I would think the perfect host for a shared home listing would definitely be different in some respects from a host of an entire place.
I’ll address the shared home host, since that’s what I know.
You have to be observant as to how much interaction a guest wants. The vast majority of my guests have been much the same type of people as me, so it hasn’t been that challenging. We do our own thing a lot of the time, easily chat in passing, carry on conversations if we’re both using the kitchen at the same time.
Sometimes have long conversations and laughs over coffee or a bottle of wine. It’s all quite easygoing.
If they are up in their room, I never disturb them unless it’s for some important reason. If the door to their room, which opens into the same balcony that leads to my room is open, I might call out to them to make sure they’re not doing something private, to say I’m going to the store, do they need anything, or find out if they are planning to be home for the next hour, in which case, I wouldn’t bother to lock the door to the kitchen/ living room area (my house has outside entries to different areas, it’s not like a typical house in temperate climates)
I’ve had some guests who are more private- they are either out or up in their room, and might only use the kitchen to get some water or keep some beers in the fridge- they eat out. Those guests I’m friendly to in passing, but I don’t try to initiate conversations or be chatty.
When guests arrive, I show them to their room, point out light switches, let them know it takes a minute for the hot water to work its way up to their shower, point out where the clean towels are, etc., then tell them I’ll leave them to unpack, relax, shower, nap, whatever, and when they are ready, I’ll orient them around the kitchen, show them how the kitchen door lock works, etc.
I just try not to overload them with too much information at once- most have had a long journey, might be quite tired, or feeling disoriented, etc, which isn’t the most opportune time to show people how everything works. Once they’ve relaxed a bit, it’s a better time.
One thing my guests really think is great is that I offer to pick them up at the bus station when they arrive (not mentioned in my listing) and drive them back when they check out. I’ve only ever had a guest drive to my place twice, and that was because they rented cars at the airport.
That’s my main underpromise and overdeliver They’ve all been really appreciative of the ride with their bags. The other alternatives are a 20 minute walk, or call a taxi for $5.
Another thing about being a “perfect” home share host is that you have to have some tolerance for the fact that guests may not do things the way you would. You may like your kitchen counters nice and clear when not making meals, but your guests might tend to leave little piles of their groceries sitting out. You can’t be a nit-picky micro-manager and home-share successfully.
And lastly, I don’t think anyone should host a home share if they are simply in it for the extra money. You should like people in general, and not mind sharing your space. I’ve seen posts from home-sharers asking if they can make a rule that guests have to be out of the house from 10 am to 4 pm. because it drives them crazy having others around. No one wants slug guests who just lay around the living room all day, but that just seems bizarre to me, to list a private room, but resent guests being in your home.