Comprehensive list of everything that could piss off a guest

The Building is OLD (Yes, This is Barcelona things are OLD)
@Malagachica touched on this ‘The weather was 35 and too hot to do anything but sit in the Air con’ UM, Spain in August!


Lizards? I would say geckos moreso.

But lizards and geckos are a bonus, not a drawback! Our guests get very excite when they see them in the garden … maybe not so much when they see a large gecko on the ceiling above their bed …

Luckily we seem to have very tolerant guests on the whole! …


While on the topic of geckos and hotels and everything:

(Gecko bit at about 2:30)

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Funny stuff! Just wish he wouldn’t laugh on his own.

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Aye that’s a bit odd. Does less of that now.

Bugs: “I saw a spider outside!” Someone call Terminix and tell them to exterminate the world.

Light: “There was no sunlight at night. I was promised sunlight.” Sorry, we extinguish the sun at night so the Vampires can come out.

Lock Issues: “The door didn’t open after we entered our code.” Sadly, we have not mastered the Star Trek swoosh-swoosh door technology and are reduced to forcing our guests to turn the door knob and push after unlocking the door.

Temperature: “The window air conditioner made the room too cold after a while.” Turn. It. Off.

Rooms: “There are other rooms in the house.” Why yes. Yes there are. It being a house and not a hut. Google it.

People: “There are other people in the house.” We mention that a dozen or so times in the listing and messages, but we can see where it would take you utterly by surprise.

Lack of Amenities: “There is no dishwasher.” Sure there is. Look in a mirror.

Owner Response Time: “It took the host 20 minutes to respond to my messages.” Beg pardon, but as an RN, the patient in cardiac arrest we were intubating at 2AM inconsiderately prevented me from immediately running to your side. I shall, in the future, insist they return to a regular cardiac rhythm with adequate cardiac output in a more timely fashion or just simply die faster. However, I thank you for your persistence in calling me no less that 15 times in that 20 minutes, thereby infuriating the normally very nice doctor I was working with in the middle of the night. You are an epic mighty speed-dialer.

Lack of Consideration: “They only left us a welcome basket on the first day.” Good to note you do not suffer amnesia. Sadly, neither do we.


Oh my God. Who are these people? Seriously, you have to wonder how they’ve made it this far in life.

We’ve been lucky, I guess, nothing too egregious. But one woman scored us low because of the traffic. Uh, yeah, it’s Seattle, fastest growing city in the country. So sorry I wasn’t able to build a personal highway just for my guests.


Me as well, on location. Sorry it is so far out (you didn’t read when you booked) but that is why it is uncrowded and quiet out here. I guess you would prefer noisy and bustling when visiting Hawaii. Sorry I cannot move the island around to suit your preferences. And I am sorry you didn’t read the million ways I stated where I am located and the distances from things. But sure, crack me on ACCURACY anyway!!!


I had someone complain both that their was no central a/c in April (I live in the mountains but it was warm that week) even though it was stated 3 times in our listing that we don’t have it, and he gave us 3 stars for accuracy because we put in a window unit the day before his stay, so it obviously wasn’t in the listing.

I’ve been knocked down on value due to the weather. Because obviously I am a wizard.

Someone else was unhappy that I didn’t provide chocolate milk.


My favorite is the complaint that the place smelled musty when it rained during their 4 day stay and they never opened a window.

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I suppose we have to add “complimentary bouncy castle 2 hours late”.


@Louise Complementary bouncy castle?! Sign me up!


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This has been really funny. In addition to the weather comments, and bugs outdoors we get I can hear roosters, chickens, goats, sheep, pigs…yep you can. You are renting a place on a farm. Oh, yes, and the dog barks. Yes, Livestock protection dogs do that as well. :smile: Thanks fellow hosts for a chuckle. Needed at this time living near Charlottesville.


I’ve had exactly the same type of comment! Luckily it was in private feedback but honestly - they came to Scotland in January… what did they expect??


Oh let’s not forget the guest who didn’t like the fan spinning the wrong way!


You forgot, too expensive. lol Yet people who pay more have far fewer complaints. The less they pay the more complaints they have. More willing to battle over every single one of those details. Yah we get a lot of road noise complaints, for guests who book in the middle of summer, they hate that there’s anyone around, yet in Antelope Canyon its back to back, lines and crowds. We are no where near that and yet, they complain that there’s anyone. I think they sense that they should be the only one, like the center of the universe concept. You should give them privacy but be there for their every whim. And yah weather weather weather. Every review is a weather report, and its not like it doesn’t change. I mean what do they think? Oh it rained while I was here and was a bit cold. And like its sunny in the next few hours, and people are freaking out that there was rain. I like that you said, what am I? a wizard? lol. We tell them that someone paid us to do a rain dance, and we’d have to refund them if it didn’t rain. And how dare you not provide chocolate milk? LOL. We serve coffee in the mornings and they don’t even know how to use a thermos. Each one has to be walked through opening a thermos.

Ceiling fans do have directions, though. They should spin counter-clockwise in summer to bring up the cool air and clockwise in the winter to push down the warm air.


agreed, but any numbskull knows how to switch the fan to run opposite. This wasn’t a guest of mine btw. Someone here shared that gem. :rofl:


well, maybe we can get Alexa to run the fan, with corvidae’s swish swish lock, with facial recognition, that will automatically use a guests profile photo to facially recognize and approve the guest, and scan the room for bugs and dispose of them while dusting the area before the guest can blink. I’d pay a million for that.