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Am I Just Being a Soft Touch!

I have guests here at the moment who are just over stepping the boundaries as far as I’m concerned. She started when booking asking what was the best price I could do for a two night say, I didn’t waver from my usual rate. When they arrived she wanted to use the tumble dryer, no problem. Then they kept coming into our private living area asking for this and that, even though the information sheet asked them not to come into that area of the (enormous) house as it’s our home.
Now he’s asking if he can make pancakes using my kitchen, as I can’t do it on their now 6th day. Yes, they negotiated to stay longer, and she wanted a receipt. All seems fair enough, but not all with the same couple. I just feel a bit invaded.
They fill out breakfast menu which they give us the night before. It’s a pretty decent menu, with all home made dishes, but they ask for extras like extra fruit and blueberries in their pancakes.
I have been entirely pleasant to them, having just heated up their left over pizza tonight, and will remain so. My question is, am I being unreasonable, or just picky?

The word that jumped out at me was “invaded”. The guests have their own private space and yet they are constantly in yours. Maybe this would be a good time for you to have a pleasant afternoon going shopping or being otherwise unavailable for a long stretch.

Why are they so fixated on pancakes?

They sound entitled and clueless, but I’m not sure how you can turn it around at this point, since you’ve let it go on so long.

In their review they will probably complain that the pancakes had blueberries when they wanted raspberries.

Is there a door you can shut or preferably lock to keep them out of your private area?

I personally have never booked a shared house Airbnb, because I know myself. It is 100% certain that I would be walking on eggshells, holed up in the room, afraid to even use the bathroom, all out of aversion to putting the hosts out. It hard to fathom how people like your guests can be so presumptuous.


Your guests are entitled and clueless. You are cooking them breakfast and they’re asking for extra blueberries? That takes chutzpah. You are entirely within your rights to enforce your boundaries and you certainly don’t have to pay for additional portions of expensive ingredients for them.

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The combination of kind-hearted people like you @inthewoods and genuine users always leads to an unfair situation.


Personally I had people asking me stuff over and over maybe twice out of 40 guests and only on the day of check in. Maybe I’ve been lucky? If it did happen the full stay I’d get a little annoyed. But I’d get over it.

Yes, you are being a soft touch, but, let this just be a lesson learned…boundaries are something you will make much more clear and stick to with your future guests.

Are you saying that breakfast is included in the listing, and you will be not be able to make breakfast one day…so they want to use the kitchen to make pancakes??

It sounds like they are pushing boundaries because you didn’t give into their request for a discount. I went through this last month. The guest through VRBO did the usual “this is our budget BS.” I didn’t budge. She finally came back wanting to book. Then it was “oh I don’t have access to scanner to send back the contract. I can send it in a couple of days when I am in the office.” Then I said they could text a snapshot but I don’t hold dates until payment and contract are received. Contract was sent immediately, then crickets on payment.

I didn’t think anything of it as some guests are just tire kickers. Then, day before their dates they pay the invoice and say child was sick, and didn’t want to commit beforehand. I honestly think they were waiting to see if I would reduce my rates last second. I didn’t. They paid full price but were particular one evening when my partner was going to take care of the lawn. He was caught off guard. Long story…but lawn never got done during their stay…their choice. I had to confront the wife and ask her if my partner upset her husband. She completely denied it, and then paid me many compliments.

They left and then let me know there were no sponges to clean the kitchen. I let her know I only provide dish cloths to clean dishes, and paper towels. I felt a couple of things they did were passive agressive. They have not left a review. So hopefully they will not.

No damages…just childish behavior is all.

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What does this mean? Are there different people staying??

Thanks Garden1Gnome,
Actually they get the entire basement which has two bedrooms, their own bathroom and living room with dining area fridge and kettle!

I had guests last weekend that told me all about their last host, who made them breakfast every day (hint hint?), I pointed at the basket of snacks, coffee maker, and bowl of fruit on the counter and said, “here you go, I made these just for you!” :grin:


I had guests like that early in our hosting days. We provide homemade muffins, homemade yogurt, fruit butter, jam, coffee and tea (and now thanks to Susan, granola) and tell the guests that they are welcome to cook hot cereal or eggs. We had a family who believed that it was bad for ones’ health to eat food that was room temperature or cold. One of them told me that she really liked the hot breakfast of mixed grain cereal that their prior hosts provided. I let it roll off my back.

Where were they from?

They only live a couple of hours from us.

What I meant was that it seems a lot of demands from just one couple. They are the only ones staying

@inthewoods - I read all of the replies to your thread.

I find I am constantly tweaking my listing, House Rules, and House Manual to avoid ludicrous behaviour similar to what your guests are exhibiting.

You are providing a lot of services many of us do not.

I tend to just go, “okay, next time there will be a house rule that…” and tolerate it for the duration.

Is it Paris Hilton and her man of the day in your room? For Pete’s sake!


Aren’t you glad that you didn’t give a discount? Blueberries and fruit are quite expensive, but of course, they know that. There are some people that you bend over backwards for because they are just good people. And there are others, who invade your private space, rub you the wrong way, and you begin to resent that they ask for too much. When do they leave? We could start the count down clock.


What I hate about these types of guests is that they put you on the spot to ask for extras, you acquiesce, just to attempt to get a good review, and then later in the review you are shocked to read how whatever you did wasn’t good enough. Even if you served it on gold plated platters with diamonds on the side it wouldn’t be good enough.

Be firm in all the rules up front and it should go a long way toward avoiding these kinds of people and their bad behavior.

I’m in agreement with garden gnome, I will never book a shared home either. Hotels for me all the way.


Speaking of food. and for comic relief. I have a guest incoming who flatly told me:

'I am on vacation, I have no interests in cooking and intent on having all meals catered in". Really?

Me: "Bird Island is a SELF-catering adventure. Its is 6 miles of open sea between island and mainland and bringing out trays of food bouncing around in a boat 3 times a day is not going to work."
Delusional Guest: 'Ok maybe we can have a cook out there?'
Me: “No problem, consider it done” (gave her the price; only local Creole cooks available)
_Delusional Guest: 'I will bring a menu with me so she would know what we like. She will do the food shopping right?"
Me: “Best if you two go together to do that”. (so she gets a clue this is not Safeway we talking about, its the local Chinese store selling mostly cheap brands)
Delusional Guest:"I hate food shopping."
Me: “I don’t think this is going to work.”

(Radio silence thus far)


I have been putting out fresh fruit - some combination of bananas, apples, grapefruit or oranges - for guests but very few people eat it. So now I tell people that I provide fruit on request. My guest last weekend said “oh please, I’d love some fruit” in the email and so I went out and bought it. She gets here and then suddenly it’s “oh, I don’t really need anything”. Ugh. Fortunately I never buy anything I don’t want to eat myself, but I am still annoyed.

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