Indeed! A witness is necessary and very desireable
I donât know how laws work in your country @justMandi, but if heâs an Airbnb guest why canât you just ask Airbnb to cancel the booking as you fear for your safety?
If he is not an Airbnb guest - what notice period do you have in your contract with him?.
To be honest I canât believe that you would be happy for him to stay until the end of November after the appalling way in which he has behaved towards you and the affect his dope smoking is having on your health.
If not an Airbnb guest, it would be your solicitor rather than the police I would be talking to. Understand your rights and responsibilities and give him notice now. As I mentioned earlier I would buy him out of any notice period and get him to leave immediately. His behaviour will only get worse as he knows you are letting him get away with behaving so badly.
In the UK if you have a lodger you can just give them notice in line with how often they pay, so if they pay weekly you give them a weekâs notice. (maybe different under Covid)
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It really helps my back pain. Different strokes for different folks.
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Any update to share? We would hope for the best but it seems that he isnât likely to take it well.
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Hi Annet, I really want to thank you for this answer, especially from someone whom I would consider to be a qualified expert.
Up here, the THC levels average around 20%. The smell alone was choking us out and seriously problematic for my asthma. But he continued. We have reason to believe that he has physical problems.
I am going to ask you to keep an open mind on the next bit. I have PTSD, and gapped out for a day about him shoving me aside. Now I see how serious this is. I filed a police report tonight, and offered my other roomies an alternate place to stay. I have asked the police to deal with him.
Thank you to all of you for your kind advice, and patience.
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This information is priceless. Although it is rare, we have exercised this in the past. In this case, it was more serious than I originally described (my response to Annet) and I have turned this over to the police.
Again, thank you.
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Unfortunately he was a direct booking. We have been doing very well with them this year, and he was a a great roomie for a while. However due to a disability I blacked out the worst part for about a day. I am terribly embarrassed about this (see my response to Annet).
I turned to this forum because I needed perspective from others. I am very grateful for it.
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Many people can walk in your shoes with this. They are not able to be as open with it. I applaud you for your honesty. Thank you for sharing.
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Annet, outside of the âgapâ, I secretly congratulated myself on handling this yesterday! Reward? A hot bath, maybe even a massage.
You have all been wonderful.
I will keep you posted about the police.
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@justMandi When someoneâs behavior and personality seem to change, itâs been my experience that they may have mental issues that they take medication for, and as long as theyâre on their medication, youâd never know that they have those issues. Then for whatever reason, they stop taking it, and itâs like night and day.
A good friend started dating a guy who told her up front that he was bipolar, but that he always takes his medication. She said she was fine with that as long as he didnât go off his meds- sheâs a youth and family counsellor and those things donât freak her out.
They went out for 3 years and had a nice relationship until one day he showed up at her house raging, started throwing things around, slammed his fist through the drywall. Unbeknowst to her, heâd stopped taking his meds a week earlier. Luckily he didnât get physically violent with her, but that was the end of the relationship.
Stay safe and all the best- hope itâs not hard to get him out.
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You are right. Somebody flipped a switch. He started ranting about things being âunhygenicâ, not taking his shoes off, ranting about the neighbours and a high maintenance friend of mine, mowing garden plants, pinching small household items, and making broad statements about the number of people here and how he would leave without the air conditioner.
I will keep you posted. Thank you for your concern.
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âShovingâ in the USA is Assault. It is likely the same where you are.
If my understanding of your law is correct, he is legally âJust a Borderâ. With just cause, which you seem to have, you should be able to have the police come over TODAY, wait while he packs, and escorts him out. The law is on your side and the police are obligated to follow your wishes and remove him.
If you have any kind of âemergency outside keyâ - time for a lockbox. Perhaps even redo the lock.
Your roomies should not have to be displaced at all! They have the right to stay with quiet enjoyment.
It sounds like you may need to be firm with the police - ASAP. This needs to be over today. Sooner the better.
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Ok boss.
Filing is confusing due to Covid. However I texted my terms to the boarder at 5 am.
Today I got through to the right police department. They are calling later for a report.
We went into his room and removed art of value and identified whatâs missing.
I am trying to change the combinations to the entrances.
Meanwhile if he tries to get in we are to call 911, the equivalent to 999, immediately. They will also be around for the eviction.
One of my friends is a very good ex cop and she will be around too.
We are going all female non smoking. If someone wants cannabis they can use gummies.
Donât know if he will be charged or if I need to testify.
You have all been a source of strength. I am most grateful.
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Be careful to not use the word âevictionâ with police, etc. Tenants get evicted and there is a serious process for that. He is a BORDER - entirely different rules and he should already be out, out, out.
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I deliberately bought a house with rooms vs. apartments so that evictions, boots in the behind, or hasta la vistas are very fast if need be. The ousted are all male, with substance abuse problems.
In 2 decades of being a host or landlord, this is the first involving physical violence.
Our new direction is all female and no smoking, but edible cannabis is ok.
He will be removed from my home with police assistance if need be. I will decide to go/no go on charges and/or any refund depending on how this goes.
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You will make the right decision. Itâs unsettling now.
Personally if I could give a refund to just be rid of him, I would consider it. But as you said, it all depends
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The relevant homonym is âboarderâ. âBorderâ is an edge.
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Heâs not a nice person.
He swore at you and gave you attitude. He disrespects your House Rules about your asthma and complains about everything that you canât fix.
This.
Always wise advice.
I have a âno boozeâ rule when having conversations with people whoâve already started trying to bully me.
Sit down over tea or coffee or water. Tell him what youâve written here. Then boot his ass out the door.
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My roomie/co-host and I are still putting the pieces together. The bottom line is that he shoved me aside. Prior to that, it was a sincere attempt on a Saturday morning to have a chat. Iâve had to supervise and work with a wide group.
We found 2 empty bottles of mouthwash in his room. Sometimes the smell of pot was so strong that my roomie was choking, so in all probability he was smoking there. I need to air the room out and mop.
Personally I liked the guy. But I cannot control another person. I sincerely tried to open a dialogue that worked for me previously, and was prepared to own and remedy any errors on my part.
I think I have done enough.
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It has long been established that people from BC are aliens, right along with Bigfoot.
But they are developing some serious stuff here too.
What we concluded was that he was smoking in the house. Thereâs also 2 big empty bottles of mouthwash. And his teeth are bad. And that can have scary possibilities.
Shoving me and swearing, screaming at me and arguing is more closely linked with substance abuse. This is no Gandalf.
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