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Maybe say you need all requests to go thru Airbnb for reviews?
My parents showed up the day after I bought the house and was getting it ready for our first guests, scheduled to arrive the following weekend. I went home that Monday but my parents decided to stay for four more days claiming they were “helping”. (I had it set up just the way I liked it. Um, thanks no thanks!) When they left, the caretaker went over to check it and had to reclean it all. (My dear Mom is a bit of a tornado). That was a $168 expense.
Mom wants to go back but I’ve told her “Since we are newly renting, I really need you to book thru ABB so you can review us. We can figure out the payment details later.” They haven’t broached the subject yet … Hah!
My DIL’s extensive family were always coming to stay, free of charge. Her parents are lovely, her brother, his fiancee, her cousins, aunt & uncle, 2 gay uncles were also very nice but then we found ourselves hosting a former Army buddy of DIL’s father, for free, for a week “while he looked for a job”. Army buddy left an awful mess: empty beer cans with cigarette butts in them, empty takeaway containers, used all the towels we gave him, raided our linen closet and took more towels, left skid marks in the loo, you get the picture. It was the final straw.and we agreed to be much more strict. We told DIL her family and friends need to book via Airbnb 1) to keep the calendars up to date and 2) so we get more reviews. It has cut down on visits by relatives and friends of relatives considerably.
I started doing this with our family and their friends. Guess what? No one booked yet. They always have these grand pronouncements how they will “of course, pay”. But actually count on showing up and on us being too embarrassed to ask for money. That’s why the Airbnb serves as a perfect deterrent.
I also hate the fact that, when my SIL visits us, that the first thing she does, is start emptying out (drinking, eating) our fridge instead of having the decency to just go and buy her own things and also bring us something. In fact, even if she pays I don’t want her around for more than 24 hours.
I have only one friend that I let stay outside of Air. They get a reduced rate and pay me cash. Other friends ask and I have a friends and family rate. I explain that they can stay at my house for free but need to pay at my listing as I rely on the income. I also explain my friends and family rate is the amount I need to not cop a resentment. Most people want to be adored so this works.
I laugh when people say ‘there won’t be much to clean after our stay’. Haha. No such thing! I still have to clean the whole place every time. I reserve the free stays for real catastrophic events. Like Hurricanes Or house fires or other charitable events. I decided in the beginning what my Friends and Family price would be, how many days I could devote to Charity and that’s it. I do not work for free.
I also cannot manage booking outside the app. I just cannot keep it all straight without the app/calendar. I give discounts for referring businesses, some repeat guests that are low stress.
Lucky for me, my husband stays out of the business and just helps when I ask.
It’s definitely a cultural thing isn’t it? When we were in centralish London we only allowed close friends and family stay. Once we let a friend of a friend stay and it seemed to cause the flood gates to open. We quickly put an end to that - we only had an air mattress in our living room too so it’s not like it was a separate room!
Cultural and maybe upbringing. If I would get to stay for free in someone’s house, I would probably help to clean or at least make sure I wasn’t soiling anything, and I would be paying for diners and such things. Resulting that in the end it would be less expensive to stay in a hotel. But that’s the way I am, and the way most of my family and closest friends are. With my FIL it’s all the exact oposite: They soil, don’t take care of things, at best pay for their own diner, etc. …
The good thing of all the reactions here, is that I definitely feel enforced to believe I’m right and to say NO from now on.
I’m not Hispanic but live in a community of Hispanics. I think part of the culture is that yes, they ask for these things and think little of it. And yet they would also give in the same measure if it were available. The kind of Anglos I grew up around build fences and walls and sit on their back porch and say “mine, mine, mine.” The Latinos are on their front porch and if you walked by on a hot day and said hi they would give you their last cold beer and then invite you to sit down. (in general as my first hand cultural observations, no one needs to tell me that’s a stereotype, thanks.)
My experience is like yours. We live in the Bronx which is predominantly Hispanic. I was born here and I totally agree with your stereotype! There’s always some truth in a stereotype. My best friend who is columbian lives around the corner and yes, she asks for or expects things but she gives back as much or more, it’s a family concept. It’s warm and loving imho!
Btw, I am not Latina.
Well, there is just say no to people not actually family…it is a business after all. Or make all these friends book thru Abnb…you can claim that that is the new contract with the company.
Or just say the place is booked…that is how I handle unwanted guests of the personal kind.
As my grownup job is running a jewelry store, I have decades of saying no to friends of family…and even some family…”at cost” is never cheap enough.
Good luck!
It is most important that some guests stay in a hotel. My father was generations older than us. Having married, and after having children, my sister could not put up with my father dictating to every on every petty item. My father was offended until one night my little children were playing and screaming. He got up and said to my mother, “Mother, the good thing about this is that we can go home.” and so they did.
It must be stated in all fairness to father, that parents grow with children’s noise. Grandparents do no.
They always have these grand pronouncements how they will “of course, pay”. But actually count on showing up and on us being too embarrassed to ask for money. That’s why the Airbnb serves as a perfect deterrent.
