Listening to Guest's Loud Sex

Okay, I’m no prude, but guests having raucous, wall shaking, a$$ slapping, moaning and groaning morning sex in the guest bedroom of my house was a bit too much. I mean, maybe I’m jealous and this is just sour grapes, but maybe also I don’t want to listen to your private activities.

At least they paid the late check-out fee.


It’s not really even a matter of sex. It’s just as rude as if they blasted their music in a shared home, or had a screaming fight in there. Nothing wrong with having sex in a private room homeshare, but if they’re inclined to be quite noisy about it, they should be booking a self-contained place.


Just one of the many reasons why:
a) I would never stay in an Airbnb that isn’t the entire place; and
b) I would never host an Airbnb that isn’t the entire place.


So you’re saying you didn’t pay extra for this?

Awwww, let them have their fun.


Exactly, We are in the hospitality industry. Be hospitable.


As a homeshare host, which I don’t believe either of you are, I must disagree. Guests should be respectful. Sharing a home is different than having a place to yourself.

As an example, although my listing is clearly for solo travelers, one guest only, I had two incidents in my early hosting days where this wasn’t the case. In the first instance, it was a young, sweet newbie guest who sprang her boyfriend on me. She went into town the first night, came home after I went to bed (quietly, never heard her come in) and in the morning emerged from her room with a guy, who she quite openly and innocently introduced to me right away- she simply didn’t realize she couldn’t invite someone to stay with her. I did let him stay and I know they were having sex all the time because they were quite enamored with each other and hadn’t seen each other for several months, and never emerged from their room until after noon each day, both looking very happy and satisfied (not to mention the 50 pieces of wadded up toilet paper I found under the bed after they left). But I never heard them having sex- they were quiet about it, at least when I was home. Perhaps if I’d gone and stood right outside their door, I might have heard some moans and groans and sighs and sex talk, but of course I didn’t do that, and that level of sound I wouldn’t consider an issue, anyway.

By contrast, another female guest, who was a seasoned Airbnber, and a host herself, so should have known better, brought some guy home at 3AM, they were drunk and loud and woke me up, then proceeded to have screaming loud head-board banging sex. The next day I was quite firm with her that she was not allowed to bring anyone home with her, that she had booked for one, which is all I host.

It comes down to people being respectful in a shared home, or oblivious to anyone but themselves. The latter shouldn’t book shared home listings. Being a good home-share guest means you don’t help yourself to other people’s food, you don’t leave a mess in a shared kitchen or bathroom, and you don’t disturb your housemates by being loud or inappropriate. It’s basic manners.


I figure other guests have had “their fun” in my guest rooms. I’ve just not had to listen to it. I’ve had guests ask to book the room for just a few hours (which i decline), and others who booked the whole day but leave after a short time (hopefully not because they didn’t like it here). People will be people and we are in the hospitality business. I left an accurate and respectful review.

In my home share, my AirBnb room is next t ours separated by my closet and their bathroom. Surprisingly with over 100 couples - most of them young- we have never heard even muffled sex, though we can hear muted talking and laughing.

The construction of this old house is solid and it’s well-insulated, but- other than the occasional long shower (with drought reminders in both bathrooms) and overly-talkative guests we have had remarkably considerate guests.

In our small space it couldn’t work any other way-

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My set up is similar, except I only have the guest bathroom between their room and mine. I can hear the shower running or the toilet flushing, sometimes them talking on the phone, but not what they are saying, and I’ve had one or two guests who snored like locomotives, which I could hear loud and clear, but that isn’t anything they have control over, so I just put in my earplugs. My guests are also quite respectful and understand the home share thing. It’s was only that one girl who brought the guy home and had loud sex who wasn’t.

What would be your advice regarding a neighbor in the next condo over, shared bedroom wall, all of a sudden over the past year or so, he and his wife(?) having loud sex, pretty much on the daily. When they aren’t having loud sex, they are screaming profanities at each other - very thin walls. I’ve been living next to them for almost 4 years. This is a new-ish problem. I believe they switched bedrooms with their young kids. The kids were very quiet. Wish they’d switch back :smiley:

Ugh. If it was just the loud sex, I might mention that they might not realize it, but the walls are pretty thin, and they might not be aware that their activities in the bedroom can be heard loud and clear in your apt. But with a couple that screams profanities at each other, I might not feel like approaching them, they sound dysfunctional, who knows how they’d respond.
Pray for them to move? Bang on the wall the next time they start up? Tell them you just want to warn them that everyone who’s lived in that condo has died a horrible death, that it must be cursed somehow? Consider moving myself?

A friend of mine has an upstairs condo neighbor who does laundry every night, for hours, even though the condo rules are not to do that after 11. Her washing machine and dryer rumble through my friend’s ceiling. What the woman, who is single, can possibly find to wash every single night for hours is a mystery.

I used to live in a row house in Toronto back in the 70s and the guy in the house next door was a musician. The heating systems must have been connected somehow, because I could hear him playing through the vents. He apparently loved the song “These Are a Few of my Favorite Things”, because he played it over and over again endlessly. It happens to be a song I’ve never liked anyway. Drove me crazy.


Thank you for your advice. I will take it under advisement :smiley:

I had written them a note - I was going to put it on their front door, but haven’t had the “ovaries” to deliver it…yet :smiley:

I think the best thing is either pray for them to move or for me to move…I’ll only be here another 2-3 years, how bad could it get?

Murder? I’d sell now.


It does make me laugh when hosts with whole listings put down the concept of home shares based on their own prejudices .

I’ve never heard guests having sex in six years of doing home shares and hundreds of guests.

On the other hand I’ve had guests bring me lovely gifts from their home countries, I’ve had Indian, French, Italian, HungArian, Thai and Greek meals cooked for me and shared drinks in the garden and morning coffee with some lovely guests some of whom have gone onto become friends .


Then you may need to switch your bedroom with your guests :grin:

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We have a home that is very open - the interior walls don’t go to the ceiling. It’s built that way to let the breezes flow through (no AC, tropical island). It also means sounds carry.
It’s not a home share and we rent it to one group at a time. We’ve had some complaints in the reviews (and lower ratings) about the sound carrying.

First, it was bathroom noises - that you could hear someone using the toilet if you stood in the kitchen. So I put transistor radios in the bathrooms with a sign to use them for “cover-up noise”.

Then, someone complained they could not be “intimate with their partner” because the other people in their group would hear them. They must not have kids - there are TVs in each bedroom and every parent knows you turn the TV on for cover up noise!


Hanging a decorative quilt or something similar on the common wall might help a little.

My daughter once thought my husband and I were getting frisky when we were watching a tennis match. There’s a lot of unintelligible sounds coming from some of those tennis players when they strike the ball. I’d chalk this up as just another chapter in the long book that hosts who have been in the business for a few years could surely write.


That is a hazard of home share. My guests have a separate entrance but they do share walls with my part of the house. I make it clear that I board dogs in my home and that they will hear them. Making it clear that they can hear me makes it clear that I can hear them. Sometimes when a guest arrives I make some noise like turning on the TV or computer sound for a few minutes to make sure they realize the situation.

Still, I’ve very rarely heard any noise that I suspected was sex noise. When I go to bed though I always have white noise going fairly loudly. You might consider that for yourself. Still, if you have very much business you’ll get some noises.

I’d rather have sex noise than coughing or loud laughter.

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Are you kidding? I’d fire up the popcorn and invite the neighbors!