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Guests Behaving Badly? Or am I over reacting?

My inlaws live about 12 minutes away from my husband and me. Last week, while doing Air research, I noticed that the house right next door to theirs is a whole house Airbnb rental. When I say, “right next door”, I really mean it. The houses are close together. You can look out my inlaw’s kitchen window and watch people frolicking in the pool.

This morning at about 12:40 AM my father in law suffered a heart attack. My husband and I arrived at the house at just about 1:00 AM. There were still 2 police cruisers with lights flashing parked in front of my inlaw’s house. Both an ambulance and fire truck has just left the property. Point here is that it was impossible to not know that something bad was happening at the house.

The Airbnb guests were outside in the pool area of the house, partying and playing music from outdoor speakers too loudly for 1:00 AM, let alone for a possible somber event happening at the house right next door. The police on the scene actually asked them to quiet down.

Am I over reacting in thinking that A) people should not be playing music outdoors in a closely packed, otherwise quiet residential neighborhood, and B) that even if they are, they should show some respect when ambulances, fire trucks and police cruisers show up? Maybe I’m just emotional and over tired?

I am all for Airbnb, being a host myself who is generating a fair and very welcome amount of income. That being said, it’s very clear to see why subdivisions, neighborhoods and so on do NOT want Airbnb around.

Last question. Do you think I should contact the host of this property to tell her of her guest’s behavior?


I am so sorry that your family has experienced such a difficult thing. I do hope that your father in law is recovering well.

Most towns/cities have sound ordinances which require “quiet time” between certain hours. I don’t think you can ask an entire neighborhood to be quiet due to an ambulance visit, but you can require they be quiet during the municipalities quiet times. I think you should research the sound ordinances in your area to determine if they are breaking the law or just being jackasses.

Loud music in any neighborhood at 1am is a problem, even if there is no sound ordinance. In the future, I would call the police and complain.

I have no idea what relationship you have with the owner of this new AirBNB party house, so can’t advise you either way regarding contacting them. However, I would very seriously consider filling out the new “neighbor” form at AirBNB. The description and link to the form can be found here.



So sorry for your family’s difficulty, and wish your father-in-law a speedier-than-possible recovery, and many long years of healthy living.

Anyone who’s in a pool at 1 am playing loud music and being loud is a jerk. That fact alone explains that they didn’t stop to see what the hec was going on.

What kind of ordinance do you have in your area? We call the police by 11 pm or midnight when people are having very loud parties. They are happy to come and intervene. Your parents should access any assistance that law enforcement can provide.

Do you know the host? If so, your parents should contact them.

Good luck


I’m so sorry to hear about your FIL. I hope he is doing better and will make a full recovery!

The type of people who have a loud outdoor party at 1 am in a residential area are the type of people who are oblivious to events around them and likely didn’t notice or care about the ambulances. If there is a way to alert the Airbnb host that would be a good idea because it will hurt them to have guests like this and it gives a bad reputation to all of us.

People are just selfish jerks, I keep hoping that this isn’t true but then you hear stories. In our neighborhood an elderly man had a heart attack and actually started coding (where resuscitation is necessary) and the EMT’s were trying to stabilize him enough to get to the hospital. A neighbor was upset that the ambulance was blocking her driveway and actually started banging on the back door and yelled for them to move. The wife was already in a complete panic about her husband and was shocked that anyone could be so rude at such a moment. But the other lady didn’t care - she just wanted in her driveway. Sad.


I just can’t believe how self-focused so many people are. I totally believe all of these stories and I’m so sad that your family is having to deal with this. I would contact that host and ask that they try to keep their guests better behaved, and definitely use that “neighbor” link to complain. It’s hosts like that letting entitled guests run amok that is going to ruin this for all of us.

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I set a 10 PM quiet time in the yard and pool. Your neighbor is exactly the reason for backlash again air . I strongly disagree with that neighbor report link, but I hope you sit with the owner and discuss correct and apropriate parameters of behavior.

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The host may have not known about the partying level. Perhaps you could set it up that if their current or future guests are behaving badly, your in-laws could call you and you could call the hosts (leaving your in-laws out of it as much as possible).

Sending healing thoughts through the universe for your dad-in-law :hearts:

Thank you all for your kind words and prayers/positive energy. It is appreciated and affirming of the goodness in many, many people.

@Artemis, that story about that woman who only cared about an ambulance blocking her is just unbelievable. I hope for her sake that she gains some humanity. On another note, trust me, no matter how self involved these people were, there is simply no way they could have been unaware of the drama next door. There were a total of four rescue vehicles/squad cars with blindingly flashing lights within a stone’s throw of them. For another, 2 of them were actually gawking through the chain link fence around their pool to see what was going on. I just felt is was astonishingly disrespectful.

I am glad to see that some of you indeed think I should make the owner of the listing aware of what her guests were doing. I am not holding her responsible, as she’s an off site host and I’m sure she had no idea of her guest’s behavior. That being said, the nature of her listing is bound to attract other, similar groups. I believe it’s in her best interest, and in the best interest of the entire Airbnb community to figure out ways to minimize this sort of thing, through better vetting, stricter house rules or other methods. As @georgygirlofairbnb mentioned, it’s guests like these that are going to eventually ruin Airbnb for all of us.


Yes… You should tell the hosts if you know them. No host wants their guests making disruptions like that. Tell them. How else will they know?

Hi @konacoconutz. I don’t know the host. I only know she’s renting the house in question because, while researching other local rentals, I stumbled upon hers and recognized the house.

That’s the main reason I asked for other’s opinions. If I knew her, it would be a no brainer. Since I don’t, I worry that no matter how I word things, she might not take kindly to me butting in. I don’t want to create any animosity that would wrongly be directed towards my MIL either. It doesn’t seem such a thing would happen, but you never know how people will react.

If I do contact this host, I would say something along these lines.

Dear J,

At 1:00 AM on Friday, August 26th, I had reason to be at the house next door to your Airbnb rental on XYZ Road. As a fellow Airbnb host, I thought you would want to know that the guests staying at your place were playing music outside in the pool area at a volume too loud for the hour. Though police were not called about the music, officers were on scene due to a medical emergency next door and did ask the guests to turn the music down. I wanted to make you aware of this in the event it influences your review of these guests.


Exterior cameras. Cameras, cameras, cameras. @Chloe please mention cameras to them. And remember, disclosing the existence of the cameras will help reduce the nonsense.


You need to hold the host responsible. Off site hosts must be held accountable because if they arent, they will take all of us responsible and aware hosts down, as communities outlaw air for the reasons of disruption etc.
Host is responsible for activity on their property. Period. If they are not on site, and they have a pool and a large house, shame on them for not having cameras to protect the house and the neighbors.
I am appalled by these kinds of rental owners, and I have no intent to excuse their lack of care.

Did you read her rules/description?
Any mention of being respectful of neighbours /quiet time/loud music (like most of the listings I’ve read do)
Referencing her rules and how they’d broken them would make it look more like you’re doing her a favour rather than complaining.

Sorry to hear of the awful evening for you all.

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How is your father in law doing? @Chloe


I did contact the host in question. Though I usually feel it’s not my place to butt into other people’s business, in the end I agree with the idea that hosts need to be responsible for their guests and do everything they can to minimize the impact on neighbors and communities.

@KKC, thank you asking, and again, thank you all for the support. Unfortunately, my FIL’s brain was deprived of oxygen for too long before the paramedics were able to get his heart started. He has no meaningful chance of recovery, and has not regained consciousness since the incident. He had made his wishes very clear should such an occurrence come to pass, so we are saying our goodbyes.

Though these things are always awful for those of us left behind, my FIL is in his late 80s and he’s lived a full and good life. He saw the world when he was a young man. Then he married, raised a family, ran a successful business, and was able to spend the last 20 years of his life retired and watching his grandchildren grow up.


I am sorry for your situation.

But to answer your questions, my opinion is:

A) Loud music at 01:00 AM is not ok. If they do it during the daytime, it should not be a problem. But after 22:00 they there should be less noise.
B) I think you are a bit overreacting here.

Yes, you should contact the host. But only about the loud music at night, leave the rest out of it.

My condolences to you and all your family. It’s good to know he’s had a wonderful life.

Oh no! I’m so sorry! I’m glad you can have the comfort of knowing that he lead a full life.

So sorry for your grievous loss - but rejoicing in the wonderful life he had.

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I would like to offer my sincere thoughts. It is a difficult and correct decision you are making and experiencing.

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