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Is the Guest being rude?


I have a guest who books quite regularly, usually 2 or 3 nights a month. Does freelance work in fire safety. One night he left without staying over night and without telling us even though we were around. When I messaged him the next day he said he had a crisis at home (200 miles away) and forgot to let us know. Fair enough. But he did it again, leaving the house shortly after checking in! And without telling us. He claimed that he couldn’t find anyone, which is not true! I shouldn’t grumble as I still got the full payment. But it leaves me uneasy as he treats it like a hotel and not someone’s home. I just think it’s plain rude! Am I being unreasonable?


Ummmmm, yes! Let it go.


I’m not sure I would consider it rude but it is inconsiderate if he’s within your living quarters. As long as he’s not leaving his “stuff” behind, taking a house key and not asking for refunds, I wouldn’t worry about it. Who knows, maybe he has a tryst going on with someone in town and he’s using your place as his cover.

If it bothers you, the next time he wants to stay, ask him if he wouldn’t mind leaving you a clue that he’s left - like leaving his door open.

He probably doesn’t tell you or anyone else because he doesn’t want to answer any questions. … :crazy_face:


I think he should send you a quick message on the app. no need to think about finding you or any awkward conversations. I mean that would only take 2 minutes! Next time he comes just ask him to send you a quick message if he needs to leave, just so you know he’s ok.


Some guests are rude. Some guests are lovely. Some (probably this bloke) are inconsiderate just because they’re not really thinking.

It’s nothing to get upset about unless there’s a really good reason for you needing to know his whereabouts.


I could think of a number of hypothetical situations where he gets a phone call from someone in crisis and is too distressed to chat to you even briefly and just needs to get home to deal with it. and it might be an ongoing thing when he is away from home. Maybe suggest if he needs to leave early without telling you he follows some procedure like leaves his key in a particular bowl or his door wide open so you can see he has taken all his gear. Or just a brief post it note. You never know what people are dealing with even when they appear pleasant and normal.


I don’t know that I would mind being “treated like a hotel” in this case. He paid for the space and it’s sort of up to him how he spends his time. Since he’s done this a couple times, you know he is not leaving because he has a complaint. Also no indication that he’s leaving the front door open, not returning the key, or otherwise causing a problem. You are providing convenience and guarantee that he has a place to stay if he is not called away. I concur just to avoid confusion you could say, “If you need to leave again, Bob, just drop your key on the kitchen table (or whatever as Jam suggested) so we know how many people are in the house in the event of emergency.” If he’s in fire safety, he should understand that.


Thanks for your comments.

I’ve worked out a foolproof way to ensure he has to tell us he’s leaving in a hurry/not staying the night by double locking the front door!

I was annoyed mainly as I didn’t know he wasn’t returning that evening, the safety latch was off all night. He was duly told politely that he must inform us and yet he scarpered off the next time… Must be having an affair as his work place pays for his stay in London. Wifey will never know!

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