Delicate personal hygiene issues

OK, I’ve never had this before and I have been hosting since October 2014.

The guest is clean and nice but 2 things are super bothering me.

  1. He blows his nose in the shower and I have to clean off dried snot and boogers every day. I can’t tell you how much psychological trauma this is causing me.

  2. He has no sense of personal space or boundaries. Every time I leave my room he comes out and either greets me or just keeps his door open. Every time. I am a superhost and all that and I generally enjoy hosting. However, I am also value my personal space and I don’t think I’m supposed to chat with this guy every time I leave my bedroom.

He asked me if he was “doing everything right” but I didn’t know how to broach these 2 subjects with him.

I have 1 more night to get through with the Bogeyman.

Sorry I am really just whingeing.

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Approach him and say something like:

"You’ve asked me a few times if you’re doing everything right – I really appreciate you asking… not every guest is as considerate as you.

If you want to help, I can think of just one thing: could I ask when you finish your shower to spray the shower stall top-to-bottom with [hand him spray bottle of shower-stall cleaner soap and a scrubbie] and give it a good rinse with water. That’ll keep it fresh every day and be very helpful to me during my total cleanup before the next guest. Thanks for asking!"
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@spark has great advice.

Make sure that it’s easy for the guest to clean up after himself. Have a squeegee in the shower for quick tile clean-up. Have cleaning sprays as shown above.

There’s nothing wrong with telling him, nicely, to clean up after himself.

But he’ll be gone tomorrow, so if you’ve never had this problem before, you’re lucky! :slight_smile:

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I would consider that this guest may be on the autism spectrum. That he doesn’t seem to understand boundaries and is constantly outside your bedroom door ready to engage, coupled with him asking if he is “doing everything right” tells me he has trouble with understanding appropriate behavior, which he may not be able to help, and just needs some gentle direction as to what is and isn’t acceptable.

While the shower thing is gross, I would consider this a guest who is challenging to host in some ways, but not a “bad” guest.

As far as a guest doing something like leaving the shower stall in unacceptable condition, just as hosts would appreciate guests letting them know of an issue, giving the host an opportunity to addresss it, I don’t quite understand why a homeshare host wouldn’t talk to a guest about things like that. If the guest’s behavior is bothersome and the host would give them a lower rating because of it, we should at least give the guest an opportunity to correct unacceptable behavior.

Also, stewing about something for days instead of addressing it as soon as it becomes apparent tends to make it a bigger deal. If a guest’s behavior bothers you, say something right away and tell them how you would prefer they address it. If they are decent people, they will say something like, “Oh, I’m sorry- thanks for letting me know”, do as you asked, and you won’t be continually upset, counting the days until they leave.

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I recommend leaving cleaning products that you are ok for the guests to use. Even a mild product like Windex can be very helpful when a guest needs to clean up a spill they made. Guests should not be leaving food hardening on the floor or countertops with coffee stains… and they do not wasn’t to face their own messes daily. They will do what they need to do to make sure the kitchen table is not covered with dried soup, or the bathroom sink with spilled powdered makeup.

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One of the advantages of homesharing is that you can easily mention things directly to guests rather than have a long list of instructions and explanations.

I keep some cleaning supplies under the guest’s bathroom sink, as well as a broom and dustpan tucked behind the bathroom door. When they arrive and I am orienting them around their space, I say “There is some cleaning gear under the sink and a broom and dustpan over there- I don’t expect my guests to clean- that’s just for your own convenience in case you want to wipe something up or don’t want to walk around on a sandy floor” (I live in a beach town).

While many guests are quite happy to not have to clean anything, there are also folks who are clean freaks or would be embarrassed to leave a dirty bathroom, etc., so to me leaving them some cleaning products handy in case they want to use them is just like having an “in case you forgot something” basket with useful items they may or may not need.

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How did you review him?

I try not to let small annoying things an otherwise good guest does bother me, and just consider it part and parcel of hosting.

One guest I had was lovely, but an inattentive dishwasher- I would find most of the dishes she “washed” in the drying rack with grease and bits of food on them. Otherwise she always cleaned up after herself in the kitchen, wiping the counters, sweeping up any food bits on the floor.

I just surreptitiously rewashed her dishes, but I’m sure she would have paid more attention if I’d mentioned it- it just wasn’t a big deal to me.

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Well, being a homeshare host means we are sharing with all different types of people. Some are chatty, some squirrel themselves away in their room or are out and about most of the time and we see very little of them.

Whether a guest is being overly chatty because they have a hard time understanding boundaries or whether they are lonely or just a chatterbox type, if a guest is making you uncomfortable or monopolizing your time, you can say something tactfully. “I’m actually pretty busy most of the time, XX, and don’t have a lot of time to chat, but maybe we could have a cup of tea and a chat later, like around 4?”
Or “Don’t take it personally, but I’m actually a bit of an introvert and not that comfortable with a lot of conversation.”

As far as guests leaving their door open, I don’t quite understand the issue- lots of my guests leave their door open when they are home. Unless you have some rule about guests keeping their door closed, they aren’t doing anything wrong. (although I realize it seems this particular guest doing so meant he wanted to talk to you everytime he saw you)

Although I’m not a huge extrovert, I actually prefer friendly, chatty guests (within reason) to those who are reclusive, which to me feels like having some ghostlike presence around.

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Leave a review - they are for other hosts, like everyone here. Without a review, the next host will not be informed of your honest take on this guest.

The host who had him before you would have been able to ‘warn’ you of his activities and you could have made a decision to host / not host.

Always review - and make it honest.

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Write an honest review.

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In a shared bathroom, there should always be cleaning products available. Most guests would prefer to quickly clean up after themselves after they’d used the facilities.

Keep cleaning products under the sink. Keep another item /items there too so that when you’re doing the house tour, you can open the under-sink cabinet and say “I hope you won’t need it, but there’s a first aid kit here” (or whatever).

I’ve been chuckling a bit whilst reading this post because there are much much grosser things that could be involved during a bathroom clean-up. (Which I’m not going to itemise because I imagine that most hosts have had to deal with one end or the other at some time).

Just say “hey, it’s the middle of the night and I’m going to the loo” and if he’s still there when you come out just say “goodnight”.

And please, please review the guest. :slight_smile:

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Yes, of course, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. But is there a reason why you choose not to help out other hosts?

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When you received the request from the guest, had one of his reviews mentioned his ‘weird habits’ (we only know about the snot and the chumminess), would you have still approved him?

It’s important for all hosts to review honestly.

As @rolf said, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do but it’s a shame that you don’t want to help fellow hosts.

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Possibly because they realise that cleaning unpleasantness in the bathroom is part of the job? And didn’t object to his friendliness? Or they didn’t believe in writing honest reviews? I have no idea.

Your choice, of course. Hopefully you can’t blame other hosts for wishing that you wrote honest reviews?

@Mar Do you realize that reviewing guests or hosts is pointless if you only leave good reviews and decline to review guests with whom you have had a negative experience?

No one likes to have to leave a less than glowing review, but without reviews, both positive and negative, how are users supposed to make decisions as to who to accept or reject, who to book with and which listings to pass on?

If you only review when you have nice things to say, you might as well never review at all.

There are ways to write reviews that are factual that allow other hosts to decide for themselves whether they want to accept a guest or not. “XX is quite chatty and wanted to engage in conversation every time he saw me in passing” doesn’t make it a “bad” review. Homeshare hosts who don’t mind a lot of interaction with guests may not find that objectionable at all and would accept that guest, and hosts of non-shared homes won’t care at all. But homeshare hosts like you, who are uncomfortable with a guest who always wants to yak with the host, would at least be informed by your experience so they can decide whether they want to accept such a guest.

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Reason #1 to write an honest review: If the problems that you are complaining about were detailed in a review of this guest, upon reading them would you have hosted them?

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I see you are not going to reply re: if you had read a review that mentioned the issues that you came here to get validation about, would you have taken him as a guest.

I think not, and I think digging your heels in about “never giving a bad review” is not very professional. And we are professionals in the hospitality business. And I am sad when I encounter a host that is not interested in their fellow hosts and the hosting community.

It is hosts that “never give a bad review” that make our jobs harder and less safe.

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Wow, this thread is going downhill fast! I agree, all guests should be reviewed for the benefit of other hosts. There are tactful ways to get your message across, & possibly help the guest in future situations. Lighten up, Mar! We’re here to help.

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I don’t think anyone here suggests that we write “humiliating” reviews. As has been mentioned, there are ways to get things across without humiliating a guest.

But if a host has the impression that a guest would change their objectionable behavior if private messaged about it, that’s fine, too.

The point is not to get other hosts to decline the guest, it’s to get the guest to not visit the same annoying behaviors on another host, however that can be acheived.

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