What should I do if I suspect my food is being used by my hosts?

I hope not too, and that it’s just a cultural misunderstanding or something. I posted here because I wasn’t sure where else to post.

1 Like

I can answer you as a host… who has hosted students for years and now hosts on airbnb…

I give each of my guests/students their own container with their name on it for the pantry… for the fridge/freezer they also have their own container/shelf.

There is also a shelf on the top of my pantry that has all the food that can be taken by anyone… e.g. flour and sugar…

I also have a different colour of towels and sheets for each guest, 2 sets each for change.

This is the best way to avoid confusion, no one takes from the other…

BUT… if they leave food on the stove or bench i DO throw it out, I am very particular about food hygiene… we are in a hot climate and food spoils quickly.
If it’s left outside I consider it inappropriate behaviour towards me and the others living in the home.

6 Likes

Maybe it’s just me but this seems like a silly discussion with no possible resolution. You go away for a week, it’s the host’s fridge, she can make the judgement. And you go back and forth about eating her food. Buy smaller sizes and don’t leave food on the stove. It’s not your house!

2 Likes

To be honest, I can’t believe you are complaining about someone throwing away milk and tea, that’s over a week old (amongst other issues).

As a host, if you left your food out overnight in high temperatures or food/drink in the fridge for over a week, that could go off, I would throw it out too.

Both are food hygiene risks.

Rather than confronting your host, as suggested above, have your own shelf in the fridge and cupboard and keep small amounts of food there. Don’t leave cooked food out on work surfaces, which could go off.

If I was a host, I would be upset with how you were using my kitchen.

2 Likes

I get that it’s hard for you to do but for some reason you are stressing over this and spending your valuable time posting here. Is it really worth the time and effort? (Especially as now you’re going to spend even more time asking other people.)

Why not use your translation app and say something like ‘Hi Host, I’ve noticed that you’ve thrown out some of my food - maybe you didn’t realise it was mine? I’d be so grateful if you could leave it as I’m on a tight budget, Would it help if I bought a container? Thanks you so much, I really appreciate it’.

Done.

If she continues to do it then you’ll just have to put up with it, eat out, keep only non-refrigerated foods in your room or whatever other solution suits you.

If she was an Airbnb host :wink: she’d be concerned about you having a good time so comply with your wishes.

1 Like

AIrbnb is different from homestay as hosts accept strangers who are mostly short terms. Homestay is more personable i think ,because you are staying with a family. The more i read about this situation the more i think that though it bothers you its not a case of anything malicious. I am not even sure that she is lying. Its a bit weird how she throws your milk away, and ice tea, but to be gone for a week and leave milk in there for some people might seem like it could have been spoiled .
Also the fact that she offers you food speaks for itself that she is a kind person who is willing to share. I know its a very poor country, and every penny matters, but she still offers you food. But if it bothers you i would ask her to not do it. If my guest asked me to not do it, i would just stop, its not a big deal. Or i would explain to a guest that he/she cant leave for a week and leave all this food in a fridge to take up space, or any other explanation.

1 Like

First of all, I would not ask her family and friends what you should do. Just don’t even go there. Don’t you think that will get back to her? Just make sure the next time you put something in the fridge - tell her that you prefer she not throw anything out even if thinks it’s too old to eat. Or at the very least just ask her friend or family member to translate this for you and they can tell her. But I would not even mention the idea of her stealing your food…even if she is.

I think you have a host mom on your hands who is a bit antsy and a bit of a control freak. But didn’t you say you left out food overnight on the stove? If so, why would you not clean up and put it away?

She may be eating it, and maybe not. Some people are also just germophobes. I had a friend who I allowed to stay with me while she was on hard times. I came home one day and she was proud to tell me about all the cleaning she did and how she threw away all my expired condiments. I was pissed! I will eat things way past the expiration date, but she thought she was doing me a favor. As long as it doesn’t smell spoiled, it’s good enough for me. But this person was also wasteful with many things. Some people will throw away leftovers after sitting in the fridge for a couple of days.

As long as you are not taking up more than your allowed space in the fridge, she shouldn’t be busying herself with your items. That’s why I think she may be antsy and always needs to be doing something.

And yes, sometimes host moms will take advantage of their students.

1 Like

I am perplexed by all the responses stating that it is within the guest’s rights to leave food out on the stove, leave food that the host perceives as spoiled in the refrigerator and leave partially drunk drinks in the refrigerator. I can see many unpleasant consequences for the host. The guest seems to have no training in basic food safety. If the guest gets food poisoning the host will have to arrange medical care across two languages not to mention that the guest will be in the bathroom all day. We once allowed a friend to stay with us. He was in the habit of pouring drinks for his children then putting the undrunk portion in the refrigerator. Virtually every time he did this, the drink got spilled by someone who was reaching around it for something else. Not to mention that ice tea gets moldy very quickly, much sooner than a week.

Also, the guest keeps saying that the host is lying. It sounds like the host is concerned about safety and cleanliness not that she is dishonest.

I see you responded to me. I didn’t say it was okay for a guest to leave the food out on the stove. I did comment that I did not understand why he would do that and not clean up after himself.

The OP said the milk was thrown out before the expiration date - when he returned there were still a few days left before the expiration date (maybe I read that part wrong). He also said the iced tea had a tight lid and would not spill.

Regardless, the guy is obviously old enough to navigate on his own in a foreign country, without being fluent in the language. He should be able to decide for himself what is spoiled and what isn’t. The food industry would like us all to believe that food needs to be thrown away when it is just fine.

According to U.S. food safety I would need to throw out an egg sandwich if it is outside of the fridge after so long. But I took lunch boxes to school my entire childhood and not once did I get sick for not having a refrigerated lunch box. All of us kids walked with our brown paper bags and didn’t get sick from our lunches.

1 Like

expiration dates on milk cartons assume that it is ok until then to be OPENED. Milk from an opened container has a shelf life, and does not care what the carton says.

1 Like

I see two issues here. Food being thrown out unnecessarily. A new liter of milk should last much longer than a week. If it wasn’t thrown out then the host took it and lied and that would be the second issue. If the host is compulsive about food storage/age/etc., they should make that clear to the poster. I think if I were the OP and this continued to bother me, I’d just stop leaving leftovers, buy and consume smaller portions. Changing the host’s behavior is harder that changing your own. If I were the host and my student was leaving food on the counter or stove and not put away in sealed container I’d be annoyed and tossing it as well.

1 Like

I just re-read the original post and maybe MonCalamari can clarify for us:

"I have a feeling my host is taking my food for herself because many times that I’ve put leftovers in the fridge or left them for a while on the stove, they’ve disappeared by the next morning and I was told that they spoiled and had to be thrown out"

I’m wondering if he means that if the food was left out on the stove for a while (and NOT overnight), it was dumped in the trash - still no excuse for not cleaning up immediately in host’s kitchen.

Also, is it the leftovers in the airtight containers that the host is throwing away the following morning? If that’s the case, I say host is eating the food!

The whole thing is just a storm in a teacup. The guest should simply tell the host that he won’t have her throwing his food away, preferably politely and preferably also offering to buy a cheap container to hold his own supplies. He should also clean up the kitchen after he has used it and not leave food out or on the stove. That is not difficult.

1 Like

Best solution yet! On the Airbnb community “board” I saw the same recommendation. Give the guest the entire shelf in the fridge, not just part of it because stuff invariably gets mixed together. I give them the bottom two drawers, sometimes just one if they don’t have much stuff. This totally avoids the situation MonC has gotten into.

Also, as a side note. This is an Hispanic household he/she is living in. I know it’s a generalization, but in my experience, especially in Mexico where I’ve traveled some, everything is considered community property, especially food.

2 Likes

I’m making an assumption that @MonCalamari is on some kind of educational programme or exchange - is that right?

In which case: [quote=“MonCalamari, post:7, topic:6909”]
It’s not like I’m going to go bankrupt from the food loss and the rent is very cheap for what I’m getting, so perhaps I should just ignore it and take it as a fairly minor setback in an otherwise good situation?
[/quote]

Absolutely - you’ve got it! When you first go travelling as a young person (another assumption!) the strangeness of your surroundings, unfamiliar language and customs can sometimes crystallise on some little irritation that wouldn’t normally bother you. It would be a real shame to let this grow until it coloured the whole of your travel experience. El Salvador is still a poor country compared with the US and it’s possible your hostess may be trying to show that she’s not so poor that she has to keep food that is “spoiled”. So it could be a bit of misplaced pride, or yes, she could be stealing your food to eat herself as she reasons that you, from rich America, won’t miss it.

Either way, you’ll probably never know, and you can either let it fester, or take some of the reasonable advice given here about tackling it non-confrontationally or … just laugh and treat it as part of life’s (and travel’s) rich tapestry!

I do hope you enjoy the rest of your internship in that fascinating part of the world!

I think you’re right on the ball here. I have a bit of a problem myself, I must admit, with this idea of “my” food … probably lived in Spain too long! Here, food is for sharing, and since the lady in El Salvador shares her food with her guest she probably thinks it’s fine the other way round. She is, in fact, paying him a compliment by treating him as part of her family. personal boundaries in Hispanic cultures are much less important than social cohesion, as anyone who has sat next to a noisy family in a Spanish restaurant will know!

1 Like

I agree. It’s pretty silly really. The host, her family, whomever, just ate the food that was there and then tried to smooth it over with a lame excuse.

Buy a Sharpie (indelible marker) and label your food like they have you do at HI (Hostelling International).

1 Like

Okay, I think there’s been a bit of confusion regarding some of the details here, so I’ll just clarify:

  1. I do not regularly leave food on the stove overnight… I mentioned a one-time accidental occurrence just to be specific with the details, but all other times it has been food in containers in the fridge that have been disposed of.

  2. I do not regularly leave food sitting around in the fridge indefinitely… the food that was removed had, initially, been there OVERNIGHT and, in the case of the milk, it had not expired yet and has lasted well over a week in the past. In fact, there is still a two litre container of hers in the fridge with the exact same expiry date as mine, just to give some perspective. Also, she is definitely NOT a spoilage freak because there are containers full of food and drinks that she bought that have been sitting there since God knows how long. As for the iced tea… uh, it’s iced tea. It doesn’t spoil after less than a week, assuming it ever spoils. To argue otherwise is ridiculous.

  3. Again, it’s not so much the taking of the food as it is not informing me of it in advance, as well as, if it is being eaten, not being honest about it. I haven’t done that with any of her belongings.

Hope this clears things up and thanks to everyone for their responses.

2 Likes