iā€™m a pretty relaxed girl myself but not when it comes to my property or personal safety. Just because you havenā€™t had any issues - yet - doesnā€™t mean you wonā€™t in the future. I really think youā€™re leaving yourself wide open here. Just my two cents.

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When my guests invited a ā€œlocalā€ guy over (per his local car), then I know that guy now knows what I have here, what my living situation is, if I live alone, what my wireless password is and on and on. Because that reservation did not end well, (they took over my house with their party, and would not comply with requests to stop, damaged furniture, etc.) and I left her a scathing review I was truly paranoid that dude would come back here for some revenge. I did not give permission for some unknown person to be here. I know for a fact they were doing drugs besides being openly hostile and disrespectful. Your contract is between you and the guests youā€™ve booked, not anyone else. You leave yourself open to security risks when you allow guests to bring strangers on your property. Itā€™s just asking for trouble to allow it.

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We have a long term guest and we love her. Sheā€™s been with us for 9 months and just extended for three more. She occasionally has her husband stay here with her. She asks permission, and we always say yes. She just asked again, and this time heā€™s staying three nights. The problem? We arenā€™t comfortable around him. Heā€™s kind of a jerk, and after the last visit we swore we wouldnā€™t agree to let him stay. We want to be and expect to be comfortable in our own home. This is a dilemma for sure since we like our guest so much. Charging more for an extra guest would be tacky. We donā€™t intend to do that.

Why? Extra guests use more utilities, put more wear and tear on your place and, make more noise, and in your case, ruin your day for the 3 days heā€™s there. 2 people is twice as many people as one. Charging a little extra (not 100% more of course) makes sense.

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@mon38rider

What would be tacky is telling your guest she canā€™t have her husband visit anymore. (How were you planning to handle that?!)

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Not sure exactly. I had a talk with her after he left and let her know we didnā€™t think he enjoyed his stay. I asked her if he had an issue with us. She said no. We were hoping sheā€™d get the hint we were uncomfortable. Apparently not. Iā€™m not making an issue out if it because we think sheā€™s the perfect guest. She cooks for us, carts our kid around occasionally, picks up groceries for us, takes care of our dogs when weā€™re away, and she doesnā€™t even ask us for supplies. We told her to let us know when she runs out of things but she doesnā€™t. She just gets what she needs. So, thatā€™s why I think itā€™s tacky to charge more for him to stay.

I agree with you. They use your house and will leave not thinking a thing of it. Read my response to sandy. Let me know what you think. I appreciate the feedback. We need to expand our house rules And let people know from the beginning that extra guests will be charged.

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Mon, you have to take charge here. This is your home. Itā€™s better not to pussy foot around with guests and hope they get the hint. They wonā€™t. Just come out with it.

" Sorry, guest, this booking is for you alone and your husband is not included on the reservation. Also I know we allowed him to stay in the past, but we are not comfortable with him here. So unfortunately, we canā€™t allow you to have him over. Itā€™s just not a fit for our home. Sorry."

I donā€™t think this is about the money, this is about that he is a jerk and you donā€™t like him or want him in your home.

Just curious, why is the wife staying with you? Is she separated from the dude?

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The extra information you provided makes me think you may just suck it up as a quid pro quo. Itā€™s one thing to have a ā€œperfect guestā€ with a husband who makes you uncomfortable. Itā€™s another to have a guest who helps care for your kid and dogs. Most people get paid a pretty penny to do that. If she is doing that without anything in exchange then yeah, itā€™s tacky to charge for the husband in this case.

Part of the problem with offering advice to new members of the forum is that we donā€™t know much about the situation. It sounds like an unconventional arrangement to be sure.

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She travels with her job. Another perk is she goes home once a month for 7 Days, so we get paid while sheā€™s gone. Let me put it this way. Her husband has a huge chip on his shoulder and acts like a pompous a@$. He hasnā€™t said anything directly to us that offends us, itā€™s his behavior we donā€™t like. For instance, if we ask him a question heā€™ll stare at us with a sneer on his face and not answer. Can you say awkward? The last time he was here he cooked a meal in our kitchen. Our guest asked permission first and of course we were ok with it. When we got home, he kept his back turned and didnā€™t greet us. Really weird. When we left a few minutes later to drop our daughter off at a friends house, he still kept his back turned and didnā€™t say a word to us. Heā€™s an odd man. Thatā€™s why we asked if he had a problem with us. My exact words were, ā€œIā€™m not sure your husband likes us very much.ā€ She said he did, and was very adamant about it. Sheā€™s with us for a few more months and I doubt heā€™ll be back again since he lives hours from us. If this visit doesnā€™t go well I will tell her heā€™s not coming to stay at our house again. Luckily they have their own space. If not, it would be a definite no this time.

Itā€™s been a great arrangement. When sheā€™s off, she offers to help with anything we need. We are so blessed!! I wish we had a live in helper all the time. I donā€™t know how we did it all before she moved in. And, we do a lot for her, obviously.

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Thatā€™s not awkward, it is open hostility.
Itā€™s not okay.
I know you feel there are other advantages, and she is not going to cancel because you said no to the hubby, but surely this woman knows her husband is being a s*&t in your home. You must go with what you are comfortable with, but personally if it were me, Iā€™d be totally uncomfortable with this kind of person around my family home and especially around my child.