The Games People Play…

Preface: checkin opens at 3p. $20/hr early checkin fee. Well communicated. Smart lock access. Programmed for codes to activate at 2:45p (little grace period)

Now…why are you trying to get into my house at 2:15p (literally using the code over and over and failing). No phone call. No msg. No PERMISSION ASKED.

2 visits ago someone showed up at 2:25p and I was still there…all sweaty and finishing up landscape maintenance. It was an innocent miscomm on their part & I gave them access; they offered to pay and I declined.

This time…I fortunately went early to finish prep so wasn’t there. The person called me after trying to get into my house unsuccessfully 3 times. I answered cheerfully & didn’t say anything about them trying to use the code. The gentleman said, “We’re here early,” and I said, “I see. Checkin is at 3p and there’s a fee…”, gently cut me off and said yes he knows about the checkin time and fees.

Well good! Then why are you trying to get into my house 45 min early w/o permission???! So, I apologized that it’ll be hot in the house, said I’d turn down the thermostat now, update their access code parameters after I hang up & then I unlocked the door remotely so they could proceed.

Normally I’m pretty lenient about that early access if it didn’t cause me schedule changes or extra work. But I felt his approach was wrong. Just contact me. Say you’re about 45 min early, you’re aware there’s a fee, is access possible? 8/10 times I waive the fee. But not when it’s done this way.

I wavered in my mind and then sent the payment request. Why? Because…”give an inch…”; that’s what I can see with this one already & I had some other clues prior he wasn’t really reading my messages or taking them seriously. Sigh. I felt like if I didn’t demonstrate I’m serious about my handful of rules now he’ll nonchalantly disregard other more important (to me) ones.

New traveler. I feel it’s my job to help him learn the STR way…and that you don’t try to creep into someone’s home before you’re due. That’s not ok in my book. I’m not as bothered as I sound…just dreading the review now. Oh well. Time for a cider :roll_eyes:

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He should be dreading his review not the other way around.

I had a guy do something similar once and I got the distinct feeling that there was an element of a man who is not used to being challenged. Maybe it was sexist or classist or maybe I’m looking for something that isn’t there.

Then that’s it. Honestly think I would have ignored his call.


:joy: Oh, man, wish I had that kind of backbone! I mean, I was trying to give the benefit of the doubt that he was just being naive/hadn’t read my messages, but when he dropped the “I know about…”, I was like, hmmmmm, ok.

The great thing about the locks with the time frame functionality is that it removes the emotion from the issue. There is no reason for you to be available 24/7 within minutes. I think a host should always be available or have someone available after check in time but if he decides at 2 pm he is ready to check in he shouldn’t expect that he’ll be able to get what he wants last minute.

Yeah, the guy that pulled the 1 pm arrival on me did it to my face. Harder to ignore then. I talk a better game than I play.


Yeah! I’ve had that in various scenarios. Especially here in TX. I don’t even include a personal pic on my profile any longer, for many (some creepy) reasons. And my husband is listed as a co-host but he’s got nothing to do with my rentals.

I sincerely hope I’ve misread my guest. We will see.

A little giggle…I forgot to turn off the Ring doorbell alerts (do so once guest is checked in) so when it popped up the picture he was on my porch bench removing his shoes. It’s a “suggested sanitary practice” not to wear shoes in my house when viable but the rules state there is no penalty for keeping them on. Guess he’s taking me seriously now :joy:


My guests don’t get the code for the door until they arrive. :wink:


I had some tricky guests recently (family of our next door neighbor :expressionless:) who wanted the code at 10am so their family could drop off some food and items before their arrival. Our check-in is clearly stated at 3pm, including in the message sent a few days before arrival. Our cleaner hadn’t even arrived yet. WTF.


:face_with_raised_eyebrow: I seriously don’t know why I still get surprised by these shiesty behaviors. Good grief. I had a nextdoor neighbor inquire about his family staying and I quoted some crazy high daily rate and that was the end of that :sweat_smile:


Oh I learned my lesson :rofl:

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I like including a male for security reasons.

My very pretty neighbor mentioned her husband in her rental description, In her profile pic with her & in the contact information posted in the condo. Sadly he died. Awful. Later when clarity started to return, she said, “Oh, I need to fix my listing & take out Xxxx.”

I encouraged her to leave him in. I think it has potential to help her avoid some problems.

To be blunt: pretty, widowed female, clearly has some resources because has rental property, & not accustomed to being single in today’s world. She needs time to adapt to being single & develop trust discernment skills.

I’m not saying women can’t stand on their own feet. Unfortunately there’s a lot of people who will take advantage of situations.


Absolutely. If I wasn’t seeing something like that unfold right now I’d hardly believe it. Checkout the series “Clickbait”. Seems like exaggerated fantasy but these things happen. My sister-in-law’s “step” MIL is being catfished & will listen to no one. She’s a 70-something widow (approx 3-5 yrs), sold her house (no one knows why & she now has no money w/ no explanation as to why not), has been asked to sell her car and move to another state to marry a retired ex-marine who she has NEVER spoken to or seen in person…just on-line romance. It’s appalling. I don’t know her personally and I’m aghast she can’t be stopped for her own sake. It’s sad and scary.


I like including dogs for security reasons.


As a single woman who home-shares, I can say that all my male guests have been nothing but respectful and sweet. I have never alluded to there being a man on the scene, and am not a fearful person (when I look back on some of the foolish risks I took in my youth, I can’t believe it).

And I do have a 70 pound dog. She’s a barker at strangers, but I don’t know that she’d attack anyone who was trying to do me harm. She’s never even bitten another dog when she’s gotten in dog fights (most instigated by her and not really fights, but shows of dominance).

I’ve said before and will say again…

Every host here is, statistically speaking, more likely to be victimized by someone known to them (upstairs neighbor dude, cousin Ed, guy in the next cubicle) than a stranger who registered a name and credit card on Airbnb.


Yes—a former guest who liked the neighborhood so well she purchased her own condo 6 months after her husband died—she quickly met a fellow and things got serious quickly. I think her reality check is she wants to leave assets to her son. I feeeeel (no proof) she has fallen too quickly. I don’t trust him but I don’t trust easily.
He wants her to move to Virginia with him. (550 miles)

She’s in love ……

This is true. However financial Grifters can sniff out vulnerable people. I’ve learned a couple difficult lessons and we women think if we love someone we must be supportive. No longer me…if he needs $$ he can figure it out.

My ex-husband had alcohol & substance abuse issues. He found a lovely, generous, widow who I believe he sucked dry financially until he died. So so sad.

Btw you know your old when you talk about ex-boyfriends & Ex-husbands who have died.


Depends. Living on the west coast of Canada, I knew or knew of plenty of young guys who died, leaving young widows and kids. . Logging accidents, fishing accidents or drownings, one treeplanter I knew was killed by a grizzly.

I have arrived early at rentals because it is difficult to plan exact arrival time. If its a remote area, arrive no more than an hour early, and I don’t have many options for killing time, I usually text the owner but also see if the code is activated yet. I always offer to pay for the early arrival. You might consider a tasteful sign on the code box saying “Your code will not work until 2:45 PM unless you have made arrangements for early check-in in advance”. Then ignore your phone unless you are open to letting them in early.


Yes, there’s a right way and a wrong way. I know you mean no harm at all, but I can’t support the 1 hour buffer…too many times I’ve been wrapping up 20-30 minutes before arrival due to my personal schedule & I need that flexibility as I do this alone.

Trying the code 5 or 10 minutes early is one thing. But 45 minutes, especially when you’ve already been indifferent to communicating, doesn’t sit well with me. I clearly communicated the parameters & requirements and he was presumptive at best, inconsiderate at worst, IMO. Maybe oblivious.

I know we just had an entire thread discussion on technology, but I believe in this day/age w/ cellphones and free map apps & built in nav for some, ETA isn’t that hard to know once you start the engine…especially if it’s arriving early (vs late). If this was unplanned, he only had to reach out to me in a timely manner and not assume.


I used to offer early check in with a fee until someone put it in a review, “seems kinda transactional”. F that. Now I do not offer it, but usually about an hour before check in I send a message that the place is prepared and they can check in anytime. I do not open the driveway gate unless I am ready for guests