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Noisy sex! Oh dear

My latest guests are lovely and they are only here for two nights but … see title :slight_smile:

Now I have no objection to laundering sheets stained with bodily fluids - most of by guests are couples so I’m used to it. But my goodness.

It’s a separate apartment and I can hear them when I’m in my own place. This means that my neighbours can too. Maybe I should say to the neighbours that they brought a tiny dog that was yapping? :wink:


The only question is…are you going to mention it in the review?


I could imagine the review. Yaps loudly. Haha

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We had a couple come; humped right away, left for dinner, came back and humped again. Then again. That third time, DH was dozing in front of the TV, woke up startled and asked me if they were doing it again???

Another time the lady was a screamer…enuf said…


This made me LOL. :laughing:

You should put in the review “lovely people who are obviously in love.”


I once wrote what I considered a brilliant review for a couple who stayed here, not sure if they had it deleted, or they never reviewed me so the review didn’t show up or what, but it’s not on their profile now, in fact, when I click on their profile from my previous transactions, shows up as ‘page not found’ so maybe they are no longer on ABB? In any case, my review was something like this "Marie and her friend came here to get away from home for an evening and are young and full of the associated energy that probably leaves their parents exasperated. They did follow most house rules such as removing shoes but there were multiple wrappers in their bedroom that were on the floor rather than the wastebasket provided."
My private feedback to ABB was extremely candid, and I asserted that this ABB guest would probably be better off in a hotel room rather than a house share situation.
They did have verified ID’s and were in early 20’s, I got the impression after meeting them that they were college graduates not quite out on their own yet. The young man seemed pumped on steroids and I had to threaten to call ABB when he rather alarmingly confronted me about the lack of dependable cell service when I have that fact written multiple times in my listing. But it was the young woman who made the reservation.
In any case, they went out for a few minutes after that and he came back in and apologized for his behavior.
But I was SO happy to see them go.


Or that spend all night scratching loudly.

In my case (island), we all arrive, I go through a brief 10-minute orientation and many times I could tell they are getting antsy, once they grasp they wouldn’t even have to wear clothes the rest of their stay. The trickiest part is when I pick them up, days later, and always make all kinds of noises (like revving the outboard motor) while still 100 yards away, because sure enough they still don’t have any clothes on.


Satisfied guests leave good reviews.


Maybe try playing some of these fairly loudly next time :wink: http://postgradproblems.com/19-songs-guaranteed-to-kill-the-mood-during-sex/

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So what happened?? I’m in agreement with @felixcat satisfied guests leave good reviews!

Other thoughts to prevent this in the future, get a bluetooth speaker, so people can play music and possibly drown out the noise. I hope your neighbors didn’t complain.

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They checked out today and left a great review :slight_smile:

No complaints from the neighbours either - wonderful.


Pro tip: elaborate crosses on every wall and a large painting of weeping Jesus on the ceiling, preferably above the bed. Put Bibles under the pillow as part of the "welcome gift set"
Noisy sex? Uh-uh- NO sex


What about the velvet painting of Madonna?

I’d have to check out and ask for a refund.

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Only if it’s in its own votive cabinet surrounded by ancient candles, Gotta keep it tasteful.

Dripping with rosary beads? What you think? Over the top?

I keep my voodoo alter in the commons not the guest room.


Actually its not funny and very distressful .
No you should say to them- l can you keep the noise down of a night pls others are sleeping .

Meant they have no respect for you or themselves either.
Tell them and stuff the feed back.

I just had a couple who had sex for 2 hours staright. The other guest from downstairs was trying to text me in a middle of the night because she woke up and had to listen to headboard banging at the wall for 2 hours.
I was so tired that i slept through the whole thing like a baby.
My opinion is that they should take it to a hotel. And even there It is disrespectful to make someone listen to all the noises against the will.

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