What's relevant?

I’m struggling with what to include or not include in this review. We had our first (and only) long term stay recently. She was a lovely person. Very quiet, good communicator, and left on time. We visited a little during her stay and I felt like we had a pretty good repoire.

BUT, she did not come until a week into her stay. Instead, a family member moved her in. He went through the apartment inspecting safety features, and then insisted that it needed a second carbon monoxide detector WITH a propane detector (we don’t even have propane). I agreed to buy another CO detector before our actual guest arrived, but then the next day her relative went to the store, bought one, and tried to get me to discount her monthly rent to pay for it. I told him that I had already ordered one.

I’m not exactly sure what all he did, but something he did made our lights and tv flicker. He left ALL electronic items unplugged when he left. He also left the tenant an wrench and told the tenant to turn off the gas if she thought she smelled gas. You know, instead of just leaving the premises and notifying us.

He also wanted to move the bed to the living room. As this was a long term stay, and a single tenant, I told him I didn’t mind moving the furniture, but that I would discuss with the tenant and if she wanted it done then I would move it. I specifically told him not to move anything, but he still disassembled the table, moved it to the bedroom, and moved the entire bed, frame and all, to the living room.

This was irritating - I don’t want the liability of a guest hurting themselves in my home because they’re moving furniture AND I don’t want my walls getting scuffed in the process. Then the tenant left the apartment totally rearranged. I guess it’s good that she didn’t move the furniture, but it took a good part of a day to get the apartment back in functional order.

Finally, the tenant bleached out ALL of the wash cloths she was left with her face wash (I guess?). So I had to spend the other part of my day going to the store to buy WHITE wash cloths and towels. Admittedly, I should have done this in the first place. But here we are.

So my question to other hosts is, what do YOU want to see in a review about this person? Do you recommend her or not? Aside from the wash cloths, most of the issues we had were with her family member, not her.

I’m a believer in leaving reviews, and I want to be honest with future hosts. I know not to go too much into detail, but I just need help figuring out how much of this is relevant, and how much is me overreacting.


I understand that your issue was with the family member but the problem originated with her. What would I like to see? I’d be happy to know that she was a good communicator, prompt in leaving and a nice person. But I would also want to know that due to her (insane) family member, you would not recommend her as a guest.

I would probably consider hosting her from that info (although I do not do long term) but you would have warned me that her family member was a nutjob and I would not allow him anywhere near the place. With your factual review I’d know what sort of nonsense to watch out for.

I (and other hosts, I think) would be grateful to you if you pointed out her good points AND the problems she created via her family member and the washcloths. Also the fact that she didn’t turn up for the first week - if I’m understanding you correctly? Anyone not arriving on the day of booking wouldn’t get in to our place.

It all sounds pretty flakey to me.


Well you didn’t ask, but there were a number of mistakes made by you that created this situation.

Why on earth did you allow the family member entry to the house, allow him to make his kooky inspections and then dictate to you about what to add for the supposed safety of the place?

That someone was making these demands didn’t mean you had to acquiesce to them.

So I would let the washcloths go, review the guest as the lovely person she was (don’t hold the relative’s actions against her] and mention in the private feedback about how much the relative’s actions bothered you and that while you take responsibility for allowing him entry to the house, in the future she should discourage it. Or something to that effect.

In the future also you must take charge. Don’t let the guest or the family member run the show.


“Do not recommend. The guest’s family member came in advance of the guest at the beginning of the stay, disassembled and moved furniture without permission, and left the guest tools and instructions to disable the heating system. The guest was amenable but stained and ruined several towels.”


This was definitely a situation that almost caused me to cancel the reservation. Originally, she and her family member were scheduled to arrive together. She was in town for work, but part of her job requires frequent travel. She notified me well in advance that she had a change of schedule, but didn’t want to cancel or change her reservation. I was okay with the arrangement because it was communicated and planned ahead of time.

Of course, I had no idea the family member was a total nut job. And when we discovered he was, we considered canceling the whole thing, but our guest was so gracious on the phone, and thanked me for tolerating her family member, who she obviously knew was nuts. And he was only there for one night, so we decided to bite the bullet and let it slide.

But yes, there are things I would do differently if we had a similar situation in the future. I’m just looking for what the most useful review would be in this situation.

The guest was “amiable” I meant to say darn spell check. Oh my, was I tougher than Kona? How is that possible?


Well I just gave you my thought on the review. Don’t penalize her for it.

Was the nutjob on the reservation? If not, I would have told the girl you can’t allow him entry, sorry it’s because of insurance or whatever.

But you know this now.

1 Like

Yeah that is harsh. Just tell her in the feedback that the guy almost got her reservation canceled.

Your review makes the host seem like someone who was walked all over! :rofl:

If she was a nice guest, she deserves a nice review.

Honestly, maybe you can educate me here. I frequently have guests who book for themselves and 2 or 3 friends, or a spouse, or children, or what have you. I know who is coming (in this case I knew who the other person was and what his name was) but I find that seldom, if ever, do people actually link their guests Airbnb accounts. This has never bothered me. If someone tells me they are coming with their 2 friends, and 3 people show up, I don’t really bother investigating further. Do you require their accounts be linked or that they show IDs?

I’m not following… what do you mean linked?
If I take a reservation from Jane and she’s bringing John, he is accepted.

If John and Jane meet Donald on the beach or a bar and want to bring him back, NO, that is not allowed.

Are you saying nutjob was on the reservation? If so, that throws a bit of grease on the fire.

In that case, I would have canceled their reservation immediately upon the first hint of kooky behavior.

I guess it was a weird situation in that the reservation was for her (just 1 person), but ahead of time she notified me nut job would be with her for the first night only. I allowed it, because I was notified of who, when, and why. And it didn’t seem necessary to add a second person to the reservation for just the one night. Maybe I should have altered it, but I just didn’t think it was important.

However, all this correspondence was on the air system, if that makes any difference.

In any case, it wasn’t like she just randomly showed up with a person I knew nothing about.

But this is like bringing an unregistered guest. Doesn’t matter if they notified you.

All would seem okay…except it wasn’t.

And this is exactly why you don’t allow it in the future.

You could have said, no sorry. Only guests officially a part of the reservation can be in the home or on the property. This is due to security and insurance concerns. I hope you understand.

Live and learn.

Make her aware privately that his behavior almost cost her the reservation.
She needs to control him or something. Was it her dad?

@Ashb24 - “I just need help figuring out how much of this is relevant, and how much is me overreacting.”

Frankly, my first thought was that you were under-reacting.

What an incredible situation! I couldn’t believe you basically stood aside and allowed your guest’s relative to take over your rental property. With his first demand for a propane detector, I would have shown him the door. From then on, it was a comedy of errors. The actions and reactions…of all parties…simply astounding.

Beam me up.


I gotta agree with @SandyToes – You were 'way under reacting to the situation. To let someone – or their relative – is completely out of line and never should have happened. You should have canceled the moment 'cousin started moving things around. This is your house dammit, not theirs!

I also agree with @konacoconutz – Public review: the Guest was nice. Private review: The guy was so far out of line you almost canceled her stay.


Well, I didn’t know he had moved furniture until after he was gone. He was only there for less than 24 hours, and I do not access the property when guests are there. So, once he was gone and I discovered he had moved furniture I could have cancelled, but I figured he was out of my hair, and the original guest seemed like a much more reasonable person. And she was. As I said, my only real issue with her was the wash cloths, and I feel like she was young and maybe didn’t realize what she was doing. Or maybe she did and just didn’t care. But she never struck me as rude or malicious.

In any case, you’re saying that a host who may one day get a request from this guest, that you would not care to know via another host’s review to watch out if she’s bringing family along? Irrespective of whose fault the situation was, or who should have done things differently, the question really is, is the situation you would like to be warned of as another host? And you’re saying “No, it would not impact my decision to book this guest, and knowing this would not make me leary of allowing her to bring her family member along.”

No because allowing the family member entry was on YOU.

In other words… you needed to take charge here.

The guest was fine, this isn’t about her really. Simply warn the guest in the private feedback.

Xx, I left you a great review because you personally were a great guest. And we enjoyed having you. However, I must warn you that due to the actions of your cousin, I almost cancelled your reservation and almost included his actions in my review to warn other hosts. So please please, do not allow this guy to precede you when you check in a place.


Without a doubt! Yes I would like to know about this as a host. She booked him in for a night, this was purposeful act on her part. You are reviewing what actually happened at your rental with this booking. If someone travels with a pet I expect a review about that pet even if I think they don’t always travel with a pet.

This fellow was far worse than any pet I’ve hosted.


Did she officially book him in though? He wasn’t officially booked in.
Therefore he qualifies as a guest of the guest and could have been denied entry at that point.

I’m just really not sure how whether or not there was an extra number on the reservation impacts how this impacts other hosts. I should have changed her reservation to 2 people instead of one, but that’s a potential liability that never even materialized. I knew he was coming, I just didn’t memorialize it properly in the reservation. I still would have accepted the booking had it been for 2 adults instead of one.

And I didn’t know the extent of what he had done until after he was gone and not returning.

So how does that detail change at all how you feel about the potential of this pair coming and staying at your place? She could book your place and say “my relative and I are traveling together and would like to stay at your home.” And you would be none the wiser until he arrived.