Can we all try to get along better?

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People being unpleasant to each other online is a significant issue, and I commend @cabinhost for bringing it up.

I don’t think I have much new to add to the discussion, but I’ll mention that some online communities have a formal Code of Conduct. For example, here the Debian Code of Conduct. This is quite a recent thing - the Debian Project has existed since 1993, but they’ve been having problems too - hence the Code of Conduct.

I’m not necessarily advocating this forum adopt a formal Code of Conduct, but it’s something to think about. I don’t think that this is currently a major issue here. This forum is much more positive than many out there. But unchecked, these issues can escalate and become more serious. So it’s definitely advisable to be aware of these tendencies.

I generally recommend people online, as elsewhere, to remain courteous and civil, and “professional” with each other, regardless of the provocation. Imagine that your interlocutor is an aged grand-aunt from whom you are hoping to get an inheritance. :slight_smile:

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Thank you for the suggestions everyone. The mods and I will have a review and come up with our own Code of Conduct.

Thank you for the long time members and all the other passionate hosts out there!

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Uncle Faheem, you’ve always been my favorite ! :smiley:

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Apologies in advance if I offend anyone, but I’ve got to say that I have found this thread really quite upsetting.

Although I totally appreciate @cabinhost’s motivation in trying to be fair to everyone, especially new posters who, it seems, may have been put off by the somewhat boisterous tone of some debates, I’d like to present an alternative view.

It’s true that there is a real problem with the forum and this is that it’s heavily populated by, well, people … people who are usually well-meaning and often kind and helpful but may be feeling jaded, tired, impatient, or just plain contrary on one particular day. And yes, some of us are more tolerant and laid-back than others but the advice you receive may be no less valuable if it comes from someone who may come across as sharp or brusque.

What I also seem to have noticed more lately is new posters who have a legitimate query, but if the tone of one answer is not couched in the terms they find suitable there is a tendency to take offence rather quickly and accuse the person who has replied of rudeness. This can escalate into a full-scale battle and the “newbie” (how I hate that term!) stalks off feeling hurt. So I’m saying that if we are expecting longstanding members to be more thoughtful in their replies, we must also ask newer ones to perhaps be more accepting of replies that may not be to their liking. And this is, I think, what the majority of people do.

I like @GentleHart’s description of our forum as “dynamic media” and wish to keep it that way. I find it one of the most useful, interesting, challenging (yes, I’ve sometimes been burnt as well!), lively, entertaining and sometimes downright hilarious forums I’ve ever belonged to and I put in a plea for caution before trying to change it too much.

Oh, and a big hug to all the Mods - it can be a thankless job!

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Funny how a post about peace devolves into war, but posts about war come around to peace.

Signing off Meow!

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Calling something out for exactly what it is is not being passive aggresive, it’s direct. Ironically something you noted that you do. I agree that you are more than likely one of the more abrasive commenters here and it’s unfortunsts, as a lot of the advice you provide is spot-on.

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You are coming across quite defensively. Just listen.

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Thank you for posting this. I am a newbie to this forum (and am not debating anything) but want to relate my experience (of course!) as a newbie…

IMO there are too many gd holier-than-thou ’keyboard warriors’ trolling the cyberworld these days, and too much back and forth bickering online in general, not just here. That is just a sad fact. It should be noted as well, that it is quite easy to completely misconstrue a person’s intent with cyber talk. I’ve been called names on here and I have also lost my temper myself on here (in my defense-over an issue that was serious and life-altering to myself and my family’s livelihood). Afterward I received a message from another member asking me not to leave the forum, because they appreciated my posts and had seen many previous newbies scared off by similar interactions. But for me, that would be a childish reaction to something I had complete control over-my own actions and interpretations of others’ actions. Plus, why would I leave an awesome site that has helped me tremendously with hosting?

The fact is, the whole of the online universe (I include myself here), could do with a bit of a smackdown. We all could stand to be more accepting of opinions when it comes to posting online comments. I am a direct and no-nonsense type of person. There is never malice in my words. Never. But I have been called names by people whom I have obviously rubbed the wrong way…. usually when I’ve called someone to the table for posting bullsh*t—js! My way of speaking, (or someone else’s), may be a form of communication to which another is simply not aculturated.

We’re all adults here and I feel this forum is RAD-in every way, shape and form! I have been hosting vacation rentals for 10+ years, but before finding this forum, I had never even known about the Chrome App, many of the ins and outs of Air and its policies or felt such a level of understanding when I’ve felt burned out or stressed as a host…and that is thanks to Konacoconutz, K9Karmacasa, Sandytoes, Cabinhost, Catskillsgrl, Helsi, KenH, Guthead’s polls and funnies…and all the other host commenters, (whom I have no idea if they are moderators or not, but are clearly seasoned hosts), taking their time to offer their knowledge and support to strangers, like family. :purple_heart:

When I see someone being accused of malintent, when that is not how I read it, or nothing could be further from the truth, I find that much more offensive than a helpful person offering advice…in their own way of speaking. The fact is, if I choose to flip out over something someone else says, then that’s on me. Squarely. If you are someone who is [routinely] getting your panties in a bunch over something somebody typed on here (or anywhere), to the point where you feel the need to resort to name calling/behavior calling, ….then be honest with yourself-maybe the problem is with you. Human to human, I will care about you anyway, but saying that some is “rude” or “aggressive” or “argumentative” or any other similar shite I’ve read here and elsewhere, when you have no flipping idea of that person’s mind or intent, then frankly, you need to check yourself. Telling someone they’re rude…is rude. Lol

Being a moderator is probably not an easy job. I appreciate you moderators, experienced hosts, and everyone else posting on here. My hosting world got much better as a result. Thank you very much, with sincere gratitude. :purple_heart:

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Tom, thank you for all you do for all of us by generously providing we hosts with this forum. You must be a special one!
I am most grateful.

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I was beat up for being first time who did not evict my very first guest when he disconnected my fully disclosed exterior no sound surveillance cameras (two …one front door one back door). Worse though? The GUEST got access to my post…that did not name guest…and wrote me that the Airbnb host of this forum. " thought I was out of line and I should be ashamed of my ‘antics’. No thank you…ready to quit Airbnb…

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your house guest read your post on this forum and quoted other hosts post at you?

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Glad this has been posted, I have mainly stopped posting here as have observed some nasty bullying (mainly on political stuff, not as much on the Airbnb aspect which is ironic!) and don’t want to get involved with it, shame really as it is a good site. In my opinion, if several people complain they are being bullied, the accused should be sent a warning notice and if it continues, then banned.

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Pending your clarification on how your guest got access to your post I’d like to remind everyone that this is a public forum. No one has to sign up, become a member, pay anything or buy anything in order to read the posts here. There are advantages to joining the forum but it’s not necessary in order to read the posts.

Just google the words “he disconnected my fully disclosed exterior no sound surveillance cameras” and you’ll see what I mean.

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I am gone then
bye Airbnb

Moderator - frankly I have no clue but all captured on Airbnb emails - as I stopped the texting to me directly - then had to CALL Airbnb to say cut off contact - and with no offense to working people in the world - transferred X 2 to offshore Phillipines helper - I get it - but the whole experience has soured me from Airbnb -

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This forum is not owned by, moderated by or controlled by Airbnb.

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I’m left dumbfounded by your two posts. You say that you don’t want to get involved in nasty bullying, but then go on to pick someone out by name, accusing them of being aggressive because of their politics? I somehow smell double standards here.

For what it’s worth, I find Helsi a very reasoned, measured and evidence based responder on any topic, political or not.

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