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On the Edge of the Cliff / Screaming Kids / Talk me down?

Hey Everyone

My week-long Spaniards, mentioned in another post, have about got me ready to sob.

Their kids scream, cry, scream, cry, almost constantly. Luckily they are out most of the day. They are quiet at the moment, but we are all on edge, waiting for the next round of wailing to start. It’s hard to think. The one-year-old just has one volume, one way to communicate, and it’s to scream. I’ve watched her at breakfast - she never says no, or whines, or says ‘mamma’ just WAAAAAH!

Never had kids this bad, ever. Yes, I’m pretty sure I’m going to restrict kids under 5 from now on.

This is the thing - we are going out of town tomorrow and they will be here for another 3 days without us.
They are being so disrespectful I hate the thought of leaving them here. Their stuff is strewn from one end of the ‘suite’ to the other. Just stuff everywhere.

I’m sure it will be fine. It’s going to be ok, right? Yes, it will be in the review. My husband asked them to quiet down last night and they did. But this morning and tonight it’s back to the same. And how do you say, mid-tantrum, ‘please keep your kids quieter’. I’m pretty sure they would if they could.

I was going to talk to the dad, but in the morning he looked so exhausted I don’t have the heart to. They are older parents, and he has repeated many times about how traveling is different with kids than without - I think he and his wife traveled extensively before the kids were born.

I just think - this is clearly a situation that they should NOT have brought their kids into someone’s home. Even a grandma couldn’t handle this.

I’d love to just have them rehoused tomorrow. However, I know that to pack themselves up is going to be a terrible chore.

Actually, they have a TON of medications - I wonder if they have to give the baby meds morning and night and that’s why he’s crying so hard??

I got some unpleasant, even frightening medical news today, which is all up in the air, and I’m trying to pack up my family for our trip, which is a ton of work.

Waah Waah Waah - has anyone had people rehoused? Any regrets?

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I’m so sympathetic to your situation and we are similar in our hosting styles. BUT, there is a line to be drawn. You are not a social service agency, yours is not a home or school for special needs children. If they had a separate entrance you could lock the door to your space and hope for the best on your return. Now, it’s hard to say since you won’t be there to be miserable. Good luck and keep us posted.

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Hang in there - when things get out of hand I throw on my headphones and listen to music or watch Netflix, or treat myself to some time away.

We have a no-kids policy and I hope like heck it has driven away many, many potential families from our property. :wink:

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Oh dear…deep breaths. This is truly awful. Sounds like it’s time to look after yourself and there can’t be any regrets when you do that. Getting some unsettling health news, dealing with this screamer, and being worried about leaving your home to disrespectful people is a lot of stress. Have you tried calling Airbnb yet to see what your options are?

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Help me remember… I know that the AirBNB space is in your basement, but do they have access to your proper house while you are away?

Screaming children, for medical reasons or not, will drive most people to the edge of the cliff.

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Hi @dcmooney,

Sorry to hear about the screaming kids. Do make sure to leave them a review.

Also sorry to hear about the bad medical news.

Personally, I’d consider putting a lower limit for children of 12.

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Thanks all -

Yes, @smtucker, they have access to our proper house - though my concern is in what shape they’ll leave the guest area. Since they are extremely messy while we are here I can only wonder what it will be like when we go. They do, however, keep the kitchen clean and wash their dishes. It’s just stuff everywhere.

Thanks @SuiteRetreat - deep breaths - my mantra “it’s the cost of doing business, the cost of doing business”. We’ve been very fortunate to have very few of these problems so I will count my blessings, and leave an appropriate review. Really, we leave tomorrow morning - I won’t have to deal with them again. I regret now not putting on my "security guard’ persona and speaking with them their first morning, very clearly, about what is appropriate in a ‘share’ situation.

@Perezo - good advice - we’ve actually had great success with kids - I charge for them without flinching because of the occasional crying, the diapers, etc., but nothing to this extent - except for an autistic child, that was horrible, but she was 12 so ‘no kids under 5’ wouldn’t have helped. We are a family of 5 and I love having families here. Just not THIS family.

@KKC - right! “I won’t be here to be miserable”. I’ll keep that going in my head, too. They are on the ‘lower level’ and the door is closed, but it is still very loud from all parts of my home. I’m not talking about just average crying…

@faheem, thanks…it most likely will end up being nothing - it’s just the waiting that’s nasty… ; )

Now if only the airbnb place we are headed to is as promised…It’s on a 70 acre horse farm - let’s hope the house we are in isn’t on the edge of the property next to a busy highway like the last place I stayed in which was ‘nestled on 50 acres of pristine forest…’

So thankful I have sympathetic friends to prop me up. It’s quiet now. I will consider calling airbnb - but for them to move - with the two kids - it would be really, really, really huge…

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Well, if they are that messy, how much more messy could they make it during your short mini-vacation?

Sometimes, we have to throw our anxieties away, and decide that what is important is YOUR kids and YOUR vacation. Get enough rest during your time away just in case you have to wash walls and crannies you had forgotten that you had! But, I think, the thing to do is to enjoy your kids on a horse farm this weekend. “Silver Lining Moment:” The best part of leaving is you won’t have to listen to these screaming kids for three glorious days!

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I hope it stays quiet until you leave in the morning…ugh. If you’re up to it, you could reinforce with the parents your expectations of leaving them in your home alone (better be clean when you get back with no damage!). Might feel better walking out the door in the morning after doing that.

Enjoy your family getaway!

Yes, good idea, I had thought of that - typing up a list ‘since we won’t be here to answer your questions’. I could also let them know that a neighbor will be dropping by at 11 to make sure everything is in order.

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Boy, this has been going on a while. Maybe in the future when you accept kids, just make sure to confirm with the parents that they are well behaved. It sounds like something is wrong here. The baby is too old to have colic. Clearly the kids are running the show and controlling the parents this way. I would have brought this up with them again. “I’m really sorry to have this talk again with you but if you can’t keep the kids under control, I will need to ask Airbnb to rehouse you. This is a family home and we welcome kids but constant disruptions like this unacceptable and are most certainly not welcome.” I would have rehoused them after the first episode. You don’t have to put up with this, whatsoever.

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Yes, I believe you are right (edited to say “you are absolutely right”). I should have been right on top of the situation from the start… And I will review with future parents before arrival and at arrival what is expected, and what the consequences will be if they are not a ‘good fit’. ; )

But for sure we’re going to set a lower limit - just not sure the number. The guests have to walk down stairs to get to their space but this has never been a problem. Twice, though, with their little little one, she’s been starting down the stairs - _while turning back to look at m_e - and their parents are not right there to grab her hand. Gave me a heart attack.

My friends acquainted with Spain - @Malagachica and @azreala - is this normal behavior for Spanish people?

Also let me say - these parents are older - I think even older than me and I’m 54. I don’t know their story but it seems they are completely overwhelmed. The dad loves to talk with me - talk, talk, talk - always saying how much harder it is to travel with kids. It seems to me that he sees me just as someone to serve him - he doesn’t even realize that I am a person, too. Don’t you love it when guests come home and you say “how was your day” and they tell you and then say “and how was yours”. That always blows me away, and is so appreciated. Just reminds me of two young women from Korea - so adorable - I showed them their breakfast table and they said “oh, can we eat with you?” because they really wanted to get to know us. On their last day they went with my daughter on a long bike ride. See the memory of the good times is soothing the sore spots…

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@dcmooney First, so sorry about your health worries. I am sending good thoughts through the universe that all will be well.

Secondly, even though they are Spanish, do you have any child rearing books around? I had so many when my daughter was small. The dad knows he’s being overwhelmed by the kids. If you have a good kid book, you might hand it to him with your hand on his shoulder and say something like, “I found this book invaluable when my kids were younger. Perhaps it can give you some pointers.” When my daughter yelled for no good reason when she was a tyke, we just picked her up and put her in her room until she quieted down (self-soothing). At one year, maybe something is wrong with the child to be yelling so much. I am glad you are able to get away from it. I’d be crying already.

Lol… I think this situation is waaaay beyond getting fixed by books.
Also the mess is a concern. This is not acceptable either.

I know you are leaving, but frankly I would be very worried leaving this out of control situation unsupervised. Are you sure you should? If this is what it is like when you are home, what will they be like when you leave? :frowning:

I know you enjoy hosting families, and even if you vet them there is no guarantee you won’t run up against this again. Make it easy on yourself and say kids 12 and older from now on.

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@dcmooney, I can tell you from experience that a mess is upsetting, but entirely temporary. They will take it all away when they leave. Put it all out of your mind and concentrate on your peace of mind and getting outta dodge.

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@dcmooney Look at the bright side…hmmm…I can’t think of one.
Hang in there dc, all things do pass.

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yes…or…all guests do check-out…

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great advice…thanks

I’m with @CatskillsGrrl with this one: you don’t have to put up with the noise anymore and you can enjoy the break.

I’ve been amazed that no matter what the education is, guests don’t read the house rules and when they get here they ask the same foolish questions one after another. (Like in our house association there’s a rule that I haven’t made up that showers after certain hour aren’t aloud. I write that in the house rules and when I mention it to the guests, it’s always a surprise. And I don’t have that many rules.)

Sorry to hear about your bad experience. I know your counting days that these guests leave, but please do enjoy your getaway @dcmooney !

@dcmooney it’s very common in Barcelona for people to have kids later in life 35-40, but mid 50s seems like a stretch.

We have many friends, in Europe, where the kids rule the roost. However, this sounds just like poor parenting. I cant ever imagine any of our friends letting their kids just scream.

As for the stuff everywhere - are the buying lots of things? We have so many friends visit us in the US and all they do is SHOP, to the point of buying bigger luggage. So, yes traveling from Spain to the US, it would not be surprising for people to shop lots.

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