Why did you accept the booking request if they didn’t respond and answer your questions?
We love to jump off the bridge with you and chase that water that went under AND help you cry over your spilt milk. 
(Muddy you know I 
you and I’m teasin’)
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Great question and a good learning curve for me. I asked the questions after I approved the reservation. I send a welcome letter and share local tips etc…, Lesson learned
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I don’t use IB either. It seems to me that the whole point of requiring booking requests is that we can do some guest vetting before accepting. Most of my guests send an informative enough message with their request, from which I can tell they have read all the listing info, that I don’t need to ask them questions, and if their reviews are good, I will also accept without messaging them back first.
But if their initial message is something like “Will be arriving at noon”, or they have no reviews or a questionable one, I will message with them sufficiently to feel okay about accepting.
As you say, it’s a learning curve-we’ve all had a few.
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Snowy, I agree that it’s great to have personal interaction with guests and I think that the fact that I’m right on the spot (one of our rentals is next door to me and the other diagonally opposite) helps to prevent problems.
But I’m talking here about during the stay. You said that you’re a relatively new host and I’ve been doing this for a hundred years (it feels like it) and I promise that in my experience communication before the stay is nice but not necessary to ensure everything goes well.
Some guests are garrulous, some are incommunicative but it balances out in the end. And we as hosts can’t force guests to be one or the other. Try not to worry about it and it will help you to be a stress-free host. 
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I do notice many guests do not contact me after they let themselves in. It’s not a big deal for me. I live upstairs and can usually hear them come in if I’m home. I do ask that they send me a quick message when they arrive, but many don’t bother - unless something is wrong of course.
When I travel using an Airbnb I don’t want to get all chummy with the host - I’m sure others feel differently. When I arrive I am usually tired, hungry and looking to unwind.
Blair
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I can’t see that taking 30 seconds to answer a host’s message asking if a guest checked in okay and to feel free to ask if they have any questions constitutes getting all chummy with the host. It just seems like common courtesy.
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I think this point often gets overlooked. We only turned off IB recently, and instantly saw a decrease in bookings. Honestly that’s okay with us, as we’re more interested in booking longer-term stays this spring but we do know that turning off IB will mean more gaps in calendars.
In our experience, great guests who are turn-key AirBnB folks use IB as they have read the listing, know the deal, and want the ease of having a booking confirmed quickly.
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I’ve had several more instant bookings since starting this thread, this thread has helped my anxiety quite a bit, by the way. I seem to be liking the instant bookings a lot. Less communication, just in and out, seems to be working. I also changed to same day bookings and have really been satisfied. Good reviews, higher price point and less wear and tear, I may be doing more of this in high seasons.
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Good to hear:)
Do you have outside cameras at your listing?
RR
I don’t have cameras but its a condo and I have a very nosy neighbor who keeps on top of things. I think I have found out people are coming to ski and leave, they are not driving 2 hrs or flying in just to have a one night party. What I don’t understand yet, is peoples lack of planning, why are they willing to pay hundreds more for a same day booking vs a little planning.
I would get a doorbell camera at the minimum. You will see if they try and sneak in extra guests or pets and it will provide some peace of mind. Cameras are a hosts best friend.
RR
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Seems there is a lot of judgement here. You wrote:
“The host just becomes some faceless entity to these self-absorbed, no manners types”
As I said, others may feel differently, but when I travel, communication with the host (unless there is a reason) is not my first priority. I guess I am a self-absorbed, no manners person.
I do ask my guests to send a quick message on the Airbnb app to let me know they have checked in. This is for ME, not for them. Sometimes they forget, or haven’t looked at the house manual, are tired and hungry, etc. etc. Often they will do it the next day or even at the end of the stay. Most are very complimentary and gracious.
And yes - the host usually IS a faceless entity. Sometimes they are in another country, and I have rarely seen a host, although I have messaged and chatted on the phone.
Blair
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How do you make the leap from people being rude, to communication with a host not being your first priority?
I was referring to guests who book places where the host checks guests in personally, and gives them a quick orientation, and then act as if the host is an annoyance and they can’t wait until they leave.
Or those who book a place where it’s clear that the host lives on the same property and then behave as if the host is intruding on them if they see them out in the yard and the host offers some pleasantry.
It doesn’t take much to be polite and friendly for a few minutes. If that’s an irritating hardship, then guests should book places with off-site hosts and self-check-in.
The original post by Snowy was asking about guests who check in with instant book and did not message the host.
The first reply was: “ Inconsiderate, self-absorbed, entitled idiots.”
I would say that might just be a tad judgmental. I was just commenting on the OP’s concern and my own preferences and experiences, both as a host and a guest.
I did say there was a lot of judgement on the thread - not meaning to point only at you. Sorry if you took my comments personally.
I have had a few inconsiderate guests, and am not saying they don’t exist. However, a lack of messaging on check in is not a huge concern for me.
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Well, I also don’t think it’s some great hardship or effort to spend 1 minute messaging the host on check-in if that’s what the host requested, or taking 30 seconds to respond to a host’s message asking if they settled in okay.
I can certainly understand guests arriving tired, hungry, in need of a shower, needing to get kids settled in, and food unpacked and put in the fridge, so expecting an immediate response isn’t reasonable. But not bothering to answer for 2 days, or not at all, just seems quite rude.
OK. Can we just move on, please.
You feel that the people who don’t check in are rude, and it obviously bothers you.
I also prefer that they check in, but I don’t necessarily think they are rude, entitled, idiots or any of the other words used by some on this list. Some of them may be, some not.
Nobody right, nobody wrong. Just a different opinion. I believe the OP was a new host and asking for opinions. We both gave our opinions.
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I have instant book. Our place is on our oroperty and we clean ourselves. I message and have posted “please message when you check out”. This last guest I actually spoke with her in person and basically the last thing I said was please message me when you check out so we can get it ready for our next guests.
Nothing. We could tell she was gone but just in case I didnt want to start cleaning if they hadn’t confirmed their departure.
So I messaged my typical…”Good morning. Check out time is noon. I hope you enjoyed your stay. Please message us when you leave.
It’s so frustrating. Nothing. I wanted to get the place clean.
Also she snuck in a dog. Too long to explain this
Guests aren’t thinking about you wanting to start cleaning as soon as possible when they are checking out. They are packing up their stuff, hopefully cleaning up their personal messes, probably thinking about the rest of their day, reminding themselves to stop for gas before hitting the highway, etc.
Some guests will remember, respect your request and let you know when they are checking out, but to expect all guests to do this and get frustrated if they don’t doesn’t seem like a great plan or attitude. Change your check out time to 10:30 or 11 if you would rather have more time to clean.
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Perhaps your expectations might be a touch high re: msg you? The guest paid you, and likely have other concerns on check-out day.
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On the flip side, we would give a scathing 1 star review to any guest who snuck in a dog / smoked / etc.