New guest... Loud "love making"

Hi. This is my first post here. My partner and I have been hosting for a few years now. We are superhosts and have generally had good experiences with Airbnb. The guests have changed a lot over the years however we are still finding the hosting experience to be worthwhile. We have a large city apartment and rent out the guest room and the main bathroom (we use our ensuite when guests are here).

The current guest is an interesting one. She is visiting from Asia and at the time of booking asked if it was ok if her boyfriend came past occasionally. We generally don’t allow unregistered guests however I thought I’d make an exception as she had a strong Airbnb history.

Thus far, the boyfriend has basically been here permanently. It seems she was just trying to get out of the daily additional person fee. It’s not a major issue overall, as we have hardly seen them as they just stay in the room.

While we were having dinner tonight (dining area is adjacent to the guest bedroom), we heard an odd “slapping” noise. This quickly escalated to slapping plus male grunting and then the addition of female groaning. It certainly put us off our meal!

I know we all have to do it, but at that time of the evening and at that volume was really quite surprising. I can’t say it’s something I would do when I’m in a strangers home and they are sitting in the room next to me! It does seem they may well have been better suited to a hotel.

They have clearly gone for round 2 at about midnight (what a guy) and subsequently jumped in the shower afterwards. It’s now 2am and they’re still up and about which is fine, but we can hear doors opening and taps running which is a little annoying. That’s not something that really worries me as I’m usually up late anyway.

How would you guys deal with this? I blame myself for giving the boyfriend the ok to drop in, but it does seem to be taking advantage of my generous offer.

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Send a change request including the fee for an additional guest for all the nights he’s been here.


Well as for the extra person fee, I’d definitely talk to them about it as it does sound they’ve taken advantage of your generosity.

As for the loud sex, I wouldn’t pay it much attention. Humans have sex and there really is no universal time or place for it.

We hear loud sex from time to time coming from our rental space. I personally think its great the people feel free enough to let themselves go instead of trying to hide it. It’s mostly Europeans that I hear as they often don’t have the unfortunate shame & embarrassment many Americans have when it comes to sex.


Make your place a ‘No Viagra’ zone? :grin:


lol, where’s the fun in that?

No fun at all. Upon re-reading my suggestion, it depressed me. LoL


I think I may have to! They’re going for round 3 now at 2:15am! I’m tired just thinking about it.

You guys are right though, we all have to do it. I’m guessing the BF lives here in AU and they’ve missed each other.

Just not something I’d personally do in someone elses house when they’re at home (and the subsequent midnight showers etc).

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I had my first experience of this recently. Felt a bit strange, like I was invading their privacy, so I put my earphones on and listened to a book.

Lol same. If I hear my guests going at it I go for a stroll or listen to music. I’m glad they’re enjoying themselves !

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I agree. Let them know that anyone there past 10:00 (or more than 4 hours, or whatever) is deemed to be a guest and needs to pay the additional guest fee. Don’t go through Airbnb, do it personally.

Is she staying with you much longer? If so, since you’re sharing space ask them to shower between certain hours so the noise doesn’t disturb others in your house at night. As a side-benefit, maybe then she’ll realize that you’re hearing more than she thought.:blush:

If it really disturbs you and she’s staying awhile longer (and doesn’t “get the hint”), you might suggest that a hotel may be a better choice for her.

I’m curious why you advise her to not go through airbnb. I personally would want it all ‘on the record’. She’s shown to be a very inconsiderate person - yes, I’m all for guests having sex - but there’s a time and a place for certain behaviors. I work very late many nights but often put off my shower because I don’t want to create noise and disturb my guests. These guests are ‘going for it’ without regard to the hosts. I’d get it documented, and asap.


I usually play out the scenario in my head - in this case, if the guest is already in the house and contact has been made I think it would be MORE awkward to get notification from Airbnb that the host has complained about the behavior to them than that if they just discussed it.

There is mixed reaction as to what is acceptable and what isn’t. Some seem to be amused, others tune them out… to you it’s unacceptable. Since you can’t expect one “right answer” as to what is considered “normal” I personally would prefer to talk it over with my new friend, instead of them “blowing the whistle” on me.

Can you imagine… you’re staying in someone’s home and not aware that they are upset about something you did… then you get notification “from above” that they’ve make a complaint? I would think “why are they making a big deal of this when they could have just said something to me?”. I’d want to get out a.s.a.p. and it would be oh-so awkward in the process.

Yes, every host is different in their tolerance level. The only thing about this scenario that would possibly bother me would be the showering in the early hours if it was noisy. As for the lovemaking, turn the radio up or something. :slight_smile:

If you have couples in your property they are going to make love. Just tell them to stop having late night showers.

I had a couple once who were from only thirty or so miles away. As I could hear them on their first day making love (she was the noisy one) at four in the afternoon, then seven in the evening and then later, I assumed that this was the purpose of their visit. (Probably an illicit affair). So the next day I said to her “Well, it sounds as though you two are really enjoying yourselves here.” (friendly, knowing smile) “But can I ask you to be a little quieter? You’re making all the single women in the complex jealous.” (laugh).

She laughed too. I winked at him (as if to say “you super-stud, you”) and after that, they continued to enjoy themselves to the full (I deal with the sheets so I know!) but I never heard a single sound and they left a great review :wink:

So I suggest that you tackle the situation head on. So to speak…


Love the example! And everything ended up well with good feelings all-around.

Can you imagine if they had received notification from Airbnb saying there was a complaint? The end of the story would be very different.


Sex is ok. It is the late night showers that are not. Have had to put that in my house rules.

One time my neighbors below me said, wow K! New BF!!! I think I turned a few shades of red and said…no you must have been hearing my guests! :smiley:


Oh, I mean about the extra person showing up. Now, I wouldn’t put that on the message platform "Please limit your moans to xx decibels… (I don’t know enough about decibels to say what would be an acceptable number…

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Haha! Thanks for the laugh about the decibels!

I just think that any time you already have someone in your home it’s best to speak with them about the issue at hand unless it’s really out of control. In this case there are a few issues that the host needs to deal with:

  1. the extra guest - he is there often to be considered visitor and using their facilities, like the shower
  2. late-night showers that are keeping people up
  3. loud sexual escapades throughout the day and night

All of these are annoying, none is a threatening situation. I think they can all be handled face-to-face. I personally wouldn’t escalate it to Airbnb unless the guest is unreasonable about settling.

What do you think, @dcmooney?

Well the advantage is she has a regular companion. If you look at the threads where people bring in all kinds of people or are escorts they have a stress level that is off the charts lol. A happy guest will stay longer. And if you can manage the balance that’s the issue.

I agree that the right thing to do is talk face-to-face, yes, but to also ‘confirm’ through the platform because then there is a record of what’s happening.

I’ve had CS make decisions on my behalf because of what they see written in the messaging platform.

So yes, of course, “hey, I see your guy is actually staying here, I need to charge for extra person” then a message with the alteration immediately after.


I would not have allowed a second person to stay without charging her. Re the "loud love making,"
that is a problem I experienced early on. I hated it but did not say anything. Time has passed and my good reviews have accumulated. Perhaps the good reviews are indicative of the more respectful guests I have. I no longer have this problem.