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There have been quite a few complaints about members being cruel to each other, ganging up, bullying, and not being helpful. Long time members have said this recently, and this seems to be a common theme with newbies feeling this way too. I promise you I am not directing this to any specific individual/individuals at all, and at the same time I am not excluding myself in this message. This message is for everyone:
Please try to be a bit more compassionate when a poster is going through an issue. Try not to kick them when they are down. Our group is running newbies and long time members off. Even old timers have said many of us can come across as arrogant, condescending, etc. Letâs all use the scroll button if what we say is likely going to tear someone down. You can be truthful, but also not make someone feel badly about themselves.
Iâm really not trying to create a debate. But just a request that we all try a little harder, and I will do the same. I also donât think a lot of newbies are wanting to leave just because they donât agree with advice given. Itâs the tone and manner in which it is delivered.
I have an order for myself when Iâm in a position of experience or authority â such as with my kids or my staff â and they bring a problem or issue up. Iâm human too and I mess up and donât always follow my own approach but I try to:
First, listen and express sympathy.
Second, help the person figure out what can be done right now to fix things or make them better (this is where you bite your tongue and refrain from saying âyou should haveâ or âwhy didnât you,â which can make people feel stupid, embarrassed or defensive)
Third, if applicable, discuss with the person what can be learned from the experience and what they can do in the future to avoid the problem.
A forum doesnât represent long term personal relationships, so this is just food for thought and not suggesting I have some superior methodology. Part of the fun here is the different online personas, including the more peppery ones.
@cabinhost, thank you for putting into words what I have been thinking for a long time. Several times, I have resisted giving my own advice for fear of ugly comments in return.
While I truly believe that nearly all of the advice disseminated here is in âgood faithâ, itâs given in the same way as an educated doctor would dispense their advice and opinion, but with a terrible bedside manner.
People that post a topic here are often in a vulnerable position, having just had some âincidentâ that has occurred, and is looking for both advice AND support. Thereâs a time for tough love, but perhaps done in a more gentle way.
Hey Lynn, In a previous post on another conversation (one which you said you would no longer follow- which is why Iâm posting here) you mentioned having a paper in your units that describes the differences of 5 star reviews between Airbnb and Hotels. Would you mind sharing that document?
I provide 2 pieces of information about the reviews but not how the ranking system differs from hotels.
When the guests check in there is a welcome sheet on top of the suite manual. This is what the first few two lines say:
âWelcome to Your Suite.
Your AirBnB review is very important to us and we hope that your stay will be 5 Stars!â
Then when I send the check out message on the day of departure I also included a memo which I modified this week because I was being called out about how I was bribing my guests for reviews. That was never my intent but because I never want to risk Airbnb shutting me down, I did modify it this morning. These changes did help to to bring up my reviews.
"Thank you for staying at our suite in Melrose.
As a reminder, check out time is 10 am. When you leave, please send a quick message via the Airbnb Messaging App.
When you check out, please shut off all appliances, air conditioners and shut the suite 's from door and the red door on the first floor.
I hope your stay in the Boston area was enjoyable.
We hope that your review will be a 5 Star Review! Five star reviews help our listing being found by future guests and let them know what our AirBnB is like. Also, we will write you a review that will let hosts know what itâs like to have you as a guest.
AirBnb only gives you 14 days to write the review and as hard as it might seem, the time will fly by once you check out.
Warm Regards,
Lynn"
3, Another thing that seemed to help was making a point of saying hello to the guests and small chit chat (if they want it) once during their stay.
FYI - On my check in sheet I also have space for feedback and I have listened to the comments and added things that I thought were necessary. More lighting in kitchen, sharp knife and cutting board, Storage rack in bathroom. Some I ignore (if you take out the carpets the place would be cozier but of course noisier for me who lives below_ but some of useful.
Sadly on-line forums in general have become a place for the bullied to become the bulllies. I appreciate the reminder to abide by the golden rule, âTreat others as you would like to be treatedâ.
No two people are alike. This forum is rich with people of various ethnic backgrounds, differing nationalities, different perspectives, and wonderful other differences. Basic courtesy is always appropriate.
I am probably one of those being complained about for giving direct answers when asked for advice on these forums. But I am also capable of being empathetic and spending many hours giving advice to hosts who post here with a problem and then are never seen again.
I didnât find that comment to you to be passive aggressive. (Comment has been removed by Cabinhost now). Simply a reminder to you that the majority of active members on here are also experienced hosts, who learn something regularly from being part of this forum. Just because we are experienced super-hosts doesnât mean we canât learnâŚOtherwise why would we come here and ask for advice?
However you quoting her and calling her comment a âpassive-aggressive gemââŚis in itself rather ⌠âpassive-aggressiveâ
It would be great to see your using your experience to contribute responses to other hosts who may need help around issues you have knowledge about.
One of the issues might be the fact that on a forum, you might answer the question the same way that the last 10 people answered. Person asking for help thinks theyâre being ganged up on? I donât have an answer or solution for it, but that seems to be what happens.⌠Someone talks about their issue, many people chime in, then the original person starts complaining that theyâre being ganged up on. Maybe thereâs a way so that new people are forewarned that many of us want to help, in our own way, and that. getting the same response from 10 people which goes against the original posters thoughts is Informative, not negative.
I also see people coming on either not understanding airbnb or not understanding the consequences of their actions and getting angry when their perspective is not agreed to.
When a new host comes, there was discussion on changing the header logo to the new one to make sure the newbie knew this was not an official airbnb forum. What happened to that?
I think it would be more clear from the get-go if it didnât match airbnb quite as much.It would help the newbie to know it wasnât official airbnb - therefore they might be more prepared & know the risks before jumping in that we are just a group hosts that use airbnb (and other platforms), not an official airbnb place.
Hi everyone, Iâm a bit of a newbie but been around mainly picking up good advice over 12 months or so.
My feel for original post is we should just let it rum (i.e. The forum). Yes there are issues and yes lifeâs not fair, but imo the danger of intervening to persuade different behaviour to op postâs is to undermine a dynamic media. After all we are all grown ups and should be able to take CONSTRUCTIVE critiques.
@Liz007 I can understand. That is a reason I really like the logo change that is discussed earlier in this thread.
Interesting tid-bit, my superhost âawardâ included an invitation to join a Superhosts ONLY chat forum very similar to this one but on the Airbnb website.
I understand. All of our lives we are subject to âconstructive criticismâ.
Sometimes it is not âwhatâ is said but âhowâ it is said. Sometimes things come down to semantics. Maybe viewing it as âhelpful commentsâ instead of âconstructive critiquesâ would help some people understand how to present their ideas in a kinder, softer tone.
Yes, it is! I quickly discovered that it definitely was not a sanctioned ABB forum, and itâs SO much better than the âAir Communityâ. Much more homey, IMO, people actually come back and are not just âone and doneâ posters.
