Party or not a party?

Wanted to share my experience from this weekend. I accepted a request for a ‘small intimate wedding reception’. Was described as a family event, several very small children, very low key. The house rules clearly state no outside noise after 10. I requested & received a list of the names of people onsite. It should have been fine and we have hosted similar, before.

So - you guessed it - it did start as a family wedding reception for sure; and then after the bride and the small children left, the party started. Speakers brought out, amplified sound in the backyard, by 10pm I couldn’t get hold of the guest who made the booking (‘A’) and contacted Air Party Hotline. They did get ahold of A, and the party moved inside. It was so loud even without music that you could clearly hear while standing outside the house. At 1am we managed to get hold of a guest and ask them to stop the noise. Which stopped by 2. Interestingly Air do not see this as a party, specifically as there weren’t unexpected numbers of people, but as a simple house rules violation. I think the distinction is important. I’ll get this across in the review , I do feel bait-and-switched by this booking - I would never have accepted a party booking. Any advice on how I could’ve better anticipated this, always welcome.

What I’d advise is not to accept any bookings like this anymore at all. Events like weddings, wedding receptions, birthday and graduation parties, regardless of them presenting it as an “intimate gathering”, always have the potential to get out of hand- realizing that is about the only thing you could have anticipated.

Unless one is an onsite host, who can shut it down right away if it gets loud or rowdy, it seems too risky.


Damage is already done all you can do is give them a one star review and in the written review mention the noise and the speakers outside. Hopefully, there were no damages to the property. If so, contact Airbnb and send pictures.


As an on-site host I’m very interested in how I’m supposed to ‘shut it down right away’?

In case of a violation of the house rules, there is nothing more that I can do besides a verbal warning I presume?

If a guest smokes inside for example, I can only ask them to stop. If they continue to smoke, what are my options? Or if they are too loud.

I’m very serious about this, I really don’t know what else to do. :man_shrugging:t2:


I go into mother mode (or at my age, grandmother mode) and tell them to stop as though I was speaking to a naughty child.

If it happens again, tell them again. And then it’s three strikes and you’re out. “If I have to mention this again, I’ll have to ask you to leave”. And mean it. It’s no good threatening to do so without following through. (Exactly as we do with kids).

If a host is not on site (or next door or in the same complex etc.) then they should have a co-host who is.

If guests are doing something they shouldn’t, then they need telling at once, face to face. Messaging the guest, emailing them, texting them - none of these are adequate.

It’s business - you just need to be tough.


If you are on site, walk over to the guest who booked it and say “this is a party and is in violation of airbnb rules as well as my house rules. The party is over, please stop or I will need you to vacate… now”


Yes, that would be the verbal warning. What do I do after that, when the guest doesn’t care? I’m not allowed to touch them. So? :man_shrugging:t2:

As someone who has had two children graduate from college out of state, I would say a blanket statement of “no graduation parties, birthday parties, etc.” is too restrictive. I rented homes each graduation and had family stay there and our kids came by, plus a few of their friends, but it was during the day and all very calm, chill. I wouldn’t have rented if someone hadn’t allowed me to do that. It might have mattered that I was upfront, and also told them about being a host and exactly what they could expect. I would always make those decisions on a case-by-case basis.

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VRBO advertises homes explicitly as places to have these kinds of gatherings and sells folks on the idea that you have privacy and the place all to yourself. I think it’s a smart way for them to distinguish themselves from Airbnb.


That is a good question for this forum, but ultimately you need to be prepared to deal with these issues in the future by clearly laying out your expectations of the guest(s). Additionally, you need to prepare for these eventualities by understanding your legal situation in your location - expectations of intervention by police, for example, depend on what your locality considers illegal activity.

In my part of the US, for example, police will show to help you break up a loud or unruly gathering but they cannot do anything more that essentially saying “quiet” because unless a crime is being committed, they cannot do anything.

Make sure you have Messages in the message thread about stopping the noise from 10pm onwards and document every time you tried to reach them. You’re ON-SITE. That means you walk over, tell them party time is over and they’re breaking the house rules and music needs to stop and non-staying guests must leave.

Then take out your phone, send a Message in the app stating “To reiterate, at 10pm I told you in person that the party must stop. That means no music, no “leftover” wedding guests who aren’t staying on the property and that quiet time starts at 10pm. If I have to ask again, I’ll be forced to cancel the booking and you’ll have to vacate immediately.”

If they become belligerent, document that in the messages and maybe take video on your phone. Then call the police as a last measure.

And definitely 1* across the board.


Agree…I’ve seen those ads in movie theatres and thought to myself “smart.” I booked VRBO instead of Airbnb for those college graduations for that reason, but still I was upfront with the host and since they were college towns I wasn’t the first parent to hit them with that.


I once saw a video of a host ordering 17 people out of a house they had booked for 4. The host was furious, kept yelling at them to GTFO and get a move on. He was filming them traisping out the whole time. I assume he had backup, some buddies there.

Exactly, this is more or less the same situation here in France.

If a guest simply ignores my personal warning to stop the noise/smoking I’m pretty much left at the mercy of the local authorities since there is nothing else I can do.

Of course, I would try to have as much in writing in the Airbnb chat but what are they going to do about the noise besides writing and threatening the guest who already has proven that they don’t care.

Calling the police for someone being too loud in my home is not a high-priority situation and any other calls including criminal offences or injuries etc. will be dealt with first. I don’t know in which country this wouldn’t be the case.

Hence. I’d be waiting a while for someone to show up, only to tell me to be quiet. From newspaper stories I know that the police would have to show up multiple times for the same problem until they would be able to act with force. By that time it’ll be already morning…

I was just curious if there are other ‘special’ host tricks that could be applied (turn off WiFi or power :rofl:)? But I suppose, there aren’t.

Denying them wifi etc would allow them to get a full refund when they complain that the services promised in their booking was not provided, so it is not a good solution, unless you are assuming they will trash you with a bad review or a refund anyway as a result of your stopping their offense.

When / if I have a guest issue I go with video rolling on my phone and make the confrontation. Sometimes that will make them sober enough to accept that they are being asses.


The only instance where we had an issue was a single lady who was so intoxicated that she didn’t know anymore what she was doing. I found her smoking in the accommodation with the front door wide open using a plate as an ashtray. It was quite hard to make her understand that she shouldn’t be smoking inside or at all as she was about to just pass out and I was seriously scared that she would cause a fire. I regularly checked on her if she was still ‘ok’ and the place still ‘not burning’. It was during her last night and she was picked up at 4 am (!) which was a massive relief.

But still, I would not have know how to explain to her to vacate the premises :rofl: She would have just said ‘No’. She also fell and broke one of our garden lamps. She just denied that it happened when I confronted her that day after over the phone. She just said ‘I can’t remember’. :neutral_face:

We recently had our first internet outage for almost 24 hours since 4 years that we are here now. Don’t tell me that our guests could have gotten a free stay out of this just because the internet was out?!? :dizzy_face:

During the day, is a good distinction. You’ve reminded me that the previous times I’ve done this have been during the day. In any case I’m pretty burned by this experience and won’t be hosting larger than the sleeping arrangements permit, going forwards.


Ultimately though, a slap on the wrist for breaking house rules (which is the most that Air will administer) is wholly disproportionate to the disruptoon and distress that these guests caused to us as hosts and to our neighbors. I’ll do this justice in the review but unfortunately many hosts do not read the prior reviews.

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This. We are two middle aged women, facing down an apartment full of rowdy drunk millennials. Direct physical confrontation was not something I was comfortable with.