SCARY difficult Guest checks out then demands to check back in - Airbnb issued full refund

[mjfmjfmjf]

after many years hosting, experiencing a difficulty that genuinely makes me want to leave the platform entirely, but hoping for useful advice / that this is useful for someone else.

i had a guest check in to the apartment unit on the back of my home with his girlfriend thursday. i cant hear normal bedroom stuff at all, but immediately they had super loud sex where she was screaming from the living room, near the door to my home - nothing to this degree has ever happened before with hundreds of guests, but i tried to just play music, put on headphones. then again. then again friday morning. followed by a big screaming fight btwn them in which he was yelling what sounded to me like pretty emotionally abusive stuff, and to “get the f*** out” while she was crying, begging, etc. he carried her bags out, etc. as a woman who lives alone, and having seen the young woman was very young when i met them, i felt worried, alarmed, and honestly, kind of scared, not to mention my dog was visibly shaken. on my exterior security camera, i see that he storms out friday night and doesnt return. the next morning, i go to visit friends an hour a half away as planned (first time leaving my house for a night in a year and a half!) his stay is booked til monday, but he returns at 5:30 saturday with a different woman, goes in and grabs his things, then an hour later messages me “Just a heads up, checked out early. I left the door unlocked and key on the kitchen counter near the sink. Thanks!” my check out instructions say to lock the door as you check out, and my rules say to never leave the door unlocked (im right in the middle of a very urban fairly low income neighborhood) and that reservations can be cancelled without refund if this or other endangerment of my house happen. i message asking if he can please go back to lock the door, but im so worried i call around and find a friend who drives my house - not only to lock door but to close windows that were left open.
sunday afternoon he texts that he has decided he will be staying til monday and needs someone to meet him there to let him in. i say thats not possible - the keys are locked in the unit as he’s checked out. he starts threatening. “Since you want to play the door left unlocked “card”. I’m going to have fun with this one - thanks airbnb host leaves place and blames guests for not doing the property manager work when mistakes are made. so blames guest instead of self for being too greedy for property manager.” im alarmed, get in my car and call airbnb while heading home (earlier than planned.) i explain in addition to not offering random spontaneous check-ins after guest checks out, that im not comfortable with this guest / i dont feel safe. the phone agent says she will write the guest to let him know im uncomfortable - i say please dont do that, i fear that will make him retaliate more. she says let me look what is offered if i (the airbnb agent) try to cancel the reservation - then says that my no refunds policy and the breaking of my rules make it such that she can cancel his reservation from that sunday - monday without him getting a refund. i stated explicitly i wasnt willing to take any options that refund him entirely, and she assures me with this option, he will get no refund. she even states that “he has just written you more harassing messages - so we should do this now,” i say ok & she hits a button and—
HES GIVEN A FULL REFUND. for the entire weekend. my payout is shown as 0 and he writes me “i just got refunded because you were in the wrong. facts are facts.” i got off with this agent not understanding thats what had happened, but called back once i did. i got home and there are dirty dishes in the sink, stored winter linens they pulled down and stacked in piles they had sex on (so i have like… 10 loads of laundry no joke) and written with the fun magnet letters on the metal bathroom wall (where people usually write “i <3 u” or “thank you”) is “BIND HER.” so… thats cool. put extra locks on my gates and slept with the lights on.

ive contacted airbnb again and they confirmed - full refund for this guy, but they can offer me 100$ for damages. i turned my listing off, feel REALLY violated and let down, cant even believe this is how this turned out. ive tried to “escalate” this but from what im being told it sounds like - guy was given a refund shrug is what im going to hear over and over.

AHHH! so, what would you do?

[Debthecat]

Count my blessings that he is gone and change the locks?

[Christine_Shirtcliff]

In addition to costing you money, he’s sucking up your valuable time and mental energy if he’s making you focus on this. Airbnb is infamous for siding with guests. You can escalate it, but the best I can see happening Airbnb not letting him post a review. If he does, your review should be 100% facts about his behavior avoiding opinions and emotion. Prospective guests will see you as objective and reasonable and him as an idiot.

[Ritz3]

Take the $100 Airbnb offered you for damages. I agree with others, change your locks and be grateful that he’s gone.

Write him a review in which you give him one star, click on “wouldn’t host again” and in review mention that he was problematic.

Take a little break from Airbnb. Enjoy the summer and in the fall you might want to open the space again for Airbnb.

I’m sorry you had this awful and scary situation. Hang in there.

[mjfmjfmjf]

maybe its not clear enough from above but my main issue where i think i deserve a better resolution is with the error the airbnb phone agent made. they cancelled the reservation telling me the guest wouldnt receive a refund, but instead it was the opposite. the guest didnt even ask for / want a full refund. they were at peace with the other nights they stayed - i saw in my email after i got off the phone they had submitted a request to shorten their stay by 1 night, which would have meant 1/2 the last night - 50$ refund, which would have resolved the situation. if i had gotten off the phone with the agent and clicked accept, that would have better resolved the situation, but the phone agent in vietnam (where the call came from so i assume) worsened the situation, accidentally (unintentionally, even on their part) refunding the guest 500+$ when the guest was only even requesting / taking issue w/ 1 night of a 1 night stay, gave me misinfo, made an error.

its not a situation where airbnb sided with the guest or where the guest even wanted a full refund.

[Ritz3]

Yes, I understood the issue but the problem is that Aibnb reps are awful. You will waste your time dealing with them since they seem to always side with the guest and throw hosts under the bus.

[jaquo]

@mjfmjfmjf

big screaming fight btwn them in which he was yelling what sounded to me like pretty emotionally abusive stuff, and to “get the f*** out” while she was crying, begging,

What did you do at this point?

I think I’ve got the timing wrong here. If he paid until Monday he’s entitled to stay there until Monday.

I imagine that he thought he’d be able to stay with the second girl but for some reason didn’t so returned ‘home’.

[mjfmjfmjf]

i did nothing. i just spent the day anxious and worried that this girl who had just been thrown out was ok and thought well, hopefully the rest of his stay will be quieter. when the guest announced he was checking out saturday, he left his keys in the apartment, took everything of his, and everything with me (as far as he knew) was fine.

the confrontational issue arose when he demanded AFTER HE CHECKED OUT (after leaving his keys voluntarily in an apartment that was locked & no one but me had another set) to be let back in sunday. i wasnt even in town. but also, when his messages got threatening, i got scared because i had witnessed the aggression towards his now ex-gf.

[dpfromva]

Sounds like the rep hit the wrong button, and offering you $100 for damages is their way of trying to even it up, as Airbnb is notoriously stingy with such payments and would normally demand photos/receipts, etc.

Just write an honest review (you can vet it here for cool objectivity) and thumbs down.

How much $$ did you lose, net? If it’s a lot, you could tweet/facebook post to see if you can get more:

“Shouting, cursing, abusive guest checked out early after loud domestic dispute in the STR. Terrified me and my dog. Tried to return after check out. Sent harassing messages. Airbnb reimbursed guest all but $100; I lost $xxx revenue. Scary & can’t count on Airbnb for payout.”

[rexbanner]

Please use paragraphs… That was painful to read (in more ways than one).

Invest in a smart lock. No keys to collect, no keys can get lost, no keys can be copied, can check who comes in and when, can remotely lock and unlock… it’s magical!

Good luck

[jaquo]

@mjfmjfmjf

i did nothing. i just spent the day anxious and worried that this girl who had just been thrown out was ok

I’m afraid that this is where we differ. (And that’s fine because all hosts are different). If I’d heard a young girl crying and begging, I would have felt obliged to do something.

I know that I’m a pretty foolhardy person but I’d have gone right in there to see if she was okay. Or at the very least I’d have recorded the noise and called the police.

We’ve had conversations here before about how much we should (or do) interfere in the lives of our guests and I admit I’ve always been on the side of not interfering. But it sounds to me that this young girl definitely needed someone to help her.

[muddy]

I agree. At what point do you abandon the “it’s not my business” attitude?

That he arrived with a young girl, was abusive to her, kicked her out, then arrived with another almost sounds like a trafficking situation.

[jaquo]

Exactly. As the grandmother of two girls, I’d never look the other way if a young girl was in trouble.

[NordlingHouse]

@jaquo

I’m afraid that this is where we differ. (And that’s fine because all hosts are different). If I’d heard a young girl crying and begging, I would have felt obliged to do something.

I would have called the cops, right then and there! I have ZERO tolerance for domestic abuse. I know too many victims, and used to drive a lot of women to our local shelter back when I drove a taxi.

I suggest that you post the same summary as in your first post to the AirBnB Twitter account. They hate to have incidents like this made public, and should respond very quickly. Your only other choice is to call back and ask for a supervisor to review your issues, which may or may not work.

[mjfmjfmjf]

you all are imagining something totally different than what happened / what i said. it wasnt trafficking and it def wasnt going to help if i intervened. theyre not in my home - theyre in a separate apartment. she was his girlfriend. it sounded as if he had looked at her phone and was accusing her of still sleeping with an ex, and while he was saying things id recognize as manipulative (personally, i think going thru a partners phone is pretty gross) and intentionally hurtful coming from someone i was dating they were not to the level that a stranger intervenes. the reservation was only in his name - so him demanding she leave is literally not my business. part of why i was taking note was to hear if it escalated to physical violence - it didnt. my main point in relaying this info was in summary: he was an EXTREMELY loud, disruptive and dramatic guest, and to background why i assume he dramatically “checked out” in the middle of his stay, only to then demand access again after he’d changed his mind. i hope none of you are calling the cops simply when people have a messy loud break up - thats not what the cops are for.

[Annet3176]

@rexbanner

Please use paragraphs… That was painful to read (in more ways than one).

Agreed -paragraphs

Lots of good advice has been given here.

I hate this happened. It is a host nightmare. Of course you are scared/troubled/angry-I don’t blame you

I suspect part of the CS mis-step may be you presented the story while upset & on the phone

Contact Airbnb via Facebook or Twitter. Ask for assistance

Factual events:

1. Guest checked in, had loud, abusive fight with gf & demanded she leave (time/date)
2. He left & notified you he left keys was checking out. (Time/date) You can provide screen shots of his texts.
3. He notified you he was returning with a different/unregistered guest and wanted access (date/time) you can provide text screenshots
4. He became harassing & abusive in his messaging (date/time) you can provide text screenshots
5. You had accepted his request to checkout & started clean up.
6. You want your cancellation policy followed & you deserve to be paid accordingly

[muddy]

And how do you know she was his girlfriend? Because they told you so?

That it was a separate dwelling has nothing to do with it.

Involving oneself in a domestic argument isn’t what anyone here suggested. But if it was extremely abusive and seemed like it could escalate into violence, “it’s not my business” is how girls get abused without anyone helping them.

Are you under the impression that women don’t get severely abused, or even murdered, by someone they are dating?

[mjfmjfmjf]

wow muddy. i dont know how this has turned into a grilling of me, insinuating that my not busting into a private apartment (very against all airbnb rules) during a verbal argument where two adults are debating, disagreeing, and ultimately ending their relationship means i somehow dont understand violence against women? you need to step back. you know nothing about me, and im not going to reel off my traumas, my activism, my education when this is about the man who is yelling at women - myself included. you wanna hear my stories of rape and abuse, then i hope youre a licensed counselor. wow - i had no idea how aggressive and awful this board was.

[NordlingHouse]

@mjfmjfmjf

i hope none of you are calling the cops simply when people have a messy loud break up - thats not what the cops are for.

I’m calling the cops if it sounds like anyone is being injured or hurt, or physical force is being used, or I hear loud thumps. I’m not going to wait until it gets worse.

If it’s yelling and it’s loud enough to be heard in my unit, I will contact them and ask them to “tone it down, please” in a tone of voice that indicates that there will be consequences if they don’t.

[mjfmjfmjf]

@NordlingHouse

if it sounds like anyone is being injured or hurt, or physical force is being used, or I hear loud thumps.

right, agree. and as i have said, i listened for this and nothing like this happened - just two people who had been dating being VERY emotional while verbally debating at a very loud volume. the content of what was yelled was unkind, manipulative, demonstrative of aggressive communication, and and i think carrying her bags out / telling her to get out of his airbnb (and it was his airbnb, booked by & paid for by him) showed signs of extreme reactionary brashness - which is relevant to how he behaved later with me. while what happened in their “private” exchange likely hurt her feelings and likely inconvenienced her, ive taken bystander intervention training, volunteered for crisis lines, etc. and im positive my not intervening was the right thing in the situation that i witnessed / overheard.