Wishful Letters to Renters

Thank you so much for your rental this weekend. We really appreciate it and hope you had a nice time exploring Gold Country.

I hope your lab had a nice time at our home. He was very quiet, unlike his owners. I know you were having fun and we all strive to get some release of everyday stresses. The games of Drunk and ShitFaced must have done just that for you. It sounded like those games were a blast to play, especially at 1:30 in the morning. By they way, I did move those two games from the top of the coffee table to under it, when we had the Real Estate folks coming through. Who knows if they would appreciate the games as much as you certainly did.

Speaking of that, thank you for being so accommodating in allowing us entry to the home to turn on lights in anticipation of that tour. I did neatly line up all the boots and shoes at the front door. I didn’t disturb the 6 bottles of red wine that where strewn about the kitchen counter tops. However, noting that two bottles of schnapps were empty, I took the liberty of putting them in the recycle bin.

I’m sorry that our queen bed squeaks so much. I hope it wasn’t too disturbing to your several episodes of humping. I know noises can get in the way of…

One last thing. I went up to the driveway this morning to retrieve the Sunday paper. We do have a self appointed curmudgeon in the neighborhood who would have been dismayed to see one of your cars not fully pulled into the driveway. There are lots of elderly folks who live here and like to take morning walks. It would have been an unfortunate accident if they had not been aware of your car being partially on the sidewalk during their stroll.

Thank you again for your rental. I hope you have a safe drive home, inspite of any hangovers.

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Dear Renters from outa state.

Thank you for your 4 day rental this past weekend. I hope your 18 yr old DD’s wedding went well, inspite of her morning sickness. Its a good thing that we have three full bathrooms for use when the need calls.

I did have a question about something I found in one of the rooms. Its a dollar bill, rolled up so very tightly, and I mean TIGHTLY, that it won’t even squeeze. I was debating what it was and how you might have forgotten it. Luckily my husband, more aware of such things, told me what it likely was used for. Also luckily, I didn’t find a razor or anything other stuff. Oh, and the tattoo parlor you own back there, has quite the clientele. Those pictures are amazing of the full sleeves, and other tats on your FB page.

Oh, when I was removing the garbage from under the sink, I noted several things that had been tossed. One was an unopened wedding card to the Bride and Groom. I suppose that was purposeful. I did open it to see if perhaps there was a gift card or check, but no. I see that you, Dad, had no reason to keep the can cozy that was printed with “Father of the Bride” or the can cozy that was printed “Cory and Danielle - 2-18-17”. Maybe these were extras, but somehow I’m saddened to think of you tossing these mementos.

Well, thank you again for your rental. I hope that the massive drive to back home went well, since we were having flooding, roads washed out, and such. I pray that the time on the road will have softened your heart a bit and that you’ll welcome the little one due this summer into the family.

Bittersweetly yours…

Just a reminder that this forum is public and google searches will work to find posts here.

names and dates and state have been changed.

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It is very easy to get burnt out in this business, for sure. Murphysranch, I hope you can focus on your best guests and try not to dwell on the ones you don’t want back. And, yes, I will be taking my own advice. lol !!! :smile_cat:

I don’t understand? Do you want us to critique this?

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Very good reminder for us all.

Nah. Just getting the things off my chest by writing them down. Wishful letters - sometimes you wish you could send your guest a note like these. I always send my guests real thank you notes via the USPS, when I have their address. Of course, they are pleasant and thankful thank you notes!

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Are you bothered that guests use there bed for more than sleeping?

I hear yah. I would like to write few venting guest letters of my own. May a better caliber of guest book your place in the future.

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Not at all. Its happened many times.

I was venting in a humorous way. I’d be glad to take this down, since its upsetting to some.

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[quote=“murphysranch, post:13, topic:12188”]
since its upsetting to some.
[/quote

I hope you aren’t interpreting my remark that way, although I do have tattoos. :grin:

Not at all. No one is upset. It’s perfectly fine and there is no need to take it down!

Hey Murphysranch, on an unrelated note, is your house for sale? How do you handle that with renters? Can I see your listing? We are in a similar situation and I think it hurts bookings but would like to know how to present it to future guests.

I am not upset at all! Keep the letters coming, they are good fun !

We’ve had our home up for sale for 9 months with no result. I do occasionally have Realtors ask to show it. I’m by appt only for showings…

When I give the week prior instructions to renters, I say the lock box is hanging on the chair next to the Realtor’s box. Hint #1
When I give blah blah, I say there is a for sale sign out front to help you find our home. Hint #2

I’ve probably had 7 - 8 showings while renters were here, and each of them had no issue at all. I ask them to do NOTHING. (hence the reason for my tongue in cheek letter to renter about their stash). They are usually out and about when the Realtor comes thru and all the Realtors know we rent out this house to help make ends meet.

But do you review them accurately?

Oh yes. What I wrote to myself above is just venting and laughter at the idiosyncrasy of all of us humans!

So good to know! :slight_smile: