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I’m new to hosting (only 7 months in) and am on my 12th guest. All up to now have been easy to get along with and a pleasure to host…until number 12!
The guest has booked for 5.5 weeks but today marks 2 weeks and we aren’t getting on well at all.During the first week there were a few niggles but nothing serious (one of which was clearing a cupboard so he could store his food in there, perfectly reasonable of course and potentially a slip on my part)
However, during his first weekend here he vacated his room on both days leaving the bedroom window wide open.
As there is a single story extension under his window at the back of the house I asked (after the weekend) if he could close the window when he left the house and nobody else was here for security reasons. His response was “you leave your window open for all to see?” As my bedroom window is at the front of the house (a flat fronted terraced on a quiet street) I explained that for me this wasn’t as much of an issue.
At this time I also informed that I had a potential permanent lodger visiting to look around for later in the year and would he be OK with this. No problem.
The guest had left food on the side in the kitchen (teabags and cereal) so as part of tidying up I placed them in his food cupboard during the day. Later that night he returned to the house and asked why I had done this. I explained why and said I had cleared more room for him as I thought maybe he didn’t have enough. He started shout at me and demanded that I came into the kitchen where he was and took his food back out of the cupboard for him.
We spoke a little afterwards and I managed to calm him down.
The following two days I returned home to find the rented bedroom windows wide open again and contacted Air on how best to handle this. They advised that I should send a more formal message to him via the app. I did this and the window situation has resolved.
On Friday morning he suggested that we weren’t getting along. This was because of the window problem and because when he returned home on Thursday night the garden gate was shut rather than left open and I was upstairs packing rather than downstairs to greet him. He took this as ‘a sign’ that I was asking him to leave and that he would move out after the weekend. I agreed this was fine (it’s his choice of course) and offered to help him find somewhere new. I went away for the weekend and today he tells me that he has changed his mind and wants to see how things pan out as to weather he stays or not
I’m now super uncomfortable with the idea that he may blow up at me again randomly and actually that he may/may not stay (which leaves me with an unknown factor)
Where do I stand if I want him to move out because I’m no longer comfortable in his presence. I’m starting to feel like I don’t want to come home I case he is here!
I would want him to leave, no matter what. Life is too short to not feel comfortable and safe in our own homes, for any amount of money.
I’m sure no other host here would agree with me, but I would, no matter what my policy is, refund for nights not stayed.
I absolutely refuse to be not comfortable within the confines of my own home ever again.
You are way more patient than me. I would never let him stay the first moment i heard him shouting at me. I would cancell his reservation,lost money, but he would be out of the house immediately. He is disturbed, it obvious. I could not sleep in ahouse with him present. Its not up to him now to stay and not stay. You want him out, he should be out.
Call Air tomorrow or even now, and tell them , that the dude is violent and you are afraid for your safety. Cancel his reservation and refund him whatever is left there.
Only one objective is best, for him to leave. Whatever it takes. He who looses control over such trivial things, is indeed a ‘loose cannon’. The whole window and cupboard scenes are absolutely absurd. Little wonder why you feel uncomfortable.
I don’t agree you should cancel his reservation as you will be fined by BnB and the time blocked. It would be better to speak to follow up with BnB reiterating that the guest has been shouting at you and you don’t feel safe. They should then cancel the booking and may find him somewhere else.
I do hope your listing attracts last minute bookers. He booked 5.5 weeks on a flexible cancellation policy? It sounds like you must be in an area where you can fill those dates if he leaves?
I don’t even follow the whole story. I just cannot imagine the scenario. He leaves his cereal and tea on the counter. Potential buyers want to see the place, so you put the items in his cupboard to tidy up. He comes home and asks why you moved his items. You tell him you were tidying up for the showing. Then he proceeds to shout at you and demand you take his items out of the cupboard and place them back on the counter?? Did I read this correctly?? If so, he needs to go now!
I can’t even imagine what he is saying while he is shouting - please do share if you wish.
You did read that correctly. His basic arguement was that he felt they were fine were they were and as they had remained in that place for three days (initially I thought I would give him a little time to find places for them) he saw no reason for me to move them.
After he’d calmed down he said he had no problem with me putting them away!!!
The day before (Monday) he had asked me to move some model cars off shelves in his rented room as he wanted the space. The following day (Wednesday) he asked, with some insistance, that I put them back as “It really doesn’t matter to him”
Although I’m not a mental health professional, I used to know someone with explosive rage disorder and your guests behavior sounds like the behavior of the person I knew. If I were you, I would feel unsafe having this guest in my house. If I were you; I would call Airbnb and explain the guest’s behavior. I think it’s a safe bet that they will terminate his stay and not penalize you in any way.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, long stays can become a problem. Familiarity breeds contempt. I’d rather have short 1-4 day stays of more guests. Just my 2 cents
