Our guests have just left. As we were saying goodbye I asked whether everything was ok for them and whether there was anything they needed that we hadn’t provided.
“No, everything was fine thank you but I am a building inspector for my work in the Netherlands and one of my things I look out for, and that many people get wrong, is the position of your carbon monoxide alarm, it should be low down, a metre or so from the floor, and closer to the woodburner”
I wasn’t defensive but explained I was following the instructions regards positioning which he countered with the logical answer “Hmm, well you see carbon monoxide is heavier than air and will fill the room up from the bottom first and so you’ll be dead by the time it reaches the alarm on the ceiling”
“Crikey, that’s terrible, it makes total sense, I’ll get onto it straight away and move it to a more effective location, thanks for pointing it out”.
I was slightly annoyed because I would have to fill a couple of holes in the ceiling and find some matching paint as well as find a new, unobtrusive position for the alarm (I consider those things an ugly necessity that generally spoil the aesthetic of any room). Anyhow, I took it on the chin and resolved to move it.
An hour or so later we went in the room to clean and were astonished to find that not a single bit of furniture, book or lamp was where we’d left it, the room looked like a deranged poltergeist had just gone through some sort of massive spasm. The sofa was where the armchair had been, the armchair where the table was, the table replaced the log basket, the log basket the dresser the sound system the kindling box and on it went. Nothing had escaped. In the kitchen it was the same, the toaster was on the book shelf, the cutlery there too….you get the picture.
To tell the truth it sort of blindsided me and I forgot completely about the carbon monoxide alarm and instead I had another alarm going off!
As we looked around though we tried to make sense of it, you know, giving them the benefit of doubt and wondering whether what they’d done was a better arrangement than the way we’d laid it out. But although they had left no stone unturned it was more like they’d left no turn unstoned!
It got us laughing and none of it really made any sense including the carbon monoxide alarm. A quick search on google revealed that CO is marginally lighter than air and the best place for the alarm is….exactly where it is.
