Demanding guests

Joan, I so much agree with you - this is definitely male bullying!

I would hazard a guess that this guy is unhappy in real life, and feels he should be allowed to bully you because he paid for the privilege. NFW!

I have never heard someone carry on so about a freaking salad bowl. What is a ā€œlargeā€ salad bowl, anyhoo? How does that differ from a regular salad bowl? How about a salad plate? Do you have small soup bowls and large soup bowls? How about cereal bowls in sizes?

This dude needs to get over his Goldilocks complex and get a lifeā€¦

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The red flags were there. Lesson learned Iā€™m sure.

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Try to deal with them as quickly as possible: Not allowing them to stay :no_mouth:. Telling them they can leave if they are not happy. Or worst case scenario trying to get them out with the help of AirBnB.

I donā€™t know what other hosts that offer kitchen facilities think, but it may be a good idea to put a list of the kitchen supplies you offer in your listing. Since you have your kitchen stocked it could be a selling point, but more importantly it will quickly end any disgusting spectacle of this kind in your favor.

Please kill him in your review, and never ever ever offer a night for free when you are not at fault.

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He said a big bowl to Toss salad in. Which we have two. And he said they arenā€™t ā€œsalad bowls??? Iā€™m confused as To what they are then lol. Theyā€™re giant ceramic bowls everyone else makes salad in lol.
We also have actual small salad bowls for eating the salad in. we have dinnerware for 8!!

I believe that a salad bowl really needs to be wood, not ceramic. Canā€™t rub ceramic with garlic to infuse the oil properly, after all. I expect that is what he means, if ever so rudely.

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I provided two salad bowls. One medium one large. They are labeled salad bowls from a kitchen supply store as guests use a dishwasher and wooden dinnerware cannot be put into a dishwasher.

@GutHend I think putting a list of kitchen supplies in a listing is a really bad idea.

Most hosts have literally hundreds of bits and pieces. What guest wants to read through that when most donā€™t even read the basics.

Guests can and do break items and not report this. Then hosts could be held hostage if an item goes missing.

How are you getting on with finding a place to host by the way?

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I would just burry it deep in the listing. If people donā€™t want to read they can just skip, but once a discussion starts itā€™s easy to refer to the list in the listing. Such kind of a list would not have to contain every little item: Underpromise, overdeliver.
The idea is to manage guests expectations: What is a fully stocked kitchen?

August 31th last year we bought a 130 m2 apartment. After an extensive remodel we were able to move in barebones at the beginning of November, days before heading to Europe for 3 months. After that weā€™ve had several hickups :persevere: with contractors, but we really hope to open our rooms in 3 weeks. Fingers crossed!

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Let us know if you need wishlisting or anything to boost you.

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An anecdote; years ago a recently divorced woman moved in next door, not with her father but she might just as well have done so. He bullied both her and her mother, then tried it on with me with regard to claiming his daughter owned the small piece of land in front of our garage, so we couldnā€™t park there wtfā€¦ He kept blocking my husbandā€™s car in which meant he couldnā€™t get to work until the old git smugly moved his car. Then one day, he parked first on our ā€œpatchā€, Himself had to block him in in order to park and deliberately went by train the next day. When I got back from work first, he was jumping up and down, puce with rage, asking why I hadnā€™t told my husband he couldnā€™t park there. I had difficulty not laughing at him, opened the front door and found all the documents to prove it was our "patch. Ohhh, I had such fun showing them to him. Never heard a word again. And not once did he ever speak about the matter to my husband.

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I have experienced many guests (mostly men) who are very rude to the female cohost and polite to the male cohost. I usually have the male cohost enforce the rules and deal with male guests, while leaving the female cohost to be the ā€œcheery hostessā€ and deal with female guests. Sort of a good cop / bad cop situation. It sucks but thatā€™s the world we live in. I recommend you do the same.

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Lucky you! My (male) " cohost" disappears at the first sign of any issues; there is a dent in the bed where he hides. So I am cheery hostess and bad cop all in one, when needs must. His excuse is that Iā€™m the one who spent 20 odd years as a psych nurse. Iā€™ve started to tell people (those without presenting issuesā€¦) that he only speaks on Tuesdays, then rarely.

Personally, I will not put up with rudeness or confrontational behaviours in my own home, from either men or women. It is a rare occurrence, but I had two separate episodes in one month, last September. Some people are just up for conflict, and my MO is to firmly de-escalate, and ask people to leave if necessary. Some other guests overheard one episode and fed back that I sounded like ā€œMatron-who-will-not-be-disobeyedā€. Politely so.

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I agree I wouldnā€™t use the term fully stocked kitchen - too open to confusion. But nor would I put a long list of the thousands of items I have in my kitchen. Its much easier to say ā€˜my lovely kitchen includes enough cutlery, glasses and crockery for XXX, plus basics such as oil, salt, pepper, coffee and tea and the latest kitchen gadgets such as a coffee machine, blender and food processorā€™ or something similar.

Very exciting news about the new place, do post some photos when it is ready.

I am moving into a house soon, so will be starting from scratch again too.

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Congratulations. Does that mean my window to visit your current lovely place has closed?

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oooh, how exciting! Do tell us more, like will you be expanding? Whereabouts in Bristol? The Husband was at Uni in Bristol, well, he knows a lot of pubs thereā€¦

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best advice we ever received from a seasoned host was to offer immediate fee-free cancellation when a guest arrives upset. No one wants to explain to their partner or family that the problem is themselves or that the plan is changing.

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As a rule, less is better. Say less and do less to stay under the radar and avoid getting sucked in. A lot of these crabbers are just looking for some sort of rise or emotional response. Instead, just answer in a few clinical words reiterating where things are, etc. If you go out of your way to help this sort of person you are opening Pandoraā€™s box. No good deed goes unpunished.

I would rarely, if ever, do this. On a few occasions I have had couples arrive, not exactly upset, but with a clear anger/dysfunctional dynamic going on between them. Iā€™ve reached the stage when I now know they are going to cancel for some reason - cat allergy, not a whole house, no kitchen access, all detailed in our listing and my initial response. My observation is that one half is sabotaging the trip to punish the offer for whatever reason. Given Iā€™m not going to be re-booked for the night, my cancellation policy is moderate, that Iā€™ve spent time preparing for them and that itā€™s not my fault if they donā€™t read, NO REFUND.

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Not if you can get here in the next few months :slight_smile: Itā€™s then going on for long term rental.

But I will be continuing to offer Airbnb at my new place, once I have done some work to it.

I am sure I will be on here for advice and tips.

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