Lessons while being a guest

Yes, for the most part. I’ve had two unsatisfactory stays out of 100+ nights in Japan. The remainder were ‘pretty good’ to ‘well, geez that was nice!’. BnBs vary, as with anywhere. Businessmen hotels, such as Toyoko Inns are consistently good.

Sorry to drift…

@BumbleBee This was probably not a one off for this host but somehow you need to get something in your review so other guests will know.
I would be really upset to stay at such a place with someone clearly off the rails with alcohol.
Do some research to see how you can convey the host’s actions.

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I would send her a comment privately. I would not mention any of it on a public review. I would rate her a 3/5 but would leave a generic review in order to protect her privacy.

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I think the review should be factual and not too specific. You could use the words “host was accommodating and exceedingly social”, or if you wanted to go even more negative, “excessively social” or “overly social”.

This will alert future guests to either choose a different place, or be prepared to extricate themselves from uncomfortable interactions.

I have such mixed feelings about this. Hosts who do home share and privacy seem contradictory. And this is just my experience with drunks but I don’t use alcohol to excuse bad behavior. It excaberates the behavior tendencies that are already there.

I’m always a fan of the honest, factual, unemotional review but when one chooses a home share there are compromises to be made and risks to be taken. I’ll be interested to see what the group consensus on this is.

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I dunno. You seem to be having a real run of bad luck.

My family would likely be laughing later and telling stories, “Remember when you got locked IN that smelly house?” “Oh, and that crazy drunk lady!”

It sounds like the one set of hosts were super accommodating with your RV storage and work, and your changes in plans, including relocating another guest. I would put up with a lot after that, including their kinda low “it’s clean enough” and “it works well enough” standards. I’m wondering if the price change wasn’t some auto-thing due to a reservation change on Airbnb. The approach by the criminal, of course, must have been scary and awful and put you right off.

Regarding the second host, maybe she’s an habitual drunk, or maybe she just tied one on as a one-off. I guess the most I would say in a public review was that “the host was very chummy and chatty” to warn other guests.

Maybe you’re “better suited for a hotel” at least for the next couple trips! Meant in the best possible way, not meant in the usual negative way hosts demur about guests. Sounds like it would be nice to have some confidence that the next booking will meet expectations with no weird attributes or experiences.

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Yes, you definitely should leave a review.

An idea for you: “Host accommodated our request for late arrival. She arrived home in time to meet us at 1 a.m. We were tired from traveling, and she was far more social than we were ready for at that time of the night. We wouldn’t stay there again.”

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I think that’s perfect, except this happened the second night, not when they arrived.

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Not at all. I always stayed in hotels, as I needed to be in Shinjuku or Akasaka, before airbnb and so STR wasn’t something that I used until a few years later.
.
The trains were very impressive, especially the metro. Every 2 min, like clockwork and a very smooth ride. Astonishing.

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I agree, and that’s from someone who loves her wine. :wink:

But there’s no reason at all for @BumbleBee to think about being nice or considerate. The host is in business and has no excuse for being drunk when she has guests, especially as this is a home share. What if an emergency had cropped up?

Yes, I’ve had wine when I’ve had guests on the premises but never to the extent of being drunk and ogling someone’s husband. (And you know me, I’d have said something to her at the time - “why are you finding my husband so fascinating, madam?”)

So I’d be on the side of giving an honest review. (With @muddy 's proviso of not saying anything that could cause the review to be removed.) We invariably advise hosts to give honest reviews and it works both ways, guests should too.

I once stayed in a rental listed on Airbnb and it was pretty nasty. Yet it had 5-star reviews, presumably from guests who weren’t being honest. That sort of thing hurts us all.

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Re: “she didn’t force you to sit and chat”

My sister’s first AirBnb home stay was her last: “The hosts pounced on me the moment I entered, offering wine and cheese and asking about my day!” Really - how dare they! :rofl:

Why not politely (or firmly as the case may require)? excuse oneself? I’ve stayed with chatty hosts, under the influence or not- and blown right past them with a cheery greeting or polite response. Hosts know (but may forget) that guests aren’t there to listen to their troubles, so why tolerate it- especially when you’re feeling so uncomfortable?

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I just booked a place in New England for myself and 2 friends. The place looks great. However, I just waded through the house manual which had about 75% more information than I ever thought I’d need including extensive instructions about turning on the water in the bathroom, 2 different procedures for bath and sink. A certain way to swipe off shower glass. Sheesh!
If I’d only known.
I’ve stayed in lots of Air in and out of the country and never seen the likes of this manual.

Yes, too bad some home hosts don’t know how to stand back and take their cue from the guests as to whether they are in the mood for interaction.

When my guests arrive, I show them to their room, mention a few basics they need to know for that space, and just leave them to get settled, unpack, shower, nap, whatever, and tell them when they are ready, I’ll orient them around the kitchen, show them how the door locks work, etc.

It goes the other way, too. I’ve read posts by home share hosts who complain that a guest wants to monopolize their time and expects them to sit around and chitchat all day. I don’t know why they don’t just say “Hey I’d love to chat, but I’ve got a bunch of things to attend to. Maybe we can have a cup of tea later this aft.”