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This was my initial thought when I first read your post.
The shower thing is just nasty and the guest seems to be indifferent about that. Already a reason for me take a star off for cleanliness as I don’t see why I should be his mom, cleaning up after his bodily fluids. It’s simple manners to wash down the shower stall to rinse off any of their left-behinds - same thing as giving the toilet a good brushing after number 2. I wouldn’t consider this an inconvenience as a guest but rather being respectful of the accommodation.
Opening the door whenever you left your room is another ball game for me. I cannot see how a ‘normal’ guest would take this as an invite for interaction?! It may be manic behaviour or ‘autistic’ but either way I would feel creeped out as well, especially as a shared space host.
We’ve had discussions before about guests having severe quirks where we hosts start to (unnecessarily) speculate about mental disorders but there were some reactions where hosts did agree that if a guest was suffering from some sort of disorder etc., communication is key - preferably the guest informing the hosts up front about special needs or support. This would also reassure the guest whether the host is understanding, therefore making it a good fit for them. I’d see that as a win-win. But apparently some people might just be completely oblivious about how their behaviour is perceived by others.
On a case-by-case basis I would address this directly with the guest depending on several factors. Same thing with writing a review. Plenty of guests and hosts don’t know how to write expressive and useful reviews, plus, like in the case of the grieving widow for example, they are completely useless as their situation this one time was completely different. It’s still a gamble.
Question: did you provide tissues in his room and/or bathroom for the guest’s use? His use of the shower might have been because the host did not provide a way for the guest to blow their nose…
I am. But whilst ever people want to discuss this issue, it won’t be closed. When interest stops, then it can be closed or unlisted.
Mar, please remember that this isn’t all about you. This site receives thousands of hits every day from new hosts, seasoned hosts and potential hosts.
Most of us here are aiming to provide information for all those people.
As you have seen, most hosts feel strongly about keeping the platform honest (and useful) by giving truthful, relevant reviews. You do not. That’s fair enough - everyone has a choice.
People reading here can read your views, and the views of others, and then decide for themselves how to run their own businesses.
As I said above, this forum offers advice to everyone who reads here. Not just you.
I can’t believe you’re seriously implying that a guest is forced to use a shower to clean their nose if the host is not providing tissues.
In an average accommodation you would first find toilet paper and/or paper towels in the kitchen to get the job done - not to mention that most travellers keep tissues with them.
To blame a host for not being able to clean their nose except soiling the shower with their dried snot on the walls WITHOUT rinsing is flat out disrespectful and obnoxious.
Nevertheless your post does bring up an issue that all hosts should be aware of. The more you supply for guests in the way of consumables, the easier the hosts life can be.
For example, and this is a delicate example admittedly, I am sure that a box of tissues and a bedside waste basket are reasons why I rarely have certain bodily fluids on the bed.
Items such as extra trash bags, paper towel, dustpan and brush, spray cleaner and so on are used regularly to help guests minimise check-out mess.
Although if someone can tell me a great way to encourage guests to take their bathroom trash out I’d be eternally grateful. Why is it that even the best, cleanest, tidiest guests almost always forget to empty the bathroom waste bin?
Smart Locks are the recommended setup for STRs in this group. Cameras at the entrance is pretty much a ‘must’ to make sure the STR does not have additional guests. Sorry, I know you bristle at being helped, with suggestions on how we hosts have solved these problems before - but members of this forum come here for those solutions.
“It’s not about you”…
We ALL do - that is literally what this forum is about - a group of concerned hosts who like to interact and help other hosts like yourself. Yes, we get the ‘venters’ who just want validation, and the panicky ‘what do I do right NOW’ folks, of course, but folks are very HAPPY to hear insight. It’s available 24/7, and prompt. It’s saved my butt many times.
I hope you review this newest guest so that other hosts are not confronted by THIS guest’s actions. We always recommend giving an HONEST review, since not giving other hosts the information they need to deal with this guest is just… wrong.
Understand OP was just venting, but opinions and suggestions happen on this forum.
The shower stuff wouldn’t bother me. Comes with the host territory.
I might write a review that said something like “Bob was a pleasant guest, although we were not as into late-night socializing as he was.”
It’s certainly possible the guest might be aware he has issues around social cues as he asked for feedback. I imagine some hosts would be comfortable having that conversation and others, as OP has done, would just wait it out.
If you read this thread from start to finish, you will see that completely opposite views have been expressed a few times.
Some people tolerate the snot as an “acceptable” if disagreeable part of being a host
Some people think its beyond the pale.
Some people didn’t have a problem with his “overfriendly” behaviours. Others do.
Reviews are subjective.
I have never in 10 years rejected a guest on the basis of a review, so im not sure how useful they are, as many people dont have the necessary skills or energy etc to write a very informative, interesting, diplomatic etc review.
I belong to the ones who don’t find it thrilling to clean up dried up snot. Yes, it’s part of our business and I clean it up like everything else. What I do find repulsive is the fact that this guest performed this ritual on a daily basis in a shared bathroom as far as I understand. As a guest, knowing that the bathroom (or other rooms may be shared) I would pay a little bit more attention not to leave any mess after using the rooms. Perhaps I’m alone with this opinion but in this particular case I think it’s disrespectful and gross.
I’m pretty talkative as well, and, as long as guests like to have good chat I’m all game. Again, in this specific situation to be faced with a guest who opens his door every single time the hosts exits hers is beyond being social in my book. That’s just inconsiderate to assume that the host would be up for a chit chat every single time. Gives me weird vibes.
Now now Rolf. It seems like you’re still trying to get validation for your strongly held opinion on “honest reviews”.
How would you feel if you told someone you prefered not to do something and that person kept insisting you should do it?
This is the sort of “thought experiment” you might use to logic with a child.
Writing to the guest privately is a perfectly acceptable alternative. As someone else posted, the objective is to educate the guest and prevent the behavior.
No they aren’t, not if you just state facts, which is what “an honest review” means.
Whether it would bother a host or not for a guest to try to engage them in conversation any time of the day or night that they happened to see you in passing is subjective. Stating factually that that’s what the guest did isn’t subjective.
Ratings are subjective, as what one host might consider a 5 star guest another host might consider a 3 star guest, depending on what we consider to normal or acceptable guest behavior and what may personally be annoying to us or not.
This is why ratings are not something I take much stock in- written reviews give me information, ratings don’t. We often read hosts saying they had terrible guests who had 5 star reviews. Or accepted a guest who hada 3 star review who turned out to be a lovely guest.
When I review guests, I state factually whether their communication was good (meaning they were polite, answered messages in a timely manner, let me know their arrival time and let me know if that changed, etc.), whether they left their space clean and tidy, as well as were respectful in shared spaces, whether they were self-sufficient and could figure things out for themselves without a bunch of handholding, whether they expressed appreciation or were complainers- things I figure other hosts would want to know.
As a homeshare host, I also mention if the guest was out and about most of the time, and I hardly saw them, as other homeshare hosts might want to know whether they were the type of guests who are busy, or just hang around the house all day. And if they were fun to have around, personable, had a great sense of humor, who I enjoyed chatting with, I’ll mention that. That part is subjective, but may be useful info for other homeshare hosts.
I am not determined to force you to review a guest. I was explaining the difference between what is subjective and what is factual. And no, we don’t live in a post-factual world, regardless of whether some people think there is any such thing as “alternative facts”, which are simply their beliefs and opinions.
If I write factual things about a guest, it is up to other hosts to decide if those facts are things that would lead them to accept or decline a guest, or question them as to poor behavior in a past Airbnb stay.
Your opinion of a guest and other hosts’ opinion of the guest’s behavior are subjective. Stating exactly what a guest did is not subjective.
So that the guest left his door open and wanted to talk to you every time you came out of your room, even when you got up to go to the bathroom at night, isn’t a fact?
